Current Events > What to do about this fucked up situation with my roommate and our neighbor?

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We live in an apartment, and this crazy old lady lives three doors down from us. She knocks on our door pretty often, and it's never anything good. She's a lonely old kook who needs someone to listen to her problems and help her with lonely old lady shit. It's really tough for her I'm sure, but it can't keep being our problem. I've been done with this shit for so long. I don't answer the door for her anymore. I just let her keep knocking until she realizes nobody is going to answer and she eventually goes away. But when my roommate is home, he keeps answering the door for her out of some stupid sense of sympathy or being a good person or something, even though he hates her as much as I do. Goddammit, she would have stopped trying to come over by now if he just wouldn't open the fucking door for her. The problem would be solved.

I've tried telling him he doesn't have to open the door for her. I URGE him to not open the door. I've explained to him several times that he does not have to open it. But he keeps thinking he HAS to do his little boy scout good deed of the day every time she knocks, and I don't get it. Every time she comes over, it makes me uncomfortable, it makes HIM uncomfortable, it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable, our fucking cat shows visible signs of being distressed whenever she knocks. WE DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS. WHY DOES HE ANSWER THE FUