Current Events > I am now one year sober. AMA

(+) Yeah! (+)

I was a heavy drinker for 13 years, which was all of my adult life up until last year. Feel free to ask me anything at all.

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How long do you think Miley Cyrus will stay sober? She wants to be 100 percent in the morning.

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Is that everything or just drinking?

And good job!

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Good job. I have been sober for coming up on 10 years. The hardest thing to do is finding stuff to occupy your free time.
I have taught myself a ton of new stuff via online resources etc.

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Congrats, homie.

What made you quit, and how did you quit?

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mdcXOlUMfq0

Are there any continuous issues in maintaining sobriety? I don't drink, but I always appreciate perspective.

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I don't have a question, just came in to say I am 8 months sober. Good job man. It isn't easy.

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ehhwhatever posted...

How long do you think Miley Cyrus will stay sober? She wants to be 100 percent in the morning.

I'm not familiar with her situation but I think as long as she wants. I wouldn't try to predict anyone's sobriety but especially not a celebrity's <_<

Bad_Mojo posted...

Is that everything or just drinking?

And good job!

Everything. I only did other stuff because of alcohol, so without that, it was easy.

I don't think I've even had a caffeinated beverage in all this time.
coolcono posted...

Good job. I have been sober for coming up on 10 years. The hardest thing to do is finding stuff to occupy your free time.
I have taught myself a ton of new stuff via online resources etc.

Damn. Ten years is huge!

Thank you.

I've found no shortage of things to keep me occupied. I got back into reading, started and stuck to a fitness routine, picked up like 12 hobbies, took on more work projects before the pandemic hit, and other stuff. It's crazy that I was always so "bored" but it was usually just a combination of hangovers and depression keeping me from finding what was right in front of my face.

Eat More Beef posted...

Congrats, homie.

What made you quit, and how did you quit?

Thanks. The depressive effects of alcohol almost drove me to suicide. I don't think I can be more specific than that without getting modded but that's the most concise way I could put it. There were other problems, like health, social, and financial repercussions but it was emotional torture every time I drank. Pure and utter hell. I'm good now, no problems with suicidality or anything like that.

I started out going to AA, despite many objections to the program's religious faade. I was just that desperate. I had some pretty profound experiences and finally got through a ton of shit I just couldn't put to rest, things that compelled me to drink.

That program didn't last long because AA, while a tremendous benefit to me in some regards, was also incompatible with many of my views. I tried to make it work but it ended up turning in on itself and became a source of turmoil that agitated me enough to want to drink. I don't want to bash the program or poison it for anyone else though. Despite its flaws, I think anyone struggling with alcohol addiction should at least give it a try.

I later started looking into science-based approaches to addiction and found some pretty important things. The most important was a book called This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. That was also not without flaws but it really helped me, perhaps more than AA did, though I personally found them to be quite complementary of one another.

The stopdrinking subreddit was also incredibly beneficial for me. It was like an AA meeting without the bullshit. Tons of camaraderie, inspiration, and support that filled the void of my social life.

trappedunderice posted...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mdcXOlUMfq0

I don't have speakers on this PC so


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Were you here to witness the banning of The Admiral?

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Good on you, my dude.

I'm at about 7.5 months myself.

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Did you get DTs
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CalypsoDoom posted...

Congrats :)

Thank you!

Guide posted...

Are there any continuous issues in maintaining sobriety? I don't drink, but I always appreciate perspective.

I still struggle with some triggers, like certain songs and places but I'm overcoming those as well. My social life also took a huge hit and expedited the end of my friendship with my closest friend. Those were somewhat expected problems but it still sucked to realize what a lie alcohol had made of my life. Other than that, I don't have any serious cravings or that "oh fuck, I'm going to fuck it up" feeling anymore. Alcohol doesn't really occupy a lot of my time or energy, which is really weird to experience.

420TwiZtiD420 posted...

I don't have a question, just came in to say I am 8 months sober. Good job man. It isn't easy.

Thank you. It isn't but it's worth it. Keep it up!

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Veggeta X posted...

Were you here to witness the banning of The Admiral?

I can't remember if I was off of CE or the site as a whole at that point but I think I did miss it.

DrizztLink posted...

Good on you, my dude.

I'm at about 7.5 months myself.

Thanks, you too!

Cornmuffins posted...

Did you get DTs

Yeah. I didn't have any seizures or anything severe like that but I did have a pretty fucking awful withdrawal experience and wasn't fully back to "normal" for a few weeks.

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I'm scared that's what might happen to me if I go cold turkey
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Shit man, congrats. Ive tried to quit and Ive been drinking alone during this Covid time. Im drinking alone right now. Are you in the program or did you just do it yourself?

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Cornmuffins posted...

I'm scared that's what might happen to me if I go cold turkey

I didn't think I was at risk because I wasn't a daily drinker, "only" a binge drinker.* The problem with that delusion is that my binges were 2-3 days every week and I was going especially hard at the end. From the first time I drank, I overdid it and that was the theme of my entire drinking experience but at the end, I somehow took it to a whole new level. It was insane.

If I had known DT would have been a risk, I probably would've tried to go to a facility because it was pretty scary and I'm honestly so lucky that it wasn't worse, considering I have a history of poor mental health and I've always been in poor physical shape. However, it's hard to say that I would have done things differently because I was going to die if I kept drinking. There's no way that I could've kept going on with drinking. I wouldn't have survived the emotional trauma of it.

I know a facility isn't an option for everyone, especially with COVID-19 complicating everything, so I can't say what you should or shouldn't do but it wouldn't hurt to check with some more reliable resources out there. Good luck.

dj1200 posted...

