Current Events > Women need to ask men out

(+) Yeah! (+)

Really bro

When I was in my teens, I literally never made the first move. I was a shy guy. Then the girl would keep saying we should go out. But that was partially because in teens chicks just like the idea of having a bf and don't care if it's a puddle deep relationship. And in my 20s it was all drunk shit, so that doesn't really count. Plus I'm super flirty when Im drunk. I still think some do tho.

But you can't be ok with this and not be ok with being proposed to by a woman tho, can you? How you feel about that?

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why bother seeking out guys when there's a line of dudes already seeking her out?

Your problem is other dudes, not girls.
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

But you can't be ok with this and not be ok with being proposed to by a woman tho, can you? How you feel about that?

I think engagement rings are stupid af so I would be fine with this

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It's been getting more socially acceptable over time

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When a woman is like "Ugh, I gave him all these signals, why won't he ask me out!" it's very silly.

Most of my girlfriends asked me out or made the first move

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If the guy is hot enough they do

Also, ask yourself if you even make yourself approachable. No one's gonna just walk up to you if you got your head in your phone or your body language screams "I wanna be left alone".

I dunno. I think regardless it's just best to work on your approaching skills and ability to handle rejection, rather than expecting someone else to do the work you can't do.

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They won't though. Too much pride and no game. They'll wait and wait until they're surrounded by cat poop and wine bottles.

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My partner asked me out first. I'm grateful for it too, because I was always terrible at picking up cues. I could approach girls at bars because they were essentially strangers, but when it was a friend like she was I could never if they were actually flirting with me or not, so I just never acted on it.

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Its the direction society is heading for sure

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Plenty of women make the first move.

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Same but girls asked me out.
Im too dense to pickup the flirting

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They do.

I get asked out

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Its changing a lot.

Women are making the first move now. Its the older generation of women who wait for a man to approach them.

Happens to me all the time.

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Yeah, I don't know what tc is on about. I can't even leave the house anymore without being asked out. Women are voracious.

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If the girl asked me alone, i would have said yes but she was with 2 other friends. I thought they were going to prank me so i fucked off.

Cant say i regret it because she looks like the singer in the Ting Tings.

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ZannoL posted...

Its changing a lot.

Women are making the first move now. Its the older generation of women who wait for a man to approach them.

True. She's my ex now, but my last relationship started because she asked if I wanted to go see a movie. It caught me off guard though, I'm not going to lie lol.

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I've never had a woman make the first move, must be flattering.

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smoke_break posted...

I've never had a woman make the first move, must be flattering.

Do you make yourself available? The difference could just be us being available. If you're not in areas where people are socializing and just chillin, it's not gonna happen. No one's gonna approach you in a grocery store or anything, cause they're not there for that. It has to be a place where the reason people are there is just to hang out

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

It has to be a place where the reason people are there are to hang out

like CE?

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Simp posted...

like CE?

Preferably where the ratio isn't 1 to 30.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

But you can't be ok with this and not be ok with being proposed to by a woman tho, can you? How you feel about that?

I legitimately would not care if a woman I was with proposed to me.

But Ive also never been the type to get hung up on well the man should do this! And the woman should do this! type stuff.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

When I was in my teens, I literally never made the first move. I was a shy guy. Then the girl would keep saying we should go out. But that was partially because in teens chicks just like the idea of having a bf and don't care if it's a puddle deep relationship. And in my 20s it was all drunk s***, so that doesn't really count. Plus I'm super flirty when Im drunk. I still think some do tho.

Yeah same with all of that. Or once or twice I lucked out by being in a manic state but the good kind where it makes me seem charming and interesting and super confident where I went for it because I was thinking that aliens were sending me signals to do so or something.

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rexcrk posted...

I legitimately would not care if a woman I was with proposed to me.

But Ive also never been the type to get hung up on well the man should do this! And the woman should do this! type stuff.

That's good. Was a genuine question. Only would care, cause if I didn't ask, it meant I wasn't ready and would have to say no and make stuff awkward. But I'm open with how I feel about everything, so discussions would be had regularly about it until it became a mutual agreement. Then I'd ask.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Do you make yourself available? The difference could just be us being available. If you're not in areas where people are socializing and just chillin, it's not gonna happen. No one's gonna approach you in a grocery store or anything, cause they're not there for that. It has to be a place where the reason people are there is just to hang out

This is true too, I was in a long relationship drought while I was unemployed years ago but once I got a job I was dating one of my coworkers within a month or two.

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I've had women approach me and ask if I had a girlfriend. You just have to get lucky, pretty much.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

When I was in my teens, I literally never made the first move.

Garlands_Soul posted...

Most of my girlfriends asked me out or made the first move

codey posted...

My partner asked me out first.

HBOSS posted...

Same but girls asked me out.
Im too dense to pickup the flirting

Flockaveli posted...

Happens to me all the time.

*Slams head on the table*

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Shablagoo posted...

This is true too, I was in a long relationship drought while I was unemployed years ago but once I got a job I was dating one of my coworkers within a month or two.

what industry? Restaurant/Retail?

