Current Events > Would it bother you if your fiancee still had her ex husband's name?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Last name that is. She's been divorced for almost 2 years now and we aren't planning on getting married anytime soon. So, would it bother you that she kept his last name?

Yep. Also it can easily be setup to change during the final signing of paperwork.

No, because it's a complete pain in the ass to legally change your name and have it updated in all the relevant places.

Also, depending on how long she was married before, she may have just gotten used to the name. I have a relative who had a (very bitter) divorce, but kept her married last name. That was partially so she'd have the same last name as her kids, but also because she had been "Jane Doe" for her entire adult life.

I assume you're largely griping in the event that she didn't change her name if you two were married. Otherwise, you would be complaining that she didn't change her name back to her maiden name and then over to yours once married.

_Rinku_ posted...

No, because it's a complete pain in the ass to legally change your name and have it updated in all the relevant places.

Also, depending on how long she was married before, she may have just gotten used to the name. I have a relative who had a (very bitter) divorce, but kept her married last name. That was partially so she'd have the same last name as her kids, but also because she had been "Jane Doe" for her entire adult life.

I assume you're largely griping in the event that she didn't change her name if you two were married. Otherwise, you would be complaining that she didn't change her name back to her maiden name and then over to yours once married.

It just feels weird that she has his last name all this time later. Like, sever all ties, ya know?

Not particularly, a name is simply a name, and they are an utter inconvenience to legally change.

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Most divorced women I know keep their married name. I even know one who went back to her first husband's last name after her second divorce.

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No I don't think they usually change it back

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SpacialEntropy posted...

It just feels weird that she has his last name all this time later. Like, sever all ties, ya know?

Have you ever changed your name? Legally?

You have to file to get the name change approved. Then, you have to take the approval letter to pretty much every government institution and commercial service you've ever used to have your name updated. We're talking driver's license, social security card, debit cards, your lease, health insurance, the electric company, your library card, god help you if you have a security clearance, etc. It's a tremendous amount of work just to update your name. And at the end of the day, it is just a name.

Consider the following: if she changed her name to her maiden name, would you be willing to take her name so she doesn't have to go through that whole process for the third time?