Current Events > I've been single for 7 years and might pass up on potential gf - part 2

(+) Yeah! (+)

Background:
I'm almost 26 and haven't had a girlfriend or any sexual activity since high school. I'm about a 6-8 in looks depending on who you ask and about a 3 in the self confidence and social experience department (which has improved since about a year ago).

My friend works at a restaurant and I came up to see him a few weeks ago. Apparently there was a girl he works with who saw me and thought I was really cute (I didn't know for sure who he was talking about). My friend gave her my number and so we started texting for a few weeks. We really hit it off and there was a strong connection. I made a topic on CE where I was debating whether I really wanted her or not though because she was "unspectacular" but I was really just having a panic breakdown about asking her out and making excuses.

Now:
I pulled the trigger and went on the date with her on Friday...and I really wish I hadn't.

We hit it off REALLY well, she has a cute face and a great personality. We went for food where we sat and talked for 3 hours, and then we went for ice cream and talked for 2 more hours.

But I got catfished hard. Her body is completely disgusting. I've been with bigger girls before, and they didn't carry it too well either mind you, but this girl's body physically repulsed me. She was maybe 5'6" 220 which on paper is fine for me, but dear god she carried it like an amorphous blob. She had twiggy legs and looked like a mutated ice cream cone. She is active and is working on it (I don't know how seriously) but she's got a long way to go and I'm not going to bet on what I'm getting 6 months from now if I decide to stay.

And now I'm torn to shreds inside from having to make this decision. This girl is so genuinely nice, smart, and laid back, we have a very strong connection, and her face is really cute. She knows we have something. But now I have to be the shallow asshole and throw all of this away because I don't find her body attractive. Oh god how I'm eating my words from before. I would have been lucky to have "unspectacular".

We texted a little bit after the date and a little the next day. Completely silent since then. She can sense my distancing, and my friend tells me she thinks I'm just "pity dating" her.

I hate dating for this very reason. I cannot emotionally handle this kind of shit.

I was okay with being alone. I had truly accepted it and moved on. And then this wedged itself into my life with almost comedic timing.

How did you talk to someone for five straight hours despite being physically repulsed by them
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PatrickMahomes posted...

How did you talk to someone for five straight hours despite being physically repulsed by them

I'm lonely, dude.

I have extremely mixed emotions about her. We click so well and she still has a pretty face.

And maybe I'm a little narcissistic. I have always had a thing for girls who are extremely into me on its own merit.

Tell her that you're not physically attracted to her but you feel a real connection with her and see what happens.
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I'm about a 6-8 in looks depending on who you ask

Lmao bro we saw the picture you posted in the Snapchat filter topic and theres no way youre more than a 4 or 5. That is unless you have an incredible body to compensate for that mug since it was just a face pic in all fairness.

Friendzone her. If women can do it men should also be able to do it.

But since you haven't gotten laid for awhile maybe see if you can be friends with benefits even if shes ugly.

ZeroKelvin posted...

I'm about a 6-8 in looks depending on who you ask

Lmao bro we saw the picture you posted in the Snapchat filter topic and theres no way youre more than a 4 or 5. That is unless you have an incredible body to compensate for that mug since it was just a face pic in all fairness.

*shrug* I'm pretty confident in my assessment.

Body-wise I'm skinny, 5'9", but fit. That's definitely the more polarizing trait.

so what does tc look like
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6-8 in looks and youre considering f******* mini jabba the hut?

Somethings wrong here

alimajor posted...

6-8 in looks and youre considering f******* mini jabba the hut?

Somethings wrong here

I've only ever been with women way below my league.

Or maybe this is my league because I'm such a pussy.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

ZeroKelvin posted...

I'm about a 6-8 in looks depending on who you ask

Lmao bro we saw the picture you posted in the Snapchat filter topic and theres no way youre more than a 4 or 5. That is unless you have an incredible body to compensate for that mug since it was just a face pic in all fairness.

*shrug* I'm pretty confident in my assessment.

Body-wise I'm skinny, 5'9", but fit. That's definitely the more polarizing trait.

