Current Events > I asked her out. Kind of.

(+) Yeah! (+)

rahasperj posted...

Well, that kind of sucks given the current situation. There's no free time lol. Does that mean I have to wait until I get home?

Like, for reference, I wake up at 5:30 AM and usually get home at 7 PM. Time for going out an mingling is severely limited.

What kind of hobbies or interests do you have? Do you play any recreational sports or certain video games?

There are community clubs for anything you can imagine, especially if you live in a metropolitan area. That would be the first place to go

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TC, you may or may not know it, but this whole ordeal has given you experience and knowledge that will help you in the future and you what you perceive as pain right now, you will be glad you went through this down the road. Trust me, I know this because I went through this exact same thing when I was your age.

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Just tell her you're interested in her and then ask if she feels the same and if not you're cool with just being friends.

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Unrequited love sucks assholes. I can't be friends with someone I'm interested in. I know some people can pull that off, but I can't. It just hurts too much for me.

You gotta try to find that off button, where you just stop contact with her. I probably wouldn't even let her shower at my place anymore.

Remove temptations any way you can. Delete her number if you have to.

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Harpie posted...

What kind of hobbies or interests do you have? Do you play any recreational sports or certain video games?

There are community clubs for anything you can imagine, especially if you live in a metropolitan area. That would be the first place to go

Well, I play video games haha. Not any particular genre, but a little of everything for certain, probably what I spend a majority of my free time doing.

I don't really play Yu-Gi-Oh, but I enjoyed the show and have a deck.

I watch a little bit of anime, but not a whole lot, maybe like 7?

I enjoy fishing as well, and the occasional trip to the shootings range.

I read too, not a whole lot, but if something really grabs my attention, I have no problems sitting down and reading a book or several.

I dabble in Baseball, not as much anymore, but I played for a few years and really enjoy it.

Oh! I almost forgot! Cooking as well! I enjoy cooking and baking, and while I'm not great at either, I'm learning and trying to get better.

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Just bumping so I don't lose all the good advice in this thread.

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Yeah, with your current situation, I would try not to stress about it too much. How much longer you gonna be doing that

JimmyFraska posted...

Yeah, with your current situation, I would try not to stress about it too much. How much longer you gonna be doing that

Well, this job will be a few more weeks, then we're moving to Louisiana for another one. I'll probably be here for at least a few more months.

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Sounds like a horrible job for an 18 year old. If you're gonna do it, you better find something to do to better yourself in the meantime when you're not working. Workout, get some certifications or do some kind of online schooling, do some research that you enjoy. Something productive. What are you into/what are your aspirations

JimmyFraska posted...

Sounds like a horrible job for an 18 year old. If you're gonna do it, you better find something to do to better yourself in the meantime when you're not working. Workout, get some certifications or do some kind of online schooling, do some research that you enjoy. Something productive. What are you into/what are your aspirations

Well, I wanted to be a defense attorney, but I'd never cut it in law school. So then I wanted to be a police officer, but given the current political state of America, I'm not sure I want to pursue that anymore. Then I thought about being a firefighter, while that's not completely off the table, right now I'm thinking of being a welder.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

Well, I wanted to be a defense attorney, but I'd never cut it in law school. So then I wanted to be a police officer, but given the current political state of America, I'm not sure I want to pursue that anymore. Then I thought about being a firefighter, while that's not completely off the table, right now I'm thinking of being a welder.

Welder's a pretty good job, frefighter too. If you have to, just focus on that stuff for awhile. Start trying to make more girls to just be friends with. Or get on those dating apps just to chat girls up.

Also tc, you never posted pics. Isnt she on social media? And give us one of you as well.

Off topic but why did you change your name?

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Oh God ok. I'll do my best. Not many good pictures of me exist, but I think I might have one. I'll see if I can get one of her.

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nfearurspecimn posted...

Off topic but why did you change your name?

I made a topic about that actually. Short answer, I wanted to.

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Hey, I found one of each.



Also, side note, I found her picture on Facebook, and on her facebook is a thing and it says that she'll marry a guy who's name starts with J. Guess who's name is Joseph?

A little superstitious, but she believes in signs and all that, so, who knows.

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I'm really trying to upload the picture of myself, but it's not letting me.