Shit man, congrats. Ive tried to quit and Ive been drinking alone during this Covid time. Im drinking alone right now. Are you in the program or did you just do it yourself?

Thank you.

Yeah I tried quitting a few other times and didn't have a good plan for that. It just ended up being as miserable as drinking had been up to that point (but nothing compared to the hell that was my last few months of drinking) so I gave up. Had I known what was waiting for me when I started again, I would've tried harder to stick with it. Some people just gotta hit rock bottom and I'm one of 'em.

This time, I was desperate enough to give AA a try but I didn't stick with it for longer than a couple of months. I still talk to some peeps from the group I went to and my ex-sponsor. I just kind of do my own thing at this point, which is a little bit of stuff I learned from AA and independent research. r/StopDrinking has been my biggest help though.

*I want to just point out that you don't have to be a daily drinker to have a drinking problem. That was something that perpetuated and worsened my drinking problem more than almost anything else. If ever I felt like I had a problem and should do something about it, I could bob and weave my way through all of the other criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder/alcoholism/whatever and hold high above my head the fact that I wasn't a daily drinker to refute all notions of a problem, both internal and external. It's a disgusting lie I told myself and believed because I was addicted to alcohol. I'm not saying anyone is or isn't an alcoholic because of this characteristic or the lack thereof, that's up to the individual to determine, but this is something I've not really seen discussed outside of dedicated recovery spaces. One absolutely can have a drinking problem even if they don't drink every day.

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Congratulations. I found the first year to be the hardest, I hope you had a better time of it.

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Wish I could get there

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Congratulations! Do you have any advice for someone who has recently realised that they are drinking far more than they should and would like to quit?

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dj1200 posted...

Wish I could get there

You can, my dude.

It isn't easy at all but having this mindset is self-defeating.

You don't need to think about it like that.

All you have to do is not drink today, not take a drink this hour, not take a drink in this next minute.

Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

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008Zulu posted...

Congratulations. I found the first year to be the hardest, I hope you had a better time of it.

Thank you. I had a huge problem at around the 3 month mark and again at the 8 month mark. I had these two week spats of feeling like there's no way it could last and that I had to drink again some day, and the alcohol addicted brain in my skull kept saying it might as well be sooner rather than later just to get it over with. Outside of that, it wasn't so bad. It did require a lot of effort, dedication, and patience, three things I'm not known for, but I surprised myself, and lots of other people, too.

dj1200 posted...

Wish I could get there

You gotta start somewhere. Check out r/stopdrinking and just lurk for a bit. That's what got the ball rolling for me. Check out This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. The book is written with the still active drinker taken into consideration. You can sit in on zoom AA meetings anonymously, I think. Just listen to or read other people talking about their experiences and think of how they relate to your own.

The_Creep_2020 posted...

Congratulations! Do you have any advice for someone who has recently realised that they are drinking far more than they should and would like to quit?

Thank you!

Lots, but if I had to narrow it down to three things I would say be honest with yourself, don't be afraid to reach out for help as well as accept it from wherever it comes, and there's more power in clichs/platitudes than we think, so don't dismiss them offhand.

For the first one, don't be unnecessarily brutal or self-flagellate but just be honest about the state of your drinking, how much, how often, why, what it does to you, what it gives you, what it takes from you, what you like and dislike about the experience, etc. Don't focus on the concept of good or bad but just thoroughness. Don't try to excuse or deny anything. Don't fudge how many drinks you may have had in one period of time. Don't compare your drinking to anyone else's or try to rigidly define your problem by written criteria. Just paint as complete a picture as you can without any thought as to what's okay and what isn't. You're only answering to yourself so lying serves no purpose and the truth is always there whether or not you acknowledge it.

At some point, likely multiple points, your mind is going to tell you that it is/was not so bad. It's going to start rationalizing away all the things you have a problem with and exaggerating all the good times. It wants alcohol and it knows how to manipulate you into getting it. Safeguarding yourself with the bluntness of truth and the cold, hard facts of the matter is going to go a long way in dealing with that. I actually had written some things down and would later reflect on them when I needed a reminder, and I did need a reminder.

The second thing, there's lots of help out there and nobody should feel afraid to seek it. I come from a family of broken, stubborn people (including lots of alcoholics, total shocker) and I thought I could do it alone where everyone else failed. I wanted to do it on my terms without realizing my terms got me to where I was. Once I accepted that I needed help, I had to get over the hurdle of where I was accepting it from. I was super resistant to AA in the past but I couldn't be that picky this last time around. I put aside all my reservations and ended up finding some pretty wonderful things. That's not necessarily an endorsement of AA, only the kind of progress you can make with an open mind.

The last thing, I know clichs are fucking awful and annoying but once they are contextualized by admitting there is a problem, they really can help. For me, one of the most infuriating phrases I ever heard was "just take it one day at a time." I've had anxiety my whole life and couldn't help but look to the future and obsess about it. One day at a time? Don't these assholes know there's thousands of days ahead of us? Unless... oh shit, unless I die tomorrow... oh no oh shit.

But then I found myself in the moment (several moments) where all I could do was take things one day at a time, or as DrizztLink said, one hour or minute. What else can one do? I can't control time. I can't speed things up or go back to yesterday.

And there are hundred of these sayings, all of them with varying levels of value waiting to be found. Don't just decide they're dumb and throw them away without trying to find that value. Unless it's "Live. Laugh. Love." You can ignore that.


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Pseudomenon posted...

Thank you. I had a huge problem at around the 3 month mark and again at the 8 month mark

The pink cloud phase is a bitch.

You feel great for a little while after cleaning up, then your body just straight-up runs out of dopamine.

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Thank you, I greatly appreciate the time you have taken in writing that response.

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