Current Events > My dog just winked at me. What could it mean?

(+) Yeah! (+)

It means surprise seconds game!

You trip and hit your head, losing consciousness. Upon waking up in the hospital, you've noticed something different about you. If the outcome your roll is something that already applies to you, then you don't wake up, and instead just die of a traumatic brain injury.

00: You can now only speak using Japanese, but hitting your head didn't teach you any Japanese.
01: You're a furry now, can only date other furries, and the only porn you enjoy is furry porn.
02: Whenever you are sexually aroused, your right arm violently trembles, punching and swatting everything in your immediate vicinity.
03: You have perfect absolute pitch, but only when listening to hip-hop.
04: You will become extremely depressed any time you go more than 12 hours without playing Undertale for at least thirty minutes.
05: You become obsessed with the idea that colorful fruit has been painted to look colorful, and that natural fruit is actually rather bland in apppearance. You will tell this fun fact to anyone you hear discussing fruit.
06: You cannot pass through a doorway without walking backwards. You will feel extreme anxiety if you walk forwards through a doorway without also walking backwards.
07: To you, everyone appears to have the face of a dog. It's always The Doge, making you effectively face blind.
08: You can never wear a shirt or tie during a job interview. The only thing you can wear on your torso during a job interview is either an unbuttoned suit jacket or a hoodie.
09: Wherever you are, you will always try to be aware of the closest lion. If you don't see the lion at least once a month, you will become extremely anxious.
10: Something about your hormones becomes messed up, causing dogs who smell you to always assume you intend to attack them.
11: You will try to live in a house with a basement. You will then add a swimming pool to the basement of that house if there isn't already one. You will feel extreme anxiety for the rest of your life if you don't accomplish this goal within ten years.
12: You will devote 80% of all of your free time to playing piano. Any time you ever play piano, you can only play in the key of A flat locrian. You will feel extreme anxiety if you don't have access to a piano or musical keyboard.
13: You will blow in to a pocket breathalyzer before using any car, electronic device, wallet, furniture with drawers, or door. If asked, you will say that it is a legal requirement. You will feel extreme anxiety whenever you are not in possession of a pocket breathalyzer.
14: Electric shocks feel pleasurable to you. The amount of pleasure felt directly correlates with the strength of the electric shock, with no limit.
15: You will feel compelled to record any police officer you see in person while walking. If you are able to walk to the police officer, you must always do so, and then greet the officer while recording them.
16: In any place where you know a dog has died, you will always hear/feel a loud 31hz sine tone. For each additional dog you know has died in that area, an additional tone, a major third higher than the last tone, plays at the same time. Places of presumed mass doggy death such as veterinary clinics sound impossibly loud.
17: Any time you look directly at a human, there is a 0.01% chance you will believe that they are a ghost, feel terrified, and then realize two minutes later that they are not a ghost.
18: The last video game you played is now the only video game you will ever play.
19: You no longer feel any empathy towards living things, nor any sense of shame for your own actions.
20: You grow visibly sick at the sight of an American flag, and will go out of your way to avoid seeing one.
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21: The only job you will ever attempt to hold is creating Elsagate style videos that exploit recommendation algorithms to get views from children.
22: With every new non-work acquaintance of the same sex you make, you will attempt to make at least one joke about you performing oral sex on them within 30 seconds of you meeting them. If you try to break contact with them within those 30 seconds, you will just blurt it out loud before leaving.
23: You are incapable of making a post on the GameFAQs message boards without calling for the extermination of a minority group. You must post on the GameFAQs message boards at least twice a day.
24: You cry whenever you hear a song in the key of A flat major.
25: You must write at least four paragraphs of hate mail, tweets, or emails to celebrities every day for as long as you're able to.
26: You become red-green colorblind, but your vision is correct any time you have a foreign object in your nose.
27: You can no longer see dogs. Your mind will subconsciously see dogs only enough to erase them from your conscious mind. All of your other senses still function correctly with respect to perceiving dogs.
28: You will attempt to become famous on the internet. You will not get a job, and will pour absolutely everything you have in to attaining and maintaining internet fame for the rest of your life, regardless of if you're actually talented. If a new technology comes along that obsoletes the internet, you will attempt to become famous there instead.
29: You are unable to see or hear anything at all unless there is a mirror within your field of vision. The mirror must be at least as reflective and colorless as the average bathroom mirror.
30: You can see a creature that nobody else can see. It whispers words of encouragement to you that nobody else can hear. Hearing the words of that creature fills you with confidence.
31: You become of scholar of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure manga, obsessed with goal of being able to instantly tell if anything is a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure reference.
32: For each individual punch you throw, you must shout a two syllable battle cry of our choosing as loudly as you can.
33: You will feel progressively hungrier and weaker the more you listen to top 40 radio within a 24-hour span.
34: Hearing any part of Dvorak's Symphony No. 9 in any context makes you orgasm. The sensation will become painful after twenty seconds of listening to that music within a five hour time span.
35: You can no longer buy anything from online retailers or chain stores with more than 100 locations.
36: You will try absolutely anything to become a Scientologist, but the only think you are allowed to say to any Scientologist is "I want Xenu to fuck me."
37: You will only sleep outside. Sleeping inside will cause you extreme anxiety.
38: Every word you speak out loud will be sung. You are free to choose the pitch and rhythm of your singing.
39: At the earliest available opportunity, you will do something that gets you fired. You won't know what it is. In every subsequent job application or interview you go through with, you will unconsciously do something terrible that prevents you from getting the job. You will forever remain unemployed.
40: You spend hours every day writing a new surprise seconds game that you never post on CE.
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41: You will make five separate hour-long documentaries on different GameFAQs users.
42: You will do everything you possibly can to become a GameFAQs moderator.
43: Over the course of a month, you become 30% worse at every marketable skill you have.
44: Over the course of a month, you become 30% better at every marketable skill you have.
45: Tap water now tastes exactly like vinegar.
46: You become sexually attracted to the first car you see, and will treat it like a lover.
47: You gain the ability instantly fall asleep for whatever amount of time is enough for you to feel energized. You can still be woken up like normal (e.g. from an alarm clock), but will feel twice as groggy and exhausted waking up early from this super sleep than you would from normal sleep. You will continue to feel low energy until you sleep an entirely unbroken full night's sleep.
48: You will punch the next person you see. It's just a single punch, but you won't hold anything back. You won't punch anyone if you have your eyes closed.
49: After hearing any music, you will tap your foot or otherwise move your body to that beat for as long as you are conscious. The beat doesn't change even if you listen to different music. After losing and regaining consciousness, you will not be moving to the beat until you hear music again.
50: You can choose to become unconscious for a thirty period span of time as often as you'd like without any ability to wake up. Your vitals will still be strong during this period of unconsciousness.
51: Every day, a random ten second span of your thoughts will be shouted out loud. You will be completely unable to tell when this happens.
52: Mentally, you are now the opposite gender than you were before the accident occurred. If you were cis, you are now trans, and vice versa.
53: You become addicted to abusing inhalants. Every day, you must huff something, otherwise you feel extreme anxiety.
54: Dirt becomes the most delicious food. You would happily eat dirt instead of real food if it were able to provide you the nutrition you need.
55: You forget everything about your life. General knowledge and trade skills are preserved, but anything specific to you and the people you know is forgotten.
56: At the end of each day, you forget everything you learned since the accident.
57: You poop the perfect poop every time. Wiping is just a formality.
58: Your senses of taste and smell go missing.
59: Your fashion sense gets really good. You can recall every tasteful arrangement of colors you've ever seen, and you understand innately why some pieces of clothing look much better than others.
60: You get to have sex with my boyfriend, Jeremy.
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Dangit, okay.