It's a photo of me after I spilled concrete on myself at work about a month ago.

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There we go, I had to crop it a bit.

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You're fucking hopeless, kid.

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MrResetti posted...

You're fucking hopeless, kid.

Wow, hey, brutal.

Was that in reference to this specific case, or just completely and totally. Because if the ladder, that's just a little cruel.

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hello! good luck with this!!
i was too lazy to read anything besides the OP!

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Eliza-Schuyler posted...

hello! good luck with this!!
i was too lazy to read anything besides the OP!

Wow, you have missed so much lol. It's like a Shakespearean production.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

Wow, hey, brutal.

Was that in reference to this specific case, or just completely and totally. Because if the ladder, that's just a little cruel.

Ignore that guy. You aren't bad looking if he's talking about the pic you posted and if he's referring to the situation, we've told you countless times how you're young and have potential. Don't let trolls get to you.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

Wow, you have missed so much lol. It's like a Shakespearean production.

summary?

also update that nobody here wants to see and a little backstory

theres this girl and shes the best person- and i really like her and shes lesbian too
and im absolutely clueless to everything
but i want to ask her out
so i asked her to come with me to the ice skating place and she said yes
but i dont know if its a date or not
and i just
i-
???
i dont know man

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Eliza-Schuyler posted...

summary?

also update that nobody here wants to see and a little backstory

theres this girl and shes the best person- and i really like her and shes lesbian too
and im absolutely clueless to everything
but i want to ask her out
so i asked her to come with me to the ice skating place and she said yes
but i dont know if its a date or not
and i just
i-
???
i dont know man

Easy. No matter how much you kick ass at ice skating (and I hope you didn't mention you do) act like a newborn baby deer on ice. Then as she sees you struggling, ask if you could hold her hand/arm to help keep balance at first and then see how she reacts from there. No need to ask if it's a date or not.

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Touch posted...

Easy. No matter how much you kick ass at ice skating (and I hope you didn't mention you do) act like a newborn baby deer on ice. Then as she sees you struggling, ask if you could hold her hand/arm to help keep balance at first and then see how she reacts from there. No need to ask if it's a date or not.

^This. That's it. Nobody calls a date a date. Well, me and my friends don't.

As for that summary, if you want the abridged version go through the topic, and read everything Harpie, Jimmy Fraska, and I posted. That should sum it up.

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Touch posted...

Easy. No matter how much you kick ass at ice skating (and I hope you didn't mention you do) act like a newborn baby deer on ice. Then as she sees you struggling, ask if you could hold her hand/arm to help keep balance at first and then see how she reacts from there. No need to ask if it's a date or not.

she cant skate my dude
also i did mention that i have been before but its been a long time (due to covid) so i might just fall
and honestly i might look like it- cross country messed up my ankle and i have to do a lot to keep it from getting bad like last race
PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

^This. That's it. Nobody calls a date a date. Well, me and my friends don't.

well

As for that summary, if you want the abridged version go through the topic, and read everything Harpie, Jimmy Fraska, and I posted. That should sum it up.

oh ok. cool, ill get around to it

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Then perfect. If she or both of you struggle, still mention the holding onto each other for balance. Touching breeds affection.

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She doesn't look as out of reach as it seemed to be. You'll find someone else.

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Touch posted...

Then perfect. If she or both of you struggle, still mention the holding onto each other for balance. Touching breeds affection.

yes i know
its gonna be me, her, and possibly my friend who has a brother that plays hockey there
funny story- when i first started talking to her, we were kinda flirty in march but then quarantine hit and now we really talk a lot more
at the very least, i know i at least have a really good friend even if we dont end up together

edit: we bonded over being the only two gay girls in the school that we knew of actually
and gay jokes like wow even that line is straighter than i am

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nfearurspecimn posted...

She doesn't look as out of reach as it seemed to be. You'll find someone else.

This is a little bit of a strange comment. Are you saying give up as well?

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

This is a little bit of a strange comment. Are you saying give up as well?

I'm just saying you're okay looking, and she isn't some untouchable goddess by comparison imo.

