Current Events > I'm real bad at messaging women I like, I fail so bad it gives me anxiety

(+) Yeah! (+)

;_;

Like I'm terrible 0 game. Here is what usually happens. I overthink myself like crazy so they will message something like.
"hey how are you today? That was nice etc. glad we could talk."

then i reply with something chill and simple and end it with an emoji or cool line.
Then a few minutes later I start panicking becausse maybe she doesn't get the line I used or the emoji wasn't a regular one.
So then I write a clarifying message like 20 minutes later after thinking about it and explain my message.
then like hours go by and I hear no reply and start freaking out anxiety like I just blew this relationship and then I'm crazy and legit text back something like sorry ifI'm annoying you.
Then I feel like that wasn't enough and then message like a sad emoji but then after that I realize I forgot to put a question mark on one of my last messages so I message again going "oh hey yeah that 3rd message was a question."

Then it hits me thhat a girl sent me 1 sentence 8 hours ago and I spammed her phone with like 10 messages with 0 replies over the course of the day... Usually they won't ever message me again and I do this daily with multiple people.

HHELP CE I got 0 text message game and panic so hard and overthink my messagess like crazy I hate. The anxiety and stresss it causes me no to live normally during the day because I'm constantly thinking of the message I will get or if I messed something up. FUCK!

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It sounds like you'll be much better off chatting in person where you can't over think or over analyse every word. Ask them out for a drink.

Just stop sending messages and be nervous on your own time. Your overthinking, maladaptive as it is, can't hurt you if you don't act on it. Once you get into the groove of talking normally, you'll have corroborative data points that show your regular, first message was fine and you didn't need to worry so much. I usually recommend practice, but in cases like this, putting less effort into it gives you more.

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ArchiePeck posted...

It sounds like you'll be much better off chatting in person where you can't over think or over analyse every word. Ask them out for a drink.

yeah I should just throw my phone away but everybody always ask to message me on it but I panic

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This is the worst part about messaging women because a lot of them don't get back to you right away, even if you think it's something important. Then I always think why isn't she responding? There's no fucking way she doesn't have her phone in her hands right this second. Did I say something wrong?

Never goes well if you think about it too much. Just one and done, you can't worry about it anymore after that. Maybe she gets back to you later that day or the next, maybe she doesn't. Just fire off a quick text and then live your life. Ball's in her court after that.

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If you send back to back texts like that always wait several hours and always completely change the subject. Holy shit I just saw this thing and it was wild, hope you're enjoying your day and then done.

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Ultima Dragon posted...

This is the worst part about messaging women because a lot of them don't get back to you right away, even if you think it's something important. Then I always think why isn't she responding? There's no fucking way she doesn't have her phone in her hands right this second. Did I say something wrong?

Never goes well if you think about it too much. Just one and done, you can't worry about it anymore after that. Maybe she gets back to you later that day or the next, maybe she doesn't. Just fire off a quick text and then live your life. Ball's in her court after that.

Yeah thats me 100% I really freak out because I think I messed up or worded something wrong when they don't message back. The thing that gets me after they don't reply for days or weeks is wow I really must have screwed that up.

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Ultima Dragon posted...

Never goes well if you think about it too much. Just one and done, you can't worry about it anymore after that. Maybe she gets back to you later that day or the next, maybe she doesn't. Just fire off a quick text and then live your life. Ball's in her court after that.

This, also I wouldn't get into the habit of blaming yourself if she doesn't respond. It's not necessarily your fault, or something you did, if she isn't interested in talking to you.

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