I had girls ask me out, but I made the moves with my partner. I had to ask her out like 5-6 times before she said yes.

We were friends the entire time.

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happened to me a few times back when I wasn't married, if it's not happening to you, you're either not attractive enough, not exposing yourself to situations favorable to that or both

IRL, a lot of girls have made some moves on me first. it's probably been 50-50.

online they rarely initiate. usually it's by onesn i'm not attracted to.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

*Slams head on the table*

I hope you're not taking that as there's something wrong with you. It's more of a confidence thing. Which you don't even need a lot, just enough to be able to play along. I was never over confident, I always just had enough to entertain people's lead. Now, I might lead here and there, but I had to get there through exposure therapy.

This has nothing to do with women, but any practice at social interactions helps. Last night the movie we were watching was blurry, so I took it upon myself to go ask if they could fix it. The thought of it made me anxious and I was anxious for the entire walk over to them, but I did it anyway. A lot of interactions aren't just someone fearlessly doing the thing, it takes work. Sadly, they acted like it was no problem and didn't fix anything lol. But Im glad I got to proceed with my life knowing I didn't let that anxiety stop me from trying. Little victory


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bobaban posted...

what industry? Restaurant/Retail?

Restaurant, it was a theatre that served food (and had a small restaurant with a bar). It would get really busy of course but there was also lots of downtime, and it was a 2-screen theatre so even with cleaning we had a decent amount of time where wed just be chilling looking at our phones and chatting.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I hope you're not taking that as there's something wrong with you.

I am. It's just more proof that I'm not good enough, and can't compete with literally any other guy.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

It's more of a confidence thing. Which you don't even need a lot, just enough to be able to play along.

Play along with what? If I had women actively showing interest/flirting I wouldn't be in this shape.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

*Slams head on the table*

Most likely these guys put themselves into social situations on a consistent basis. They helped make it happen.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I am. It's just more proof that I'm not good enough, and can't compete with literally any other guy.

Play along with what? If I had women actively showing interest/flirting I wouldn't be in this shape.

I just mean play along as in stay in conversation. Show interest. I get by by being open with how I feel about everything and asking questions I feel further the conversation. I literally have no knowledge of anything, but I can hold a conversation about most things because I know how to further the conversation by having them do the talking.

Are you genuinely interested when having conversations about other people's lives? Cause that definitely helps

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They do when you're attractive. Or at least, looks and feels semi attractive like having confidence, hygienic, etc. You won't land an instahoe but hey, you take what you can

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I just mean play along as in stay in conversation. Show interest. I get by by being open with how I feel about everything and asking questions I feel further the conversation. I literally have no knowledge of anything, but I can hold a conversation about most things because I know how to further the conversation by having them do the talking.

Are you genuinely interested when having conversations about other people's lives? Cause that definitely helps

I try to. I don't talk about my life when inna conversation, so I've learned to ask about theirs instead when things head that way. It's risky, because sometimes they ask back and I don't have an answer, but yes, I try to keep the focus on them as much as possible.

Solo_Wing posted...

They do when you're attractive. Or at least, looks and feels semi attractive like having confidence, hygienic, etc.

That's it, I'm out.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I am. It's just more proof that I'm not good enough, and can't compete with literally any other guy.

Not true, bro.

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I try to. I don't talk about my life when inna conversation, so I've learned to ask about theirs instead when things head that way. It's risky, because sometimes they ask back and I don't have an answer, but yes, I try to keep the focus on them as much as possible.

That's it, I'm out.

You gotta learn the give and take of talking about yourself too

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KogaSteelfang posted...

I try to. I don't talk about my life when inna conversation, so I've learned to ask about theirs instead when things head that way. It's risky, because sometimes they ask back and I don't have an answer, but yes, I try to keep the focus on them as much as possible.

Well, you know some technique then. You might need to find an interesting hobby so that you got some type of response. I just started gardening, which isn't the most interesting thing. But at least I got a response I can throw out that's not just "watching tv and playing games" lol. And I just talk about it for 2 minutes and bounce the convo back to them, cause Im aware they probably don't wanna hear me talk about gardening. Just enough to make it known I'm doing something productive.

Also, like I said, I can talk about how I feelabout whatever they talk about, which gives insight on me without talking about myself directly. Makes people feel comfortable when you're comfortable.

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Where do you live, TC? I will take you out horn-doggin' with me and we will find a passably attractive girl to make small talk with you. Training wheels and confidence builders.

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I'm not aware of having been asked out

So either it's never happened or I'm too dense to pick up on it
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Do you make yourself available? The difference could just be us being available. If you're not in areas where people are socializing and just chillin, it's not gonna happen. No one's gonna approach you in a grocery store or anything, cause they're not there for that. It has to be a place where the reason people are there is just to hang out

That's a good point and once I think about it, nope I don't.

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I've had girls I thought liked me but wasn't sure never ask me out, so maybe I was wrong, or this isn't as big of a thing as people are making it out to be. I don't think it's as taboo for a woman to ask a guy out anymore but it's definitely still generally the expectation for the guy to "take charge"

And to stop getting oral from men in media

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