Yeah but if youre ugly with no confidence or swagger that aint getting you nowhere. Obviously youre not that down on yourself if you think youre above her with your rating.

I have never dated anyone that ever weighed more than 115 at their heaviest. I would easily date higher but never 220 thats just my opinion. In your case honestly it doesnt like you have a choice. Choice between loneliness or a fatty that could lose the weight
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FRIEND ZONE HER!!!

Like you said youre lonely and she makes good convo which can be hard to find. I myself am in the same boar of being alone and not having a partner after my divorce. Imo if she cant be just friends with you thats her problem. You shouldnt feel you need to make this a sexual relationship and just friendzone her and let her make the move to no longer speak to you once sex is off the table
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Smash and dash
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Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.
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Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark
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Blue_Inigo posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark

Idk about you but my sense of smell works in the light N dark
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Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark

Idk about you but my sense of smell works in the light N dark

She didn't smell.

Fat people don't smell just by virtue of being fat.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark

Idk about you but my sense of smell works in the light N dark

She didn't smell.

Fat people don't smell just by virtue of being fat.

Wait till the cloths come off and those rolls are free after being pressed and folded all day!
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Nintendo415 posted...

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark

Idk about you but my sense of smell works in the light N dark

She didn't smell.

Fat people don't smell just by virtue of being fat.

Wait till the cloths come off and those rolls are free after being pressed and folded all day!

I've been with "rolls and folds" girls, nah.

Nintendo415 posted...

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Nintendo415 posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Smash and dash

Why would he smash a Melted Ice cream cone? I bet from the smell Alone, once the pants are off he would throw up all over.

He'll be fine in the dark

Idk about you but my sense of smell works in the light N dark

She didn't smell.

Fat people don't smell just by virtue of being fat.

Wait till the cloths come off and those rolls are free after being pressed and folded all day!

In my experience, guys that parrot this one of bullshit don't actually have experience interacting with an IRL woman.

Just sayin.
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Ghost her.
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a_riot04 posted...

Ghost her.

That's what I've been doing and what I'm planning on. But it still sucks not giving her closure to move on.

Also I can pretty much never go to that restaurant again. My friend is in a management position there and I hope he doesn't do anything stupid.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

5'9

Nice lol
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Also, ghosting is a dick move. Be an adult for your own sake. Talk it out and be 100% honest.
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You know what's going to happen now right? You will see her again for the first time in six months and she is going to be skinny and super hot. Then you will feel like a dumbass for not staying with her.
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Gamerguymass posted...

You know what's going to happen now right? You will see her again for the first time in six months and she is going to be skinny and super hot. Then you will feel like a dumbass for not staying with her.

Doubt it.

She's really into food. Her dream was to become a pastry chef and her major hobby is cooking.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

a_riot04 posted...

Ghost her.

That's what I've been doing and what I'm planning on. But it still sucks not giving her closure to move on.

Also I can pretty much never go to that restaurant again. My friend is in a management position there and I hope he doesn't do anything stupid.

I was kidding. I believe in karma. And ghosting can negatively affect your image on friends and they may get reluctant sending girls your way in the future.

Be a gent and tell her, face to face.
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Gobstoppers12 posted...

Also, ghosting is a dick move. Be an adult for your own sake. Talk it out and be 100% honest.

Yeah just tell her you think you'd be better as friends. Ghosting is what children do... don't go that route, especially if you're saying you had a really good connection and talked to her for 5(!!!) hours even though you weren't attracted to her.
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Gamerguymass posted...

You know what's going to happen now right? You will see her again for the first time in six months and she is going to be skinny and super hot. Then you will feel like a dumbass for not staying with her.

Doubt it.

She's really into food. Her dream was to become a pastry chef and her major hobby is cooking.

If she gives good blowjobs then marry her.

As they say, the best way to keep a man happy is to keep his stomach full and his balls empty.
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I really don't trust CE on this one.

I don't think it's a good idea to tell someone they're unattractive, especially not to their face.

yea, don't tell her you don't think she's attractive.
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You describe yourself as 6-8 in looks, but you seem very very ugly on the inside.

RoboLaserGandhi posted...

PatrickMahomes posted...

