Current Events > Does a girls partner number matter to you?

(+) Yeah! (+)

gamer man posted...

I'm not slut shaming I'm just saying my preference is that it doesnt feel like shes given birth to triplets a few times

You're having a real "bag of sand" moment here, aren't you?

My wife had more sexual partners than I did when we met. And I married her. So I voted no

---

RoadsterUFO posted...

37, my girlfriend has sucked 37 dicks!

In a row?

---

It depends on how many we're talking, honestly. If she's 30 and she's had around 15-ish I'd say that's not terrible by any means. If she lost her virginity at 15 that's about one guy a year. So she's probably had some relationships that lasted a couple years, some times in her life where she decided to get wild and have some hookups, maybe a threesome or two, and probably everything in between. She's experienced but not overly so.

After a certain point, I think the people that sleep around a lot end up jaded and damaged, with tons more baggage than your average person. Making them more likely to be unable to have an actual loving and exclusive relationship. Like a drug addict that knows their lifestyle is no good for them, but they just can't quit.

It's an unpopular opinion, but if you look at the people who have the most relationship drama and just can't seem to keep a man/woman, it's usually the ones that have had an extremely casual attitude toward sex and relationships most of their lives. It says a bit about a person, whether they like it or not. Just because you can do something doesn't always mean that you should.

There's probably no hard and fast rules though, it just depends on the person. A person that's only had one partner could turn out to be a lying, cheating piece of shit and maybe the one that's been around the block a few times has a heart of gold and would stick with you through thick and thin.

---

MistressPaige posted...

So I know for guys their number tends to be viewed positively between them but for us it's not something we broadcast often (outside our circle of close friends) as many guys tend to view a high partner count negatively for us which to be frank is hypocritical bull shite but anyway. What are your thoughts on this? Does it matter to you if a girl you're with slept with 30 guys before you? And if so why? Nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life.

Sounds like someone got dumped for this reason.
It is a lot easier for women to get some than men. Too many rejections for men and harsh rejections whereas guy didn't necessarily want sex, just relationship.
You can see where guys would get bitter.

---

I understand their nature now. The number itself doesn't matter. If it's more than 3 (which it most likely is) then she's already not a viable long term partner. I can have some fun with them, but I can't expect them not to just up and leave one day on a whim.

DDirtyDastard posted...

If it's more than 3 (which it most likely is) then she's already not a viable long term partner.

Fucking yikes...

DDirtyDastard posted...

I understand their nature now. The number itself doesn't matter. If it's more than 3 (which it most likely is) then she's already not a viable long term partner. I can have some fun with them, but I can't expect them not to just up and leave one day on a whim.

lmao

---

i've always figured the real reason men care about this (and make no mistake, a *lot* of men care about this to at least some extent, some are just smart enough not to wear it on their sleeve, or mature enough to 'get over it') was a combination of jealousy that they're only getting to be a part of relationships with long-term responsibilities and not the 'free fun times' they imagine happening in youth, and fear that they're being used for attributes that really have nothing to do with attraction. attributes like wealth.

i think a lot of that concern comes from the broader perception they don't really have a lot of value as people.

i would suggest those men practice better hygiene, work out, and ask a platonic female friend to help them dress better. not only will they find that they can still have relationships on whatever terms they want once they do so, but also they won't be afraid they're being used.

i would also suggest they not get involved with women who are significantly less successful. a partner can't use you for assets they already have!

but don't subject the women in your life to your own insecurities.

---

DDirtyDastard posted...

but I can't expect them not to just up and leave one day on a whim.

This is the problem here, a lot of guys just aren't dating material and are very easy to just leave. Have you tried being someone women WANT?

---

Flockaveli posted...

This is the problem here, a lot of guys just aren't dating material and are very easy to just leave. Have you tried being someone women WANT?

You ever have a girl leave you after a family member killed themselves?

My only rule is "if the pussy is tight, the girl is all right"

In other words, I don't give a shit either way

Sackgurl posted...

i would also suggest they not get involved with women who are significantly less successful. a partner can't use you for assets they already have!

Yeah, this is my problem. I need to just bite the bullet and start going after rich women.

DDirtyDastard posted...

You ever have a girl leave you after a family member killed themselves?

What the fuck has this topic turned into LMAO

---

Flockaveli posted...

What the fuck has this topic turned into LMAO

Looks like people trying to insult random people they don't even know from here.

Flockaveli posted...

This is the problem here, a lot of guys just aren't dating material and are very easy to just leave. Have you tried being someone women WANT?

You've probably heard the saying "No matter how good you are at something, there's always someone out there that's better than you."

It applies here too. People that have that constant "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality and are easily bored are still potentially going to leave you or mess around, even if you're successful and a good partner in a lot of ways.

