Current Events > If youre on a break during a relationship, is it okay to still check in

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haloiscoolisbak posted...

No, it was just a super brief conversation where she suggested that maybe we could take a break for a few weeks. We discussed not dating other people but didn't talk about whether we talk to each other or not during these 2 weeks. I just assumed you don't do that during a break, I dunno why tbh

Did you guys go out together often? I suppose my worry is you're overthinking this to be something it isn't.

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Darmik posted...

Did you guys go out together often? I suppose my worry is you're overthinking this to be something it isn't.

Yeah weve basically been around each other non stop for a couple of months, I even met the brother on new years. But no it is in fact a break, her reasons were as I've stated, she's dealing with this shit related to the brother

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The way I see it is you've got a few possibilities here.

- She meant a break as in no dating for a while. You may look like an ass if you don't check in at all
- She meant a break as in no contact at all for a while. You may look like an ass if you check in
- She meant a break as in a break up and it doesn't really matter what you do as you're essentially broken up unless she changes her mind

I don't know what the answer is. It's up to you to really know. I wouldn't stress that much about what your perception of a break is. It all depends on your relationship, that final conversation and what has been left open.

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Yeah, im trying to figure out which of the first 2 it is tbh

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All I'll say is that I'd rather look like an ass with good intentions than an ass who doesn't care.

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Ask them to pls respond

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Yeah, ill go with a brief check in after a week, then after 2 weeks actually ask to hang out

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tbh, move on.

She probably doesn't have her mind on anyone else (dating-wise), but that's because she doesn't have her eyes on anyone period. Don't mean to sound like a dick, but you're probably the last thing she needs. "She's just not that into you" likely in the sense she's really not into dating. It's probably just going to inadvertently string you along without.

I've been with some girls who ended up legit going through stuff. The last one I just checked at one point if she was able to meet her school and job goals, and I regret to find out she kinda hasn't had things go her way. Yeah sure it's nice to know I was never lied to, but if I'm true to once being interested in her, I wanted her to find her way out of her situation. We met at so-so points of our lives. I'm seemingly faring off better now, although it's not a comparison/contest. She was never going to look for some kind of financial help if I could already provide it at the time. You could be most everything a person needs but you can't insert yourself into the past life they're trying to fix and save. You were never there to start and perhaps credit to who you were seeing as well she's keeping it from being your problem.

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Yeah all fair enough i guess. I appreciate the varied advice. I will still hit her up in a couple of weeks, because why not we did agree to do it, but i wont sweat it/will maybe try to prepare myself for the worst

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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Yeah, ill go with a brief check in after a week, then after 2 weeks actually ask to hang out

Do you love her and care about her?
She might not think that if you go a whole week without contacting her. If you want to keep the relationship talk to her and get clarification on what she means by taking a break and go on from there. I think it isnt terrible idea to wait a week or two to find out.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

We've agreed not to see other people during this lol

That's honestly not something I'm worried about

Bullshit. When a girl asks for a break during a relationship, it's translation for "I want to have sex with as many guys as I want, and still keep my simp bf on the back burner in case I want to go back to him".

If she comes back, make sure she takes an STD test.

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I screenshotted the convo about the break to a close female friend of mine, she said it it's a tricky one but that she'd reccemend don't contact her for the 2 weeks, so I'll follow her advice


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Artillatron8 posted...

Bullshit. When a girl asks for a break during a relationship, it's translation for "I want to have sex with as many guys as I want, and still keep my simp bf on the back burner in case I want to go back to him".

If she comes back, make sure she takes an STD test.

Just because this keeps coming up, she has bipolar, is on a bunch of anti psychotics atm, barely leaves the house and sleeps more than anyone I've ever met

She's not dating other guys

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I feel like you weren't keen on he break it was something she mostly dictated

If that's the case you should of said you don't want the break I can support you during this time etc. She can't keep going on breaks everything something dramatic happens

I feel like you dun goofed tc but there is some chance I guess. I don't know everything.

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I didn't want to be overbearing I guess

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Lairen posted...

When im going through tough shit the last thing i want to see is the person i love.

SARCASM

Actually, I asked for a break because of tough shit. I just had no time for a relationship. That was certainly not the end. Oh no, that was a whole other ball game.

Gotta have a little faith if you're looking at the long term, tc. Sure, you're exposing yourself to potential harm, but there's no room for insecurity in healthy bonds.

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Yeah I think I'm probably confusing myself at this point by continuing to take everyone's advice as gospel no matter how different it all is

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I dont think you should sweat it, TC. She might have just meant taking a break from spending so much time together, to sort her shit out. She likely still wants you as a part of her life though

Just my $0.02

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Gwynevere posted...

I dont think you should sweat it, TC. She might have just meant taking a break from spending so much time together, to sort her shit out. She likely still wants you as a part of her life though

Just my $0.02

Lol this is the closest advice I've had to the person who's actually seen the screenshotted conversation. That's comforting

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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Lol this is the closest advice I've had to the person who's actually seen the screenshotted conversation. That's comforting

Feels like the safest approach. I certainly wouldn't take any of the extreme advice that suggests walking away, because there's likely no going back from that one.

I wouldn't text her every day, but check in every now and then. Show that you care

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Gwynevere posted...

Feels like the safest approach. I certainly wouldn't take any of the extreme advice that suggests walking away, because there's likely no going back from that one.

I wouldn't text her every day, but check in every now and then. Show that you care

I did mention if she needs anything over the next two weeks to let me know. The friend who's seen the convo thinks that's enough of an invitation if she wants to talk before the time is up

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I mean a few months is barely a relationship. I wouldnt even call this a break necessarily, sounds she just needs a pause in pursuing a relationship because she doesnt have the energy for it with everything else on her plate.

Wait the two weeks, then check in, but dont be surprised if things havent gotten easier for her by then. The problems shes having dont seem like they are going to be easily solved in two weeks.

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MrToothHasYou posted...

I mean a few months is barely a relationship. I wouldnt even call this a break necessarily, sounds she just needs a pause in pursuing a relationship because she doesnt have the energy for it with everything else on her plate.

Wait the two weeks, then check in, but dont be surprised if things havent gotten easier for her by then. The problems shes having dont seem like they are going to be easily solved in two weeks.

Yeah, you're not wrong.

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