Current Events > $14,000,000,000 but you can't earn any more money + need permission to spend it

(+) Yeah! (+)

The money is after tax but if you take it you can no longer earn money from any other means again.

On top of that despite the fact it is your money you have to choose someone to be your guardian and then call them (or ask them if they are there) to approve of any purchase you want to make.

If they say no then you can't buy shit.

You get to choose who this guardian is, although they have the right to pass on the burden to anyone they see fit (except you obviously) at any time and you can't stop them. In fact they have to someone next in line of guardianship in writing in case they unexpectedly die.

So you might see like a PS5 and go boy I want that! But then you'd have to call your guardian and be like "Hey I wanna buy this PS5 at (store) can you authorize it?" and if they say yes then it goes though, if they say no then you can't have it.

Even if you just want a bottle of water, you still gotta get their permission or beg someone else to buy it for you.

IF you can't contact them then you're right fucked.

https://i.imgur.com/JQpDilD.jpg

Would you take it?
---

Does the permitter have to be human?

---

Any guardian with sense would give you blanket authorization for small purchases so you don't have to keep harassing them.

---

Easy. I tell them I will give them $10,000 dollars everytime they agree to a purchase.

---

EnvoyOfTheLight posted...

Does the permitter have to be human?

No but you're kinda fucked if you make it a dog

"Hey Mittens, can I buy this KFC?"
*Licks balls*
"Mittens?"
*Farts*
---

I make a program that returns "yes" for whatever input I give it and make that my guardian

---

Garioshi posted...

I make a program that returns "yes" for whatever input I give it and make that my guardian

---

Deal. And for the permission giver, I choose:



---

karlpilkington4 posted...

Easy. I tell them I will give them $10,000 dollars everytime they agree to a purchase.

Now this is a bad idea. It encourages them to block purchases of multiple items and require you to make them individually(say you go to the grocery store, you'd have to put each item in a separate transaction).

---

Garioshi posted...

I make a program that returns "yes" for whatever input I give it and make that my guardian

It can't be a program

It has to be a living being.
---

UnfairRepresent posted...

It can't be a program

It has to be a living being.

Living beings can be programs. That's gonna take some more effort, though.

---

EnvoyOfTheLight posted...

Living beings can be programs. That's gonna take some more effort, though.

You got Commander Data in your closet or something?
---

uwnim posted...

Now this is a bad idea. It encourages them to block purchases of multiple items and require you to make them individually(say you go to the grocery store, you'd have to put each item in a separate transaction).

Bro, its 14 BILLION dollars, and I bypass alot of these silly rules with annual subscription services for food, streaming services, maids, etc.

---

karlpilkington4 posted...

Bro, its 14 BILLION dollars, and I bypass alot of these silly rules with annual subscription services for food, streaming services, maids, etc.

The issue isn't the money you waste, but rather the time. You literally are encouraging your guardian to maximize the time wasted. Like instead of having an annual subscription, they are going to have you buy by the month to maximize their income. You go grocery shopping and pick up like 100 items, they might reject your purchase and tell you to seek individual approval for each item. And good luck getting a blanket approval for small purchases.

---

No fucking way.

You could be worse off than before. It would be incredibly inconvenient and you'd never truly have control of your life. Sounds shit.

---

uwnim posted...

The issue isn't the money you waste, but rather the time. You literally are encouraging your guardian to maximize the time wasted. Like instead of having an annual subscription, they are going to have you buy by the month to maximize their income. You go grocery shopping and pick up like 100 items, they might reject your purchase and tell you to seek individual approval for each item. And good luck getting a blanket approval for small purchases.

If they do stuff like that just follow them around and kick them in the balls.

It's not like they are going to press charges or give evidence to send you to jail when they want you out and about spending.

That's if you even picked a complete asshole in the first place.

---

I choose this as my guardian:

https://youtu.be/ZXsQAXx_ao0
---

Alteres posted...

If they do stuff like that just follow them around and kick them in the balls.

It's not like they are going to press charges or give evidence to send you to jail when they want you out and about spending.

That's if you even picked a complete asshole in the first place.

Exactly, I plan on picking someone who ISNT a money hungry sociopath.