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Eliza-Schuyler posted...

yes i know
its gonna be me, her, and possibly my friend who has a brother that plays hockey there
funny story- when i first started talking to her, we were kinda flirty in march but then quarantine hit and now we really talk a lot more
at the very least, i know i at least have a really good friend even if we dont end up together

edit: we bonded over being the only two gay girls in the school that we knew of actually
and gay jokes like wow even that line is straighter than i am

Good Lord just go in for the kiss.

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3PiesAndAFork posted...

Good Lord just go in for the kiss.

good one! youre hilarious, dude
you should be a comedian! lol

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@JimmyFraska

Thoughts?

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oh yeah also she wanted to go get ramen and commit arson with me in DC
i think jokingly?? the arson part. not the other part.

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You really should move on, it's not going to work with this woman, you'll find another one in the future, you are young.

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Sho seems like the right time to just start putting on muscle and just getting on - you probably have a good smile when you laugh and youll definitely find someone brodie

Ngl, shes super cute - but you got a whole life of women who will undoubtedly be interested in you in this brand new age of cyber dating (tinder) things will pick back up.. just give it time and focus

can you grow a beard? if so, do so.

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berlyman101 posted...

can you grow a beard? if so, do so.

Uh, I've never tried, usually the only facial hair I can grow is some peach fuzz on my upper lip, which I get rid of immediately, and some on the bottom of my chin. It just doesn't look good like that so I shave it.

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TC. I'll get back to you in a minute, first....
@Eliza-Schuyler
Eliza-Schuyler posted...

theres this girl and shes the best person- and i really like her and shes lesbian too
and im absolutely clueless to everything
but i want to ask her out
so i asked her to come with me to the ice skating place and she said yes
but i dont know if its a date or not
and i just
i-
???
i dont know man

Don't worry about it. It is a date, but don't put pressure on yourself. She agreed to go with you ice skating. You said she can't skate. You can frame it like "I think you'll be pretty good.... but if you really need help you can hold my arm". The thing is, she said yes, so you're already in a good position. Don't fuck it up between now and then, limit the texting. If you have already set the specific time, then don't talk to her until the date.

Eliza-Schuyler posted...

its gonna be me, her, and possibly my friend who has a brother that plays hockey there

Idk what this means. You don't need other people there. Now other people will seem like they can help break the ice in case of an awkward situation, but on the flipside they will kill the mood if she actually is into you.
Eliza-Schuyler posted...

funny story- when i first started talking to her, we were kinda flirty in march but then quarantine hit and now we really talk a lot more
edit: we bonded over being the only two gay girls in the school that we knew of actually
and gay jokes like wow even that line is straighter than i am

To me, this sounds like she has interest in you already. Just feel it out. As long as she keeps responding well, laughing/smiling etc, you're good to keep pushing forward and make it just a little more known how you feel. I mean, it's better if you can get her to admit it first, but it's not a big deal either way as long as she's displaying she likes you.

JimmyFraska posted...

TC. I'll get back to you in a minute, first....
Eliza-Schuyler

Don't worry about it. It is a date, but don't put pressure on yourself. She agreed to go with you ice skating. You said she can't skate. You can frame it like "I think you'll be pretty good.... but if you really need help you can hold my arm". The thing is, she said yes, so you're already in a good position. Don't fuck it up between now and then, limit the texting. If you have already set the specific time, then don't talk to her until the date.

i wont! we talk when we can in school. i have no classes with her so we make efforts to meet up when we can. and im trying to limit the texting. i talk a lot though. check out my other topic if you want lol, it probably explains a lot

Idk what this means. You don't need other people there. Now other people will seem like they can help break the ice in case of an awkward situation, but on the flipside they will kill the mood if she actually is into you.

they basically live there. nothing i can do about that.

To me, this sounds like she has interest in you already. Just feel it out. As long as she keeps responding well, laughing/smiling etc, you're good to keep pushing forward and make it just a little more known how you feel. I mean, it's better if you can get her to admit it first, but it's not a big deal either way as long as she's displaying she likes you.

yeah! she does. shes never ignored a text and she responds incredibly fast too. and she actually makes the effort to come and see me. its not just oh one likes the other and thats all this time. its kinda different. im hoping it goes well :)

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@PaunchyTurtle53
If you were 22 and she was 18, I would say she would not be out of reach. Just off looks, she's a bit better looking but I would not say impossible. But you add looks plus age, plus anything else idk about. You're reaching for the sun.

