Current Events > Guaranteed stimulus checks for life, or the perfect dump.

(+) Yeah! (+)

You are at a crossroads, where one path guarantees a stimulus check every month for the rest of your life that fully reimburses any lost wages, dropped cash, bad investments, anything that negatively impacted your financial security, outside of gambling. Should you decide to retire, the check is the equivalent of your current monthly earnings from that point onward.

Whereas other path leads to the perfect dump, every single time. No negatives exist in this world, when it comes to pooping. You are free to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. Nothing phases your faultless digestive system, so long as the body recognizes it as sustenance. Afterwards, you are treated to the perfect dump, where bad shitter sessions are a relic - a bad memory - that further fades from time as you partake in bowel movements described only in song. No mess, no uphill battles, no negotiations to higher powers that likely cursed you in the first place. The movement is as much calming for your body, as it is your soul.

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Where money

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Can I get a playlist of those songs?

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Nine people have chosen a very narrow path.

Their poor colons.

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Malcrasternus posted...

Nine people have chosen a very narrow path.

Their poor colons.

I use fiber supplements so my shits are pretty good.

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Throw in a free bidet and I'll take the dumps

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Blue_Dream87 posted...

Throw in a free bidet and I'll take the dumps

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Silly goose, a perfect dump leaves your bunghole clean every time

Would everyone get monthly stimulus checks, or just me?

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