If someone was used to jumping into bed with a different guy or two every week, what reason do you have to believe that they're suddenly going to settle down with you? People like that rarely ever settle down.

---

Of course it matters. But it matters less to me than it did 5 years ago.

---

DDirtyDastard posted...

You ever have a girl leave you after a family member killed themselves?

Do you think that a family tragedy creates an obligation for a girl to stay with you...?

Sackgurl posted...

but don't subject the women in your life to your own insecurities.

Ehh, I hear that word insecurity come up a lot in topics like this and humans are definitely filled with insecurities, so youre right that men judge women based on them. The problem is that its true for both men and women, and either can use it as an excuse to rationalize pretty much any behavior that comes to mind.

Your husband wants to participate in a three-way with two randoms, while you watch, but you dont want him to? Youre insecure.

You want him to come home every night or at least call, and you definitely dont want him to sleep over at his exs place even if hes too drunk to drive? Youre insecure.

Honestly, this could go on and on, and theyre all valid if its important to him and I do know women who were angry about those two examples in their own relationships. Its Ok to be insecure about it.

---

behavior that occurs during a relationship is not comparable to behavior that occurred before it

---

Before I read through this topic how many times has 'insecure' been misused?

---

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Ehh, I hear that word insecurity come up a lot in topics like this and humans are definitely filled with insecurities, so youre right that men judge women based on them. The problem is that its true for both men and women, and either can use it as an excuse to rationalize pretty much any behavior that comes to mind.

Your husband wants to participate in a three-way with two randoms, while you watch, but you dont want him to? Youre insecure.

You want him to come home every night or at least call, and you definitely dont want him to sleep over at his exs place even if hes too drunk to drive? Youre insecure.

Honestly, this could go on and on, and theyre all valid if its important to him and I do know women who were angry about those two examples in their own relationships. Its Ok to be insecure about it.

the goal posts have circled around the earth and met back up

---

I think to a lot of guys it does, mostly for misogynistic reasons - it would bother me a little bit when I was young mostly because of insecurity and feeling like I lacked experience. I dont really see myself giving a shit these days. Although I might be a little weirded out by someone who was a virgin I guess? Like girl what have you been doing we are getting old as fuck.

---

Sackgurl posted...

behavior that occurs during a relationship is not comparable to behavior that occurred before it

Says who? You?

Sounds like youre insecure about something. What is it?

---

BobanMarjanovic posted...

Before I read through this topic how many times has 'insecure' been misused?

Way more than necessary. If you have standards for what you're willing to settle down with, apparently you are insecure

---

I dont want my partner to run out of all sex before I date them.

---

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Says who? You?

Sounds like youre insecure about something. What is it?

If your whole point is basically you dont actually have a point

---

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Says who? You?

Sounds like youre insecure about something. What is it?

if you're not interested in discussing this subject in good faith you can just say so--have a nice day

---

FightingJester posted...

Numbers dont bother me

Jiggy101011 posted...

Honestly it never came up with anyone I hooked up with.

---

Sackgurl posted...

if you're not interested in discussing this subject in good faith you can just say so--have a nice day

Wrong.

You dont want to consider that you, and probably a lot of others, also act out of insecurity and seem offended at the mere mention of it. But youre very quick to criticize men who have their own standards that dont match yours.

Edit: I do want everyone to have a nice day, regardless.

---

Yes and no. I'd only care if shes slept with an inane amount of guys. Just as I'm sure she'd care if I slept with an inane amount of girls.

---

A lot of hatred towards close-minded men. But I never see any hatred towards close-minded women who refuse to date a fuckboy because he gets a lot of pussy. All I hear is 'Yes Queen do you, forget him'.

It doesn't matter which side you're on, at least stay consistent.

---

DarkProto05 posted...

A lot of hatred towards close-minded men. But I never see any hatred towards close-minded women who refuse to date a fuckboy because he gets a lot of pussy. All I hear is 'Yes Queen do you, forget him'.

It doesn't matter which side you're on, at least stay consistent.

Exactly women can have preferences men cannot

I wouldnt even ask or want to know the answer. Especially since my number is closing in on over 100.

Does it matter to me? Nah

Does it matter to some guys? Well, as evident by this topic, apparently so
---

This topic always goes on the most predictable path.

---

Their partner count matters irregardless of what your personal opinion is

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

If you are on the proverbial market, as you rack up phone swipes, first dates, andlikelynew sexual partners, you might start to ask yourself, Is all this dating going to make me happier with whomever I end up with?

In other words, are you actually getting any closer to finding the one? Or are you simply stuck on a hedonic treadmill of potential lovers, doomed like some sort of sexual Sisyphus to be perpetually close to finding your soul mate, only to realizefar, far too latethat they are deal-breakingly disappointing?