How did you talk to someone for five straight hours despite being physically repulsed by them

I'm lonely, dude.

you don't have to get a gf to stop feeling lonely. you have more options than date or ghost.
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Ghosting is also what adults do. It's how the world works. She'll be fine. She's a grown ass woman not a delicate flower.

With that said, she should also be able to handle a friendship. It's fine to tell her that's what you want too. You dont have to date or ghost every woman that you have any kind of connection to. You have other options.
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Jiek_Fafn posted...

Ghosting is also what adults do.

it's literally the opposite
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I really don't trust CE on this one.

I don't think it's a good idea to ever tell someone they're unattractive, especially not to their face.

Yeah? No shit man. You shouldn't trust CE on most things, especially relating to relationships or potential relationships lmao
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i can believe that you're lonely enough to have spoken to her that much, even though you didn't find her attractive. i feel that you enjoyed the experience of dating and having another woman liking you, rather than you liking her.

and from this i'm getting the vibe that you do want a gf, and have to face up to your anxiety and excuse-making when meeting girls
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I really don't trust CE on this one.

I don't think it's a good idea to ever tell someone they're unattractive, especially not to their face.

lol. Yeah, don't tell her that. Just the part that you can only be friends. I thought that was given but well, yeah. Obviously its almost always not a good idea to tell somebody their fugly. That's one good reason to expect a smack in the face.
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

I really don't trust CE on this one.

I don't think it's a good idea to ever tell someone they're unattractive, especially not to their face.

Dude no one is saying he has to straight up tell her she's unattractive... but the alternative is essentially this:

"Hey CE, I went on a date with a girl who presented herself as something she's not, and now I feel obligated to date her"

Like... what?! No no no, he's fine feeling bad about it, as most of us would, especially if he says he had a connection with her... but feeling like he has to 'follow through' and date her even though he's not attracted to her?

There's no problem with saying "hey I feel like we had a great time, and I think we'd make great friends... I just wanted to say that because I don't think there's a romantic future for us" She'll obviously ask why, to which he can simply say "I just think we make better friends" or "there's no spark"... there are thousands of reasons he could say that don't involve "you're ugly".

Doesn't mean it'll be easy... but when you tell the truth, what happens is good, no matter what happens.
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Fuck it. She texted back just now, and is assuming nothing out of the ordinary. I'm going back in.

I am weak.

Parappa09 posted...

i can believe that you're lonely enough to have spoken to her that much, even though you didn't find her attractive. i feel that you enjoyed the experience of dating and having another woman liking you, rather than you liking her.

and from this i'm getting the vibe that you do want a gf, and have to face up to your anxiety and excuse-making when meeting girls

Yeah :\

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and make a move on a girl I actually like at some point instead of waiting for life to throw them into my lap, because the ones that fall into my lap are liable to break my pelvis.

im picturing that she has that spongbob shape going on.... ugh
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RoboLaserGandhi posted...

Yeah :\

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and make a move on a girl I actually like at some point instead of waiting for life to throw them into my lap, because the ones that fall into my lap are liable to break my pelvis.

and honestly dude you have nothing to lose putting yourself out there

yeah if you get rejected then it will hurt, but it's way better than the situation you've been in for the past few years when you've been repressing your sexual and romantic feelings
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also you can't really work on your natural looks but you can definitely work on confidence and personality, and with more experience, you'll get to chad levels (for lack of a better term)
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why is it always the far right people on CE who literally cannot interact with women and call others soyboys or w/e

Malfunction posted...

why is it always the far right people on CE who literally cannot interact with women and call others soyboys or w/e

The venn diagram for the alt right and incels would be interesting to see.

Chub doesn't bother me. Poorly proportioned chub? That's just unfortunate.

Does her body look like this, except a chick?



Which one of these would she fall under?



From your description I'm going to guess top row, second from the right.
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Tell her you're looking to get in really good shape, and ask if she would like to do it together. Go to the gym together, watch nutrition videos on Youtube. You can be a normal weight in a few months with consistency. If she isnt into it, then sure, just be friends. But I'd give her the chance first.
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tell her youre into dudes
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