Current Events > Taking gifts from men you aren't interested in

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Okay, I'm seeking opinions, humble or otherwise. I know what Miss Manners would say so I'm not asking her.

There's this man in my apt building. We started talking and since I love football, I watch it on the tv in the lobby. He joined me in doing so, gave me money for my birthday, drove me places. In the beginning, I told him I am not wanting a boyfriend for a Long time. I got out of a bad relationship, and there had to be something wrong with me to like the man who is my ex, so I am taking a long time to get my self esteem and respect together and see if I can expect correct treatment from someone I may someday be interested in.

So last week, he took me to a job interview and said what about dating him? I said, no, I told you I am taking a vacation from dating. So he got in a snit and hasn't spoken to me since. That's okay with me, but was I wrong to accept rides and money from him? I did not play him at all.
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Philoktetes posted...

I told him I am not wanting a boyfriend for a Long time.

Well there you go then. It's on him if he kept trying after the fact and gets upset when that hasn't changed.

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Nah dude (dudette?) you weren't in the wrong.
You made it clear. Some people would still do things just be nice but I think he just wanted in your pants

I have a question, when you said you weren't looking for a boyfriend, did he say he was interested in dating you?

I'd be really sad if that guy was me

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You have every right to not be his girlfriend, and if he's unhappy about it then he has every right to stop being a friend/acquaintance.

Only worry about it when he starts becoming a threat.

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Philoktetes posted...

but was I wrong to accept rides and money from him? I did not play him at all.

Those two things contradict each other. If you are not interested don't take anything from him, rides or money. Just politely refuse him.

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VictourieFlake posted...

Those two things contradict each other. If you are not interested don't take anything from him, rides or money. Just politely refuse him.

Dude, no.
I've given away money to plenty of people here without trying to get into their pants

Oldin posted...

I'd be really sad if that guy was me

You'd also be a fool to keep chasing after s girl who stated that she wasn't interested.

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Umbreon posted...

You'd also be a fool to keep chasing after s girl who stated that she wasn't interested.

TC also took gifts and money from him, so hey she did mislead him somewhat even after saying that she doesn't want a BF.

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squee posted...

Dude, no.
I've given away money to plenty of people here without trying to get into their pants

There is nothing with wrong giving gifts and money, but it is the intention of it that is wrong.

if you are not interested in a guy don't mislead him, he might think you are playing hard to get and accepting gifts and money is huge no sign after she told him she is not interested in finding a BF, while fully knowing he wants her.

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VictourieFlake posted...

TC also took gifts and money from him, so hey she did mislead him somewhat even after saying that she doesn't want a BF.

No, she didn't.

Accepting gifts is in no way an admission of interest. Unless the dude specifically said that he was only giving her the gift to go out with her, it's not "misleading" to accept.

If anything it's misleading to do something nice for someone "just because", with the hidden expectation to gain something from it.


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dude at this stage I'd just ignore whatever the fuck he says, he sounds like Orlando_Jordan

Some guys need to realize that just doing nice things isn't enough to get a woman to date you. Being nice is just being a decent human being. If he thought giving you rides when you don't have a car/giving gifts or money was gonna sway you, then that's on him.

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how do people not know TC's dumbass copy pasta gimmick

squee posted...

dude at this stage I'd just ignore whatever the fuck he says, he sounds like Orlando_Jordan

This
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Reis posted...

how do people not know TC's dumbass copy pasta gimmick

Eh. We all don't memorize every poster and their posting habits.

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Umbreon posted...

Eh. We all don't memorize every poster and their posting habits.

Yeah, I only know a couple gimmick posters from here.

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