Current Events > I think I am good on dating for awhile

(+) Yeah! (+)

WingsOfGood posted...

???????

It doesnt matter I clearly lost and we both know it now.

Vermander posted...

It doesnt matter I clearly lost and we both know it now.

You lost if you care to do something to "win".

Getting a girlfriend only to show your ex your worth, is a relationship waiting to implode.

WingsOfGood posted...

Nah. Stop trying to manipulate women into wanting you.
Just go out. It don't work, it don't work.

However, also don't waste your time.

If you had loads of fun on the 7 hour date, then you got what you wanted I guess.

None of what I said is manipulates woman anymore than woman manipulates men. Many both men and woman try to ease folks into their minor flaws.

No different from when you apply to jobs. You want to dip from the interview on a high note, not stick around too long so they can change their mind about you as they slowly pick up quirks about you they aren't so thrilled about. For example, you won them over, the more you kept talking the more it really arent that knowledgeable how to perform the job. It's also vica versa for you the interviewee picking up flaws the company may or may not be hiding from you.

It's just human nature for the sunken cost fallacy to kick in, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Some are more receptive to certain flaws, later......than if the flaw is presented from the jump. You can be much more picky when you're not invested yet.

WingsOfGood posted...

You lost if you care to do something to "win".

Getting a girlfriend only to show your ex your worth, is a relationship waiting to implode.

It doesnt have to be a girlfriend, getting laid counts too.

But whats more important if proof that I am better than my ex, now that I know I am the problem I should stop trying.

I've had a girl do that. We were friends before it ended up in the bedroom. Had her hitting the ceiling. Even tells me she wanted me to come back and play some more. Then next day "naw I just didn't feel any sexual chemistry". Bitch you were out of your mind with orgasm. Don't even give me that.

NatsuSama posted...

None of what I said is manipulates woman anymore than woman manipulates men.

lol
That is no excuse to be one who does this.

Do you find manipulative women who try to trick you attractive?

Vermander posted...

It doesnt have to be a girlfriend, getting laid counts too.

But whats more important if proof that I am better than my ex, now that I know I am the problem I should stop trying.

Yeah, you should get over your ex before continuing imo. Even if you find a really nice girl, your heart still being with your ex usually destroys the new relationship.

WingsOfGood posted...

Yeah, you should get over your ex before continuing imo. Even if you find a really nice girl, your heart still being with your ex usually destroys the new relationship.

My heart isnt with her. I am over that, but my self confidence of being abused for many years is so far in the toilet I cant accept my own value until someone else values me. Every rejection just makes me feel more and more like I am not good enough for anyone and will never be.

Vermander posted...

My heart isnt with her. I am over that, but my self confidence of being abused for many years is so far in the toilet I cant accept my own value until someone else values me. Every rejection just makes me feel more and more like I am not good enough for anyone and will never be.

You are still thinking of showing her and winning the breakup. Don't give me that.

If you were over it, you wouldn't care what your ex thinks almost to forgetting they exist.

WingsOfGood posted...

lol
That is no excuse to be one who does this.

Do you find manipulative women who try to trick you attractive?

Like I said in the post, no I don't mind. It's human nature to not bring a laundry list of minor flaws you have early into the relationship. Definitely not aired on the first date or even WANT to be aired.

And to be clear my post has been very clear on those flaws being not well known dealbreakers.

WingsOfGood posted...

You are still thinking of showing her and winning the breakup. Don't give me that.

If you were over it, you wouldn't care what your ex thinks almost to forgetting they exist.

Its not about what she thinks, its about dealing with the fact that if her life has improved with me gone that I am the problem.

Vermander posted...

Its not about what she thinks, its about dealing with the fact that if her life has improved with me gone that I am the problem.

What do you mean problem?

If two people don't work out, it doesn't necessarily mean someone is a problem. It is just life.

