Current Events > My dad is about to die, CE

(+) Yeah! (+)

He's had a history of pancreatitis and kidney problems. We brought him into the hospital last week for blood clots in his arm and neck, and then we learned a couple days ago that he has cirrhosis as well. In combination with those other problems, it's just too much for his body to handle.

They're giving him anywhere from a day to a week or so to live. I'm just numb right now, I don't really know how to react.
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Im really sorry man. Speaking as someone who has severe kidney problems myself and have a limited life expectancy because of it, theres nothing you can do. Were powerless in these situations, the only choice you have here is to spend the remaining time your dad has with him, tell him anything that you felt you could never tell him, its now or never.
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Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry man. :( That's so fucked up and sad. Hang in there TC. :(
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I'm sorry to gear that. *sends an e-hug*
Be sure to spend time with him if you can.
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liver failure is a bitch, my dad went that way too. TC do yourself a favor and spend as much time as possible with him.
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I'm in his hospital room with my mom and my brother. We'll be here until it's over.
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sorry, man...
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Its hard to lose a family member you love, just remember all the good times you had with him and be with him at the end.
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Sorry to hear that.
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That's awful man. My condolences.
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Sorry to hear that. I've also had some family in the hospital recently. It sucks to see them just laying there completely helpless just waiting for death.
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May you find serenity, strength, acceptance, and understanding through these trying times my friend. I'm very sorry to hear this.

I almost don't even want to mention this because I know your focus is on your dad, but remember to take care of yourself as you mourn your loss. I lost both my parents at young ages, and I found myself trying to cope in some very unhealthy ways. I'm sure you've got a better head on your shoulders than me, but I always feel it's best to give people a friendly reminder so that they can learn from my mistakes.

im really sorry to hear that man :(

its terrible that its all come about at once, and all of a sudden. im sending my best to you and your family
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Im so sorry TC :(
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Thats horrible man. Please get off ce and spend it with your dad
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I lost mine unexpectedly last year, and I lost my brother about 5 years ago. I've dealt with a lot of the pain from family loss and I always have an open door if you need someone to talk to, even though we don't really know each other very well here. I'll keep checking in on this thread, and others you might post up in the future. I'll add you as a friend if that's cool so I can track it a bit better.
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My sympathies. One of my uncles just passed away, and I've lost several other relatives to disease.
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If he's coherent, or even if he's not, tell him you love him and not to worry about the family.

Keep strong and be there for him.
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Yeah this stuff sucks. From what you've said it sounds like there aren't really options to reverse anything that's going on.

Make sure whatever palliative care/hospice team that is available has been involved. Ask the doctors about it if they haven't brought it up. Those sort of teams can make a huge difference through this process for your dad as well as you and your family.

Keep your energy and physical needs met, and try to avoid framing his situation as a "battle." His body is just reaching it's end.
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That sucks. Hope you and your family will be okay.
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Sorry to hear that; my condolences and sympathies.

It's over now. He passed away about a half hour ago. He wasn't coherent for most of the day, but I was there by his bedside for 14 hours straight and my mother and I were holding his hand when the end came. He passed in his sleep, with no pain.

Thank you, everyone, for your condolences. It means a lot.
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RIP to your dad.

at least he was surrounded by those he loved; it's the best anyone can hope for.
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BettyB0op08 posted...

boxington posted...

RIP to your dad.

at least he was surrounded by those he loved; it's the best anyone can hope for.

This. He died with his loved ones holding his hand. My best of wishes to you and your family.

I'm going to use this opportunity to apologize for all the complaining I've done about the topic bumping. It seems like such a stupid thing to get upset by in retrospect.
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I'm so sorry, my condolences
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LiqiudusSnake posted...

Thats horrible man. Please get off ce and spend it with your dad

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I'm sorry, mate.
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My condolences. It really is good to hear that he was surrounded by loved ones, a person can't ask for more than that.
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I'm sorry. You did good though. Stay strong.
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I'm sorry about this TC. I hope you find a way through this tough time.
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Sorry for your loss TC. Please do your best to keep your head up and keep moving forward.
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My condolences. I've been there. I never know quite what advice to give. It always just sounds so heartless and clinical when I type it.
Say what you need to say to him. Even if he slips into a coma which is what happened to my dad eventually. Sit with him. Talk to him. Even if he doesn't respond. If he's awake ask him anything you feel like you need to ask him.

Are they sending him home, a facility or keeping him? If there's nothing left they can do be prepared the hospital may want to get him out of there. Dealt with that.
Know that on top of all that's happening to him in that environment there's a high chance he gets pneumonia and that ends up getting him before anything else. Dealt with that one too.

If he slips into a coma because they often do as the body is shutting down in the hours/days preceding death then just stay. I always heard it growing up and then experienced it myself eventually twice. It may sound odd. But you'll know before the doctors do when the time is getting close when their breathing changes in the hours before. It becomes shallow. You'll notice it.
If it goes the other way and he's lucid and awake all the way to the end then just brace yourself. It could be still peaceful but other times some people don't go peacefully.
Just stay strong. You'll be surprised what you can take. If anything that's the one thing I found out about myself going through his exact thing. You think you'll fall apart and not be able to handle it. But somehow you do, you will. You'll fall apart later.

I'm sorry if all that reads poorly or negatively. But that's the best advice I can think of having gone through it.
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theres few people that i genuinely feel for on this board, so i hope youre doing well TC

my dad passed away on my 18th birthday suddenly, so ive been in a similar position
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Parappa09 posted...

theres few people that i genuinely feel for on this board, so i hope youre doing well TC

my dad passed away on my 18th birthday suddenly, so ive been in a similar position

Thanks, man. I'm so sorry about your dad.

This was pretty sudden too. He had pneumonia earlier in the month, but it wasn't severe. We thought his blood clots were the main issue, and then we could start addressing his kidney problems after he was released. Then while he was in the hospital, they noticed his liver was in pretty bad shape. They diagnosed him with cirrhosis, a doctor pulled us into another room to give us the prognosis, and twelve hours later he was dead.

I still don't really know how to feel. We loved each other dearly, and I don't feel like I'm grieving as much as I should be. I just don't know if it's quite sunk in yet.
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Really sorry to hear this man. But it's good that you were all with him

UnholyMudcrab posted...

I still don't really know how to feel. We loved each other dearly, and I don't feel like I'm grieving as much as I should be. I just don't know if it's quite sunk in yet.

That's normal, I wouldn't dwell too much on it. Took many years for me
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So sorry to hear this, it sucks, but at least he went with his family by his side.

Everyone grieves differently, just find your own way. Don't worry about if you're grieving right, just be there with your family.

UnholyMudcrab posted...

I'm in his hospital room with my mom and my brother. We'll be here until it's over.

Its good that you are there for each other. Losing a loved one... well, it sucks really bad. The memories of all the good times you had with your father are even more precious now.
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My deepest sympathies.
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