Current Events > Scenario: your girlfriend of 3 years reveals that she's a dolphin

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WilliamPorygon
01/13/20 2:53:15 PM
#1:


Do you stay with her?




After three years of dating, she breaks down in tears and confesses that she has been a dolphin all along. She pretended to be a human by wearing prosthetic legs.

But she says she loves you and wants to be with you and apologizes for lying to you.

What do you do?



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ChrisTaka
01/13/20 2:54:56 PM
#2:


If prosthetic legs were her only disguise I probably deserved to end up with a dolphin.

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Zack_Attackv1
01/13/20 3:03:10 PM
#3:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32S2oJuANxo

"It's happening again." - Schwarzwald, The Big O
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UnfairRepresent
01/13/20 3:04:37 PM
#4:


Dolphins are violent, sadistic and sexually aggressive

They are one of the few animals on the Earth who are capable of rape, getting high and intentionally hurting other creatures just for amusement
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WilliamPorygon
01/13/20 7:38:00 PM
#5:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Dolphins are violent, sadistic and sexually aggressive

They are one of the few animals on the Earth who are capable of rape, getting high and intentionally hurting other creatures just for amusement

So, you would've figured it out on your own, then.

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WilliamPorygon
01/15/20 5:05:07 AM
#6:


*nudge*

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Mistere Man
01/15/20 5:10:13 AM
#7:


Extra hole what is not to love?

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Questionmarktarius
01/15/20 5:10:18 AM
#8:


That certainly does explain the four-day-long baths.
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Foppe
01/15/20 5:19:16 AM
#9:




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EffectAndCause
01/15/20 5:25:15 AM
#10:


Id still believe the relationship has a porpoise. :D
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Agnostic420
01/15/20 5:43:40 AM
#11:


EffectAndCause posted...
Id still believe the relationship has a porpoise. :D

/end topic.

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EffectAndCause
01/15/20 2:25:55 PM
#13:


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RebelElite791
01/15/20 2:26:31 PM
#14:


Is this how your fantasies justify your desires to assault unconsenting animals

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Foppe
01/15/20 2:36:04 PM
#15:


Somebody have heard of John C. Lilly.

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Strider102
01/15/20 3:09:09 PM
#16:


That explains why she gets extremely excited when I nut and do my dolphin squeaks.

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#17
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Shablagoo
01/15/20 3:12:55 PM
#18:


https://youtu.be/GoSTfS3n8iE

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Machete
01/15/20 3:15:54 PM
#19:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Dolphins are violent, sadistic and sexually aggressive

They are one of the few animals on the Earth who are capable of rape, getting high and intentionally hurting other creatures just for amusement


I've seen a gif of that, but the "victim" was just a feed fish that had already been dead before the dolphin did its thing to the mouth of it. It was not just for the amusement of the dolphin though. It also seemed to amuse the onlookers at the aquarium.
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obeseexplosive
01/15/20 3:30:42 PM
#20:


ChrisTaka posted...
If prosthetic legs were her only disguise I probably deserved to end up with a dolphin.

She also wore glasses
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