Well, sociology has some unfortunate news!

Over at the Institute for Family Studies, Nicholas Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, has found that Americans who have only ever slept with their spouses are most likely to report being in a very happy marriage. Meanwhile, the lowest odds of marital happinessabout 13 percentage points lower than the one-partner womenbelong to women who have had six to 10 sexual partners in their lives. For men, theres still a dip in marital satisfaction after one partner, but its never as low as it gets for women, as Wolfingers graph shows:

https://i.imgur.com/XtReWZV.png

Contrary to conventional wisdom, when it comes to sex, less experience is better, at least for the marriage, said W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist and senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies (and an Atlantic contributor). In an earlier analysis, Wolfinger found that women with zero or one previous sex partners before marriage were also least likely to divorce, while those with 10 or more were most likely. These divorce-proof brides are an exclusive crew: By the 2010s, he writes, just 5 percent of new brides were virgins. And just 6 percent of their marriages dissolved within five years, compared with 20 percent for most people.

Other studies findings have also supported the surprising durability of marriages between people who have only ever had sex with one another.

In this latest study, women who have had one partner instead of two are about 5 percentage points happier in their marriages, about on a par, Wolfinger says, with the boost that possessing a four-year degree, attending religious services, or having an income over $78,000 a year has for a happy marriage. (In his analysis, he controlled for education, income, and age at marriage.)

This analysis merely suggests that sleeping with fewer people is correlated with marital happiness; it doesnt say one thing predicts the other. Even people who have slept with the entire Polyphonic Spree could go on to live in blissful matrimony. Moreover, this analysis is not peer-reviewed; its just a blog post. And Wolfinger acknowledges that, because of a quirk in how the survey was worded, some of the people reporting one partner might have meant one partner besides my spouse.

Still, researchers I spoke with speculated about a few reasons that sexually inexperienced marriages seem so solid.

First, Wolfinger says religiousness doesnt explain the difference between the happy virgins and the less-happy everyone else. But it could be something more subtle: People who avoid sex before marriage might simply value marriage more highly, so they feel more satisfied by it. Contrary to what pop culture might have you believe, Americans are overall a pretty chaste people. The median American woman born in the 1980s, Wolfinger writes, has had only three sexual partners in her lifetime, and the median man six. So if you have even less sexual experience than that, your significant other might be your dream man simply by virtue of being your spouse.

Those who have never had sex with anyone but their spouse may be the kind of people who value commitment highly, said Andrew Cherlin, a Johns Hopkins University sociologist. They have never been interested in sex without commitment, and once married, they may be more committed to their spouses, and therefore happier.

CalypsoDoom posted...

Thats far from the truth

Literally, yes it's not true.

Socially, no. Men are more scrutinized for their reasons for choosing a partner. In 2020.

---

BawdySausage posted...

https://i.imgur.com/XtReWZV.png

Damn, time to go after women with 6-10 partners. Gotta make 'em happy one way or another.

BawdySausage posted...

The median American woman born in the 1980s, Wolfinger writes, has had only three sexual partners in her lifetime, and the median man six.

Huh. Fuck you, median man.

CalypsoDoom posted...

Vaginas literally do not work that way though

Now now joe, dont be so hard on the guy. Its pretty clear hes never actually touched a vagina.

What I don't get about the whole "that's not how female bodies work" is the responses are never "oh okay please tell me so I know the proper way". Why is that?

---

CreepySmile posted...

What I don't get about the whole "that's not how female bodies work" is the responses are never "oh okay please tell me so I know the proper way". Why is that?

Because I usually slide into DMs to ask that. Gotta be smooth.

DarkProto05 posted...

Literally, yes it's not true.

Socially, no. Men are more scrutinized for their reasons for choosing a partner. In 2020.

This

In itself, no, but having XXX partners in XX years can be an indicator of other red flags. The total number is less important than the circumstances behind the number.

If its under 100, that's a dealbreaker for me

---

CalypsoDoom posted...

Because random posters on CE arent owed the intellectual labor of explaining womens anatomy to someone coming from a position of hatred and willful ignorance when there are plenty of resources.

Hmm that I believe.

But for real it's just funny, now you point out how the average dick is affected by cold weather shrinkage and see how they respond

---

As long as they're loyal to me(and don't have any diseases) then I don't care. The past is in the past.

And hey, a woman with experience can be nice.

---

it does a bit. I don't know where I'd draw the line. something obvious like 100 previous partners is just way too much. I don't actually know to tell you at which point it becomes too much though. luckily I don't really have to think about it. I'm probably going to marry my gf who has only had 3 previous partners

---