My recommendation, you need a better haircut, get some volume up there. Which means, you might have to let it grow a little, so you can then cut it back to something nicer. I'd personally recommend something shorter on the sides, with some volume up top. Also, if you get fucking ripped bro, you'll be a badass no matter what.

PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

Uh, I've never tried, usually the only facial hair I can grow is some peach fuzz on my upper lip, which I get rid of immediately, and some on the bottom of my chin. It just doesn't look good like that so I shave it.

This is a subject I can talk a lot about. Took me years to get a decent beard. I do think it would help your look, but it would take some work if that's all you can get.

The thing is, if you google up "How to grow a beard" the internet will say "Just let it grow!". That is partially true, the parts where you want a beard need to grow in order to become a beard. However, the problem if you just let it grow with no maintenance, is you end up with an ugly neckbeard and patchy everything else.

This is sometimes unavoidable, but what I've learned is there is a middle ground you can take where you can do the best you can. Where you want it to grow, but it's not, do not touch at all. Where you don't want it to grow, but it is, keep saved and trimmed.

So lets say your mustache you want doesn't grow or is only very slight, but you can get some hair on your chin and neck. What do you do, just let it grow or shave it all?

Neither, you do what I said. The mustache you want, do not touch it at all. But your neck? Shave that, keep that down. You don't want your beard there anyway (you only grow on your neck once your beard is full on your face, which will take years).

Another thing to keep in mind. As your growing areas that haven't grown before, let's say parts of your beard or your goatee, you'll notice new hairs start to come in by themselves. Maybe you won't like those lonesome hairs, or maybe since they're new they'll be kind of crinkly and not nice looking, or something like that.

You may be tempted to pluck those hairs, as there's nothing else there anyway, and that one hair is annoying. DON'D DO IT. Do not pluck the hair entirely. Never ever do that. If it truly bothers you enough, shave or trim it. But if you pluck it, it will take years to recover, possibly never.

I couldn't grow my goatee very well, and when I was 21 or so, there was only a few annoying hairs there, and I had a comb that had pretty tight teeth. I ended up plucking those goatee hairs. It was a disaster. And 5 years later, I've almost recovered, but not entirely. That side of my goatee is still behind the other side, all from that stupid decision over a few nights. Never ever pluck a hair out entirely.

Gotta admit, this uh, this hurts a lot. I hate being away from home. There's just no time to meet anyone besides your coworkers down here.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

Gotta admit, this uh, this hurts a lot. I hate being away from home. There's just no time to meet anyone besides your coworkers down here.

Yeah, after you've explained your situation a few times, I started realizing and changed my advice to focusing internally. That's what you do in these times. You could chat with girls online, just to do it. Don't go in expecting a relationship or even dates, but just to have some fun chatting. But yeah, start working out for 30 minutes after your shift, and find something else productive to do.

You can still do something fun and productive. I research Freemasonry. It's a blast (don't be a Mason). It's only halfway productive, but at least I'm learning history. Or, at the very least when I'm relaxing with a game, I have a podcast with good info going.

I'm so unbelievable discouraged and depressed. I'm hurting so much for so many different reasons and I'm tired. I'm tired of having nothing but fragments of a family, and I'm tired of having no home of my own, and I'm tired of working so hard every day for nothing. I give my best every day, and it's never enough. I just want a family, whether it's friends or one I build myself with a woman. I'm so alone, and scared, and I don't know how much longer before I give up. I won't kill myself, I made a promise to a friend who has passed that I never would, but I so desperately want to not have to work so hard, and give it my all everyday just to be passed over at every opportunity by everyone.

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That post was just a little venting, it doesn't really have to do with the topic, but I'm so tired.

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PaunchyTurtle53 posted...

That post was just a little venting, it doesn't really have to do with the topic, but I'm so tired.

There's just no way to stop working hard unless you really invest in yourself brotendo and really start moving towards another job to get away from that girl and into a different zone.

It's like you're staring right at your own broken heart the more you're around that girl and the only other option is to really manage as best as you can or watch or play something or do something that takes your mind outta it

@Eliza-Schuyler
what happened to that one guy you were into tho

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It sounds like you need a break, TC. I am afraid you are not likely to get one any time soon. Embrace this and you may end up in a better space.

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