10: Something about your hormones becomes messed up, causing dogs who smell you to always assume you intend to attack them.

Well, fuck. Not a dog person, but that still sucks. :(
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Okay then.
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meow

edit: well that was a shitty roll :(
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I might have made these a bit harsh. Anyway, here goes my roll!

Edit: Shit, I picked the only option that makes me die.
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e

59: Your fashion sense gets really good. You can recall every tasteful arrangement of colors you've ever seen, and you understand innately why some pieces of clothing look much better than others.

cool
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ok

07: To you, everyone appears to have the face of a dog. It's always The Doge, making you effectively face blind.

I give myself 2 weeks before I end up committed to the insane asylum
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a lot of these are legit awful lol

31: I become a JoJo fanatic? that's actually kind of cool in a way. I sort of already try to guess if something is from JoJo because people post things about it a lot
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Let's-a play.

EDIT: M m. Kore wa mondai to naru kansei ga arimasu.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75kHq9cHSEg" data-time="
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Cool surprise.

Yikes! I guess I'm hitting the books.
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Ouch.

33: You will feel progressively hungrier and weaker the more you listen to top 40 radio within a 24-hour span.

Fine with me, popular music sucks nowadays
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Let's see now...
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.
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Hmm

I'm kinda fucked
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Post
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Schwarz posted...

Dangit, okay.

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Themite
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post
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Post.
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Bump
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I approve of these shenanigans.