Current Events > Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me

(+) Yeah! (+)

Guess she fell out of love with me. I was starting to tell the last few months. Really sucks, I tried everything I could to be a good man for her too. She says she still loves me but not romantically and wants to be friends one day. I don't see that being possible for me, as least not this point in time, that shit hurts.

I dont really have anyone irl to talk to so venting here helps. How do you guys cope with a breakup?

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Alcohol

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Irony posted...

Alcohol

Not a bad idea. Cheers

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Pics?

Sounds like it went pretty smoothly all things considered.

Break ups suck and it doesn't matter who's "fault" it was.

I was watching the latest episode of Watchmen and Dr. Manhattan said something to the effect of "all relationships end in tragedy".

I'm sorry but there is always lots of personal growth that follows a break up.

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Thank god for videogames. Really puts a damper on suicide ideation.

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bossjony posted...

Pics?

Of me? Sure
Wii_Shaker posted...

Sounds like it went pretty smoothly all things considered.

Break ups suck and it doesn't matter who's "fault" it was.

I was watching the latest episode of Watchmen and Dr. Manhattan said something to the effect of "all relationships end in tragedy".

I'm sorry but there is always lots of personal growth that follows a break up.

That's a good way of looking at it. All things considered, she was decent enough to be honest to meand it's not like I found her cheating or anything.
I'll probably learn a lot from this

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Guide posted...

Thank god for videogames. Really puts a damper on suicide ideation.

Been playing borderlands and I just got the outer worlds. Looking forward to sinking my teeth into it, I loved new vegas.
Gaming will always have a place in my heart

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Well of you and your ex then I can judge to see if your better off or not

Guide posted...

Thank god for videogames

yep this or anything that would prevent the darkness from eating em alive :(.
we wish that one user got some form of help before he took his own life.
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Go to gym, eat healthy, wear nice clothes

No video games, no alcohol


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BobanMarjanovic posted...

Go to gym, eat healthy, wear nice clothes

No video games, no alcohol

How about in moderation?

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Sometimes these things happen, and there isn't anything you can do about it. It sucks, but that's life.

For breakups, you can do whatever but at the end of the day you just have to wait for it to stop hurting. And it will stop.

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Alcohol doesn't lend itself well to moderation unless you're already stable. You may be stable normally, but the breakup of a long term relationship is gonna mess with you for a while. It is.

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Was she hot?

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Go to gym, eat healthy, wear nice clothes

Also play video games, and drink alcohol

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Guerrilla Soldier posted...

Go to gym, eat healthy, wear nice clothes

Also play video games, and drink alcohol

Coincidentally my ex-girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago after a 4-year relationship. Gym, (mostly) healthy food, nice clothes, video games and alcohol are exactly how I'm coping. Lots of karaoke too (but that's just my personal hobby).

One major complication is that we currentlu still live in the same apartment. We both intent to move out and get a place of our own (since neither of us can afford that place on our own, plus living in that apartment in that neighbourhood comes with various downsides). Unfortunately, finding a new home is tough and expensive right now, so we're stuck together for the time being.

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Work on making yourself someone she'll look at and say "Damn, I fucked up." EDIT: Not because you expect her to take you back, but because you need the confidence boost, from you and other people. Plus that'll bring up plenty of ways to keep you busy. That's a big one.

As far as dating goes, just have a bunch of unsuccessful dates and see that failure is part of the game, you're more likely to fuck up a relationship than find "the one". She's no different than most girls, sadly. Incompatibility is common, don't get yourself too down over it.

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F

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Ugh. The old I still want to keep you on retainer. excuse. She has no right to a friendship with you. Cut her off completely. I know this sucks dude. Youll grow stronger from it, though. And now you hopefully have a better frame of reference for traits you dont want in a lover.

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Don't blame yourself for the breakup, sounds like you were as good of a man as you could be for her. Sometimes people just grow apart, their priorities or what they want out of life change, etc. Sometimes people are just fickle and get hit with a major case of "grass is greener.." syndrome from time to time. It happens, you know? The only thing you can really do is take it in stride, take whatever positives you can from the situation and don't let yourself spiral in the coming months.

Now is a good time to dive into whatever hobbies you've had sitting on the back burner recently. Take some time to work on yourself, improve whatever areas of your life you feel are lacking. Try to keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends and family, don't stay cooped up inside alone if you can help it. It's going to hurt like hell for a while, but it'll get easier with time. I don't necessarily suggest going on the rebound right away, but when you do find a girl you're interested in and start hitting it off with her, it definitely makes getting over any past heartache a good deal faster.

Oh yeah, this last one depends on you as a person mostly but I'd avoid your ex at all costs. They always want to try being friends or whatever, but it's not really healthy for the guy who is usually the "loser" of the breakup. I'd especially be wary when you get blindsided by it (IE: relationship seemed all good until very recently). If you make the mistake of hitting up her social media accounts you'll likely be seeing shit you wish you didn't, so just try to rip off this bandaid as quickly and cleanly as you can and move onto the next stage of your life.

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WTF @ the alcohol suggestions....

I recommend video games (multiplayer or not), weed if that's your thing, reaching out to male friends, and also just overall improving your life in some way possible. Maybe you want a different career, new location, a fresh start, etc.

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Jagr_68 posted...

Maybe you want a different career, new location, a fresh start, etc.

true freedom ending is always an option.
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When I was younger I used video games to deal with the heart ache now days I'd need something stronger.

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A lot of very strong comments and great advice here. Too many to quote and say one by one.

Im going to keep focusing on playing and writing guitar/music and working out and be the best me I can be.

Appreciate it wholeheartedly guys

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pics of you

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Sounds like where I was 5 years ago.

Sorry man, the hard truth is time. Time fixes all emotional wounds. I know it sounds cliche but you just need to try and focus on yourself and bettering yourself

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