Current Events > I'm jaded by dating from dating apps

(+) Yeah! (+)

I don't even know where to start so I'll just say shit with no intended logical sequence.

It's hard for me to get someone to go out, usually it's just conversation and then either they lose interest, I lose interest, or both. So many people online are horrible at having small talk with a stranger, offer one word replies or just "lol", and don't even bother asking/reciprocating follow up questions. Unless they REALLY like you which in that case they'll reciprocate but ask random questions that don't lead anywhere. Ask out too soon and it's ghost. Ask out too late and it's ghost. Ask out at all and it's ghost. Don't ask out and it's ghost. Even I ghost too. I don't even know why I do it. I'm just like, why the fuck would I be invested in a person I only have 3 pics of, no idea about, and work so hard to play conversation chess just to get fucking coffee? Like let's just hang out and see if we like or hate each other; all this online shit is just wasting our time. But I can't ask out too soon cause it's too soon, why's it have to be some elaborate dance of "ask her out without asking her out but ask her out when you know her but not too much and reveal yourself a little but not too much", like that shit is just really fucking stupid. Sometimes conversations get deep and feel like they go somewhere and then it's just done. Maybe I'm just bad at it. I enjoy the thrill of sending cool opening messages just to see how many matches I get and then a mini-high of getting a match but I don't care to follow up. Sometimes I just say the wildest shit and it actually works. Sometimes I'm just horny for a particular girl, set up a date, and then when I actually think about it, I just wanted to watch porn and I cancel. I could say charming shit, act like I'm just oh so super interested and this girl is awesome and all that, but in reality I don't even know this person, I just think she's attractive and that's literally it. Why should I say corny shit when she's nothing more than a stranger I think is hot? I have no investment. My whole sense of vibe and flow is lost through just text. I just have to imagine this e-chemistry from like 3 pics. Sometimes I've called them on the phone to talk which feels 10x better even though I don't like talking on the phone. Talking to someone online makes sense once you've already met them because you can picture them saying/typing stuff out, but talking to a stranger online in some hectic dating market standoutness crap just feels so off. I don't get a thrill out of hooking up with randos anymore and I don't feel like I have anything to prove by racking up numbers.

I want to meet women offline the old fashion way, or just cut through all the weird messaging and just go out to see if we like each other or not.

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Yo, break that shit up into bite size pieces

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Tldr?

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Many people agree with you tc.

Master Kazuya posted...

Maybe I'm just bad at it.

Yeah.

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I hate dating apps too but what is the alternative? Approaching strangers in bars has never been my thing. And I don't really want to date people I have mutual friends with/co-workers in common in case it goes to shit.

So I guess suck it up and keep trying. After the first date with a person things get far easier I find

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"Do you like daggers?"

It really is that easy to woo a potential mate

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BlockAddition posted...

"Do you like daggers?"

It really is that easy to woo a potential mate

are you on a serial killer dating app?

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First you should decide if you want someone when you're horny or if you want something serious.

If it's the latter just do what I do. Say something funny or witty or conversation striking to start. Exchange a few messages, then say you should get a bite or coffee. Keep it casual. You'll get a way better gage of someone in person.

Don't take ghosting to heart. You do it, I do it, girls do it. It's gonna happen but don't let it jade you. It's the nature of online dating.

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The whole ghosting thing is just wild to me. Like, I get it, you don't owe anyone anything because you all don't know shit about each other aside from the flirty shit you say but... It's like running in place and expecting to win the race or something.

Master Kazuya posted...

but ask random questions that don't lead anywhere. Ask out too soon and it's ghost. Ask out too late and it's ghost. Ask out at all and it's ghost. Don't ask out and it's ghost. Even I ghost too. I don't even know why I do it.

Like this right here is just wild to me.


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haloiscoolisbak posted...

I hate dating apps too but what is the alternative? Approaching strangers in bars has never been my thing. And I don't really want to date people I have mutual friends with/co-workers in common in case it goes to shit.

So I guess suck it up and keep trying. After the first date with a person things get far easier I find

Yeah, bars is hard for a whole different reason. Mainly just managing the emotions/tension you feel. I feel like in person has less guessing/speculation, like you just know right away if she's not interested or you immediately feel like you're too nervous or approached wrongly or something, and it when it goes well, it feels like you're really connecting with someone.

Also seeing someone in person is way more motivating than just guessing what they're like, and sometimes those girls that are borderline cute actually have a really fun vibe in person which makes them hotter, whereas online you can't really tell unless they're extra good at online conversation or genuinely funny or whatever. I feel like my standards online are slightly higher because I have to assume their personality is neutral.

KalimariX8 posted...

Don't take ghosting to heart. You do it, I do it, girls do it. It's gonna happen but don't let it jade you. It's the nature of online dating.

RetsuZaiZen posted...

Like this right here is just wild to me.

I think that if I never got ghosted on, I wouldn't have ghosted other people. Initially I would match/message with intention of, yes I'm messaging you because I would like to get to know you better and then go out. But after getting ghosted on, it's just like, meh I guess I'm not supposed to be invested all too much.

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