Poll of the Day > Here on the eve of Christmas eve; GodTok with Lok explains the Nativity

(+) Yeah! (+)

December 23, -1 AD... Mary and Joseph ruck in a manger somewhere in Bethlehem. Now, what is a manger? Well, it's kinda like the difference between a duplex and a bungalow... but not really. A manger is similar to barn, but lacks a loft. Except in the biblical ancient times that's not what either of those words mean, a manger is just the trough where animals eat.

So when Mary gives birth in a manger... they mean into the food trough.

...

However, Jesus was not born on the 25th of December. Jesus isn't from Bethlehem, but from Nazareth. We know this from the Roman census which tends to take place in the late spring where it would do the least harm to the economy. Yes, Mary was in labour for 9 whole months! When you're knocked up by god the entire pregnancy is labour even though one could say the day of conception was Xmas, not the birthday.

This is very convenient, cosmic goo-shooting creates SATAN the morning star; a flare up into the sky for all to see... particularly the master computer from Evangelion, who spent the next 9 months circumnavigating the globe to get WEST by following the star EAST. Accidentally parted Siberia from Alaska while doing so... an event known as the Great Catholic Schism, it's very Roman to destroy lands they've never been to.

---

Oof, the depression fairy has inflicted revenge on me for making this topic...

Now all I wanna do is bathe on a pizza and drink a gallon of soda

---

what a weird topic

I can't really add anything

---

can you explain communion

i never really got that bit

---

Blightzkrieg posted...

can you explain communion

i never really got that bit

Communion is where you stand infront of a priest at waist level, close your eyes, and eat whatever he gives you

---

I love fundie kirbo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaZN4EVVzRY

---

i bought myself some xmas candy...

I never had red vines before and they were a LOT cheaper than the twizzlers so I got them.

Eating a red vine...... ... they kinda suck.

Ok, if you like to have licorice straws these are better straws, but all I taste is sugar and no licorice.

---

And now for a very Zeusy Xmas story

https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kjx62u/whats_up_with_zeus_turning_into_animals_every/

---

Blightzkrieg posted...

can you explain communion

i never really got that bit

A pedophile waves his hands and says some words and flat wafers and wine are 'turned' into the body and blood of Christ. Yep, they be straight up cannibals.

---

The origin of Boxing day is rather sinister. You might thing it's related to sport boxing, but you'd be a maroon; so the next logical step would be either a person boxing up all the garbage xmas produces such as putting the tree and decorations back in storage or perhaps major retailers doing the same...

This is a cover up

Boxing day is actually based on the Chinese Boxer repellion and their attempt to kick the Xians out... Xians being colloquial for Christian in China.

---