Current Events > How do you handle a girlfriend who constantly makes you choose what we do?

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DanielJones
02/23/20 1:44:39 PM
#1:


So we just hung out Friday night to Saturday. We got dinner, hung out, did brunch, then she went to the house. She is watching a house and needs to be home by 9. It is currently 1230, and again she wants to do something. It's this weird window of time where we'll have like eight hours to "do something."

Me, I just wanted to stay home alone and shitpost / play cod / watch TV / maybe even get a little work done. But she wants to hang out again. Fine, I'll cede that because I know she gets bored when she watches certain houses. All of which would be fine, except it is constantly up to me to choose what we do.

It honestly boils down to feeling like hey daniel entertain me for the next eight hours. Like it's a chore or an obligation. I wouldn't even mind going to a museum or something boring like that (which nobody does over a year into a relationship, that's like a first/second date thing when you want your date to think you're smart/deep), but I just want her to tell me what she wants to do.

Anyone else get frustrated when the onus to choose what to do is always on you? I just get so annoyed when I've already chosen damn near everything I can think of already. Mall, casino, bowling, no good movies out, food, top golf, VR place, even just getting exercise walking around somewhere (though it's winter now so outdoors isn't an option).

I am just at a loss. Because I also don't want her to have to come over to my place and be just as bored as she is at her house. That's a waste of gas. So as mentioned earlier, it all boils down to "obligation." I'm obligated to entertain her.

Any solutions?

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Solid_Seb
02/24/20 12:18:49 PM
#2:


Have you talked to her about it? Let her know the strain its putting on you/the relationship? If she cares about you then she'll be happy to lighten that burden.

Or you can just say you don't feel like hanging out. Nobody is entitled to your free time, if you just want to chill sometimes then that should be fine too.
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philsov
02/24/20 12:23:13 PM
#3:


Anyone else get frustrated when the onus to choose what to do is always on you?


Of course! So... stop enabling this bullshit.

Punt it back to her and say you're up for whatever but out of ideas; you'd like her to plan the next outing.

Or, just say that today you feel like playing some 1P video games for a spell. She's welcome to come over and watch, but this is what you'll be doing.
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CommunismFTW
02/24/20 12:27:11 PM
#4:


A flighty girl like that will often get bored in a relationship and move on. Prepare for that, TC, if it's one month or ten years down the road.

Start to set some boundaries and expectations. If she can't reason with your side of the relationship then it's best to find a new one, anyway. "Hey babe, I'm feeling pretty low key today. Want to come over and watch me play games / watch a movie / cuddle / board games / stuff around my house?"

If she says no then play it totally cool and let her run off to do whatever she wants, then turn your phone on mute and enjoy the day.

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