Current Events > ITT: Your Birthday Determines Your WWE Opponent. (Image Warning)

(+) Yeah! (+)

1st: John Cena


2nd Kofi Kingston


3rd: The New Daniel Bryan


4th: Sami Zayn and Shane McMahon


5th: Cesaro


6th: Sheamus:


7th: Carmella


8th: Jinder Mahal


9th: Bray Wyatt


10th: The Kabuki Warriors


11th: This guy


12th Finn Balor


13th: Brock Lesnar


14th: Referee Mike Chioda


15th Elias


16th Bobby Lashley


17th Sputnik Monroe


18th Vevleteen Dream


19th Naomi


20th Seth Rollins


21st Kevin Owens


22nd Tony Nese


23rd: Mandy Rose


24th The Usos


25th Johnny Gargano


26th Roman Reigns


27th Lacey Evans


28th: Becky Lynch


29th: Randy Orton
<cite>WWEPropaganda posted [p:922178230] in ITT: Your ... [t:77730248]...</cite> <quote>1st: John Cena 2nd Kofi Kingston 3rd: The New Daniel Bryan 4th: Sami Zayn and Shane McMahon 5th: Cesaro 6th: Sheamus: 7th: Carmella 8th: Jinder Mahal 9th: Bray Wyatt 10th: The Kabuki Warriors 11th: This guy 12th Finn Balor 13th: Brock Lesnar 14th: Referee Mike Chioda 15th Elias 16th Bobby Lashley 17th Sputnik Monroe 18th Vevleteen Dream 19th Naomi 20th Seth Rollins 21st Kevin Owens 22nd Tony Nese 23rd: Mandy Rose 24th The Usos 25th Johnny Gargano 26th Roman Reigns 27th Lacey Evans 28th: Becky Lynch 29th: Randy Orton </quote>

... Copied to Clipboard!

Vs. Elias in a 60 Minute Iron Man match at Tribute to the Troops
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I thought I was gonna fight Finn Balor. Maybe I had a chance.

Then I found out it's a posting contest. :(

And in Iraq I dont think it will go over well.
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v Cesaro in a singles match on SmackDown Live. Sounds comfy.
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Elias, in a tables match, at Wrestlemania.
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JlM posted...

I thought I was gonna fight Finn Balor. Maybe I had a chance.

Then I found out it's a posting contest. :(

And in Iraq I dont think it will go over well.

Yeah, I got Becky Lynch in a posing contest at Tribute for the Troops.
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Tables Match with Mike Chioda at the FireFly Fun House
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The Kabuki Warriors in a Hair v.s Hair match at WrestleMania. Seem a mite unfair since unless I get a partner it'll be a handicap match. Least I look alright bald.
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Vs Mike Chioda in a leather-strap match on Raw. No idea what a leather-strap match is.
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vs DB in a beer drinking contest at Mania?

Pfft, he's toast.
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Vs Mike Chioda in a posing contest on NXT.
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60 minute Iron Man match against Johnny Gargano at WM.

Well, fuck.
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me vs the modern day maharaja in a leather strap match at wrestlemania

i got dis
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Vs. Sputnik Monroe in a 2 out of 3 Falls Match in Vince's lovely mansion

1) ...Who?
2) ...Do I get to fight this guy in his current state? That picture's in black-and-white and from the 50s, he's gotta be dead now, right? I can pin his coffin two times if I have to
3) Oooh, Vince's house, huh? Gonna take pictures
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vs. Seth Rollins in a Hell In A Cell match at the United Nations Headquarters.


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Jiggy101011 posted...

Vs Mike Chioda in a leather-strap match on Raw. No idea what a leather-strap match is.

A leather strap match is one of the most brutal, sadistic and dangerous matches in WWE history. Two gladiators are literally tethered together by the wrist by less than 10 feet of unforgiving reinforced leather.



Removing any chance of escape or freedom and forcing both superstars to furiously physically battle each other until one competitor has suffered so much pain and endured so much devastation that they are rendered incapacitated long enough for the other to touch all four corners of the ring.

No Pinfalls, No Submissions, No Disqualifications. Just two superstars literally teathered together until one is so utterly devistated that they cannot stand anymore and get dragged aound the floor like a sack of potatoes



It's widely considered to be one of the most grueling matches there can be and you gotta believe any man who steps into one, will never walk out the same way again.

Just take a look at the track record of Victims in Leather Strap Matches.

Tazz was defeated by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry The King Lawler and was beaten so badly that it shortened his career, forcing The Human Suplex Machine into early retirement.



Mark Henry battled Sheamus in an absolute war and you gotta believe both men ended up casualties. Just look at Sheamus' battered and broken body:



And take a look at what happened to Mark Henry:



All his hair fell out
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Carmella in a Hell in a Cell match...
........at a house show...
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John Cena in a Hair v.s Hair match at The United Nations Headquarters!

Not sure what that match type is but will I even be able to see John Cena?
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Sputnik Monroe in a beer drinking contest at my cousin's garage is gonna be a great time no matter who wins. As an alcohol enthusiast I've got a good shot and he only had a solid 30 lbs on me for size difference.
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A beer drinking contest against the entire WWE roster at Tribute to the Troops in Iraq.

I dont even drink. What the hell...?
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TheY2AProblem posted...

A beer drinking contest against the entire WWE roster at Tribute to the Troops in Iraq.

I dont even drink. What the hell...?

That might be expensive since Iraq has a 200% tax on alcohol lol
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Vs Vevleteen Dream in a Verbal Debate at Wrestlemania!

Huh. Sounds tricky.
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Triple H in a 60 Minute Ironman match at WWE Chairman Vince McMahon's billion dollar mansion

wtf did I do

xsouljah posted...

Sputnik Monroe in a beer drinking contest at my cousin's garage

This except at a Tribute to the Troops
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Seth Rollins in a Ladder Match at Firefly Fun House.

I had to Google Firefly Fun House to have any sort of idea as to what that was.
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Master_Bass posted...

ohn Cena in a Hair v.s Hair match at The United Nations Headquarters!

Not sure what that match type is

Hair vs Hair matches are one of the most humiliating matches in WWE history, were two warriors not only want to fight each other but permanently mark the the loser by shaving all their hair off. Completely violating them and leaving them a constant reminder of their loss, inferiority and failure every time they look in a mirror.

CM Punk had his head shaved and was forced to retire soon afterwards, he hasn't been seen since:



Molly Holly had her head shaved on the grandest stage of them all, Wrestlemania in front of all her family and millions watching worldwide.



The International Superstar from France Marcus Louis lost his mind the moment he lost his hair and shortly afterwards quit wrestling. He's not been seen since.



Kurt Angle was turned from being an Olympic Hero promoting milk an vitamins to a vicious wrestling machine who broke everything in his path for a decade after Edge shaved his pride away along with all his hair.



Now you gotta believe there's no shame in losing to John Cena, but every time you look in the mirror, every time you girlfriend sees you. The ONLY thing on your mind is going to remembering that John Cena took you to the woodshed and whipped you like a government mule for the rest of your life

IT's absolutely debilitating. Reaffirming your status as a second order man.
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Lacey Evans. Ladder Match. Tribute to the Troops.

Interesting.
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

Not saying the date but

The dude does of heat exhaustion before I could beat the shit out of him anyway.

Put it together and you might be able to figure out the date.

11th of July 2005.

You got the mascot suit guy in an inferno match in Iraq
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