---

UnfairRepresent posted...

No but you're kinda fucked if you make it a dog

I can get my dog excited for literally anything. Its all about the tone you use.

Hey Kerbey!
*barks*

Want to go to the veterinarian?
*barks*

Were going to get you some shots!
*barks*

And then maybe well stop by the bridge and throw all your toys in the river!
*jingles car keys*

*barks*
*goes beserk*
*runs to door*

---

karlpilkington4 posted...

Exactly, I plan on picking someone who ISNT a money hungry sociopath.

They might not be when you started, but clearly you are picking someone who'd be motivated by money which is why you are thinking about paying them per purchase in the first place. So, it is possible they'd become one.

---

divot1338 posted...

I can get my dog excited for literally anything. Its all about the tone you use.

Hey Kerbey!
*barks*

Want to go to the veterinarian?
*barks*

Were going to get you some shots!
*barks*

And then maybe well stop by the bridge and throw all your toys in the river!
*jingles car keys*

*barks*
*goes beserk*
*runs to door*

Being excited isn't a yes or no
---

UnfairRepresent posted...

Being excited isn't a yes or no

Its as close as you get from a dog.

And if you ask it right it does.

come with me to the car if you approve the funds!

---

uwnim posted...

They might not be when you started, but clearly you are picking someone who'd be motivated by money which is why you are thinking about paying them per purchase in the first place. So, it is possible they'd become one.

It would take me 1 days worth of purchases to get everything I need in life. My very first purchases would be multiple teslas, a mansion with solar panels, multiple chefs who I give 10 million dollars to be my private chefs for life, and a private jet where I pay multiple pilots another 10 million for lifetime access to his services.

If they want to get crazy with me 3 weeks from then, good. They can go be poor without my money. I'm set.

---

UnfairRepresent posted...

No but you're kinda fucked if you make it a dog

Nope. This is what you said in the original post.

On top of that despite the fact it is your money you have to choose someone to be your guardian and then call them (or ask them if they are there) to approve of any purchase you want to make.

If they say no then you can't buy shit.

You never said they have to say "yes", just they can't say "no".

---

DifferentialEquation posted...

Nope. This is what you said in the original post.

On top of that despite the fact it is your money you have to choose someone to be your guardian and then call them (or ask them if they are there) to approve of any purchase you want to make.

If they say no then you can't buy shit.

You never said they have to say "yes", just they can't say "no".

Wut

I literally said they have to approve any transaction you want to make
---

Deal. I don't make irresponsible purchases and there are people I know I can trust to keep me from doing that without being too controlling.

---

easy. you could just pay them $1 million a year to say yes to anything you buy.

Easiest money ever

Just make my fiance the decider
---

creativeme posted...

easy. you could just pay them $1 million a year to say yes to anything you buy.

This, hell you could make it $10m. That's only 1b out of 14 assuming you live for 100 years

---

Yeah I make my wife the guardian and we should be good. We have slightly less than 14 billion now and she doesn't stop me from buying anything...

---

MarqueeSeries posted...

Easiest money ever

Just make my fiance the decider

Might make sense now

what about the risk that in 5 years time you broke up and hate each other?
---

I choose Mrs. DevsBro.

Boom, easiest money ever.

---

No. That amount of money lands you in blackmail territory no matter who you pick and last I checked, there are no living saints.

I'd be hauled off to prison for murder the first time the chosen person says no...for ANY reason.

---

UnfairRepresent posted...

Might make sense now

what about the risk that in 5 years time you broke up and hate each other?

Have her killed so that it goes to the next in line upon her death? Could be an issue if they want the money up front but they may be more than willing if you offer a generous sum of money and show them your bank account for proof of funds.

---

ShadowElite86 posted...

Have her killed

Good lord you're ruthless
---

All they have to do is say no to food and water purchases and youre dead

Anything necessary for survival really

---

Can I bypass this by letting my guardian use my money directly?

Alpha218 posted...

All they have to do is say no to food and water purchases and youre dead

Anything necessary for survival really

well the west has a thing called sinks

JoeDangIt posted...

Can I bypass this by letting my guardian use my money directly?

yes
---