I was going to say to stop overthinking things and just keep plugging away, but the advice of working on yourself is correct. It's less that you're undateable or anything and more that rejection is doing actual harm to you atm. Most dates aren't going to work out simply by their nature. Essentially, toughen up and then get back out there.

WingsOfGood posted...

What do you mean problem?

If two people don't work out, it doesn't necessarily mean someone is a problem. It is just life.

I just needed a win. She left me here alone, 1400 miles away from my family and friends.

Vermander posted...

My heart isnt with her. I am over that, but my self confidence of being abused for many years is so far in the toilet I cant accept my own value until someone else values me. Every rejection just makes me feel more and more like I am not good enough for anyone and will never be.

Hence the whole "work on yourself" advice that Jeff mentioned earlier. You're tying your self worth to your success with women. That mindset is going to work against you, more than help you.

If your ex ended things, that's her loss. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you and you have nothing to prove to anyone to the contrary. And if every rejection makes you feel worse, all the more reason to relax on the constant dates. But you also don't want to just sit there, doing nothing but wallowing in self pity.

So, find something fun to do in your free time. Game, drum, join a meetup group, maybe chat with your friends on zoom or something.

Vermander posted...

I just needed a win. She left me here alone, 1400 miles away from my family and friends.

Why not move back?

And you moved just to please her?

WingsOfGood posted...

Why not move back?

And you moved just to please her?

Naw then Id have to deal with her more.

Vermander posted...

Naw then Id have to deal with her more.

wtf, you moved 1400 miles away because of the breakup?

She was a common garden variety dinner whore.

Never do more then drinks on a first meeting, and only after things go well get a lunch or cheap dinner with her.

When you spend big on a first date she will always expect to much.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

She was a common garden variety dinner

Chill that inceldom plz

It's cause you're boring as fuck, always complaining, and not good looking.

WingsOfGood posted...

Chill that inceldom plz

Stop simpin please.

haha, wow. 7 hours? i would have tried to cash in at the end of the night.

Soooo, what did you and her sing?

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

honestly based on his attitude ITT, you're right. I wouldn't wanna fuck someone like that. Can't speak on looks though.

My attitude isnt going to improve if I continue, and at this point Id need to reset all my apps anyways (save for Hinge). Its probably just a good time to take a break.

I don't blame you for taking a break, an experience like that would knock me on my ass for a week or two. I've never taken rejection well.

WingsOfGood posted...

Chill that inceldom plz

He isn't wrong.

If she wasn't feeling the date/guy, then she could have easily volunteered to pay for her own meal.

Not like that term can only apply to a woman btw. Applies to anyone fishing for free shit despite not feeling the other person.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Bro this guy makes topics like this all the time, and according to veteran users he's been saying incelish things for 10 years now. It's obvious that he's the problem or just a shitposter.

Jeff I know you and me are real dudes, don't bother trying to help this guy with his problems because he doesn't want it.

Flockaveli posted...

Bro this guy makes topics like this all the time, and according to veteran users he's been saying incelish things for 10 years now. It's obvious that he's the problem or just a shitposter.

Jeff I know you and me are real dudes, don't bother trying to help this guy with his problems because he doesn't want it.

My account isnt that old, and incel implies that I dont respect women which is far from the truth.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yes, a perfectly fine foundation. Lol. Who on the first date displays every minor negative quirk about themselves. In fact it's a bit of an overshare on a first date, even if done unintentionally.

On a first date it's way easier to be picky about something minor assuming you aren't desperate. It's nothing too deep about that as it applies to a lot of choices in life down to picking a job.

Learning about some minor flaws down the line into the relationship isn't foundation breaking and is actually quite common.

You seem to be confusing a minor flaws with well known dealbreakers. Minor posts are literally talking minor shit that people can be picky about in the beginning when they aren't desperately looking.

@Vermander,

Sounds like you both had a good time...just lacking chemistry in The Kiss. Nobody's fault really, it happens.