Current Events > You know what I hate? software companies and their vague-ass websites

(+) Yeah! (+)

I get calls from these companies all the time and I end up going to their websites to figure out exactly what it is they're trying to sell. Whole lot of this shit

- custom software solutions
- integration
- business intelligence
- analytics
- implementation and deployment
- wide range of industrial and commerical experience

Ok admit it, you're just a bunch of nerds in a shack and you'll do any old work so long as it involves github
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Yeah they might as well say we do stuff

The worst is ones that make deliberately vague statements about their softwares' features, to provoke you into contacting them so that they can keep pestering you to buy.

Not so common with consumer software, but it's a bit more common with business software. We recently rejected a product that looked fairly good because the company behind it pulled that kind of crap.
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Spam_n_eggs posted...

Yeah they might as well say we do stuff

I quite literally would jump at a company that was direct to the point of blunt at this point.

Like instead of all that guff if it went:

- sometimes people ask us to build stuff using code like databases or websites or apps and stuff. We can do that. We have programmers that can do all kinds of stuff from software to hardware in various languages.
- Like if you have one piece of software and another piece of software and you want them to work together, we can probably figure out how to merge those two things so that they talk to each other
- This one time a company asked us why they were losing money so we put in this time tracker system that showed exactly how much time they were spending on calls and projects. Pretty cool.
- Databases are complicated and we can do databases. We can make them, fix them, merge them, export them.
- Basically we'll take any gig if it involves a computer and some nerd shit please employ us
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pinky0926 posted...

Spam_n_eggs posted...

Yeah they might as well say we do stuff

I quite literally would jump at a company that was direct to the point of blunt at this point.

Like instead of all that guff if it went:

- sometimes people ask us to build stuff using code like databases or websites or apps and stuff. We can do that. We have programmers that can do all kinds of stuff from software to hardware in various languages.
- Like if you have one piece of software and another piece of software and you want them to work together, we can probably figure out how to merge those two things so that they talk to each other
- This one time a company asked us why they were losing money so we put in this time tracker system that showed exactly how much time they were spending on calls and projects. Pretty cool.
- Databases are complicated and we can do databases. We can make them, fix them, merge them, export them.
- Basically we'll take any gig if it involves a computer and some nerd shit please employ us

Me too.

Also, if they said we are 3 guys working from a garage I would respect them more than if they have a lameass website that tries to look like accentures

pinky0926 posted...

Spam_n_eggs posted...

Yeah they might as well say we do stuff

I quite literally would jump at a company that was direct to the point of blunt at this point.

Like instead of all that guff if it went:

- sometimes people ask us to build stuff using code like databases or websites or apps and stuff. We can do that. We have programmers that can do all kinds of stuff from software to hardware in various languages.
- Like if you have one piece of software and another piece of software and you want them to work together, we can probably figure out how to merge those two things so that they talk to each other
- This one time a company asked us why they were losing money so we put in this time tracker system that showed exactly how much time they were spending on calls and projects. Pretty cool.
- Databases are complicated and we can do databases. We can make them, fix them, merge them, export them.
- Basically we'll take any gig if it involves a computer and some nerd shit please employ us

This sounds exactly like what I'd expect to hear if Trump ran an IT company.
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NotWhiteNinja posted...

This sounds exactly like what I'd expect to hear if Trump ran an IT company.

The best people

Spam_n_eggs posted...

Me too.

Also, if they said we are 3 guys working from a garage I would respect them more than if they have a lameass website that tries to look like accentures

"Let me direct you to our sales office"
*puts you on hold while he finds out if his buddy is working from home today*
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not going to advertise my website, but if anyone needs seo under no rank no pay, consider me

i only do what i can, i do not give fake info, i do not know p of programming and only make basic html5 websites

although i have experience with bigcommerce, shopify and wordpress and volusion
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Custom software solutions = they will build you a web app or automate some stuff

Integration = their thing will work well with your thing

Business intelligence = reporting

Analytics = reading reports and thinking hard about them

Implementation and deployment = we will set it all up for you

Wide range of experience = they have other customers

Not that hard broski
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most of the terms like UX for design is simply gimmick in the name of charging extra for the same thing called web design, fools will get fooled by these scammers
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Rika_Furude posted...

Custom software solutions = they will build you a web app or automate some stuff

Integration = their thing will work well with your thing

Business intelligence = reporting

Analytics = reading reports and thinking hard about them

Implementation and deployment = we will set it all up for you

Wide range of experience = they have other customers

Not that hard broski

The subtext here is not that I can't work that out (if you read post #4 you would have worked that out too), it's that I get annoyed by the vague and unhelpful copy.

Often these companies keep it as vague as possible and it takes a number of sales calls to figure out actually what their product is and what they specialise in. They never want to tell you upfront, and that is irritating.
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pinky0926 posted...

Often these companies keep it as vague as possible and it takes a number of sales calls to figure out actually what their product is and what they specialise in. They never want to tell you upfront, and that is irritating.

As I mentioned, it's because they want to have contact with you, so they can pester you to buy their product. They can't do that if you can just get the information off their website without them so much as knowing you exist.
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I hate websites in general. I was gonna say bad websites but that's pretty much redundant.

Oh look the option to search by color shows up or disappears depending on the window's resolution this week. Even though it's listed vertically.

Oh look there are 30 input fields on this page and they literally refresh the page every time you adjust one, even when you have javascript enabled.

Hey I finally found the event schedule. It was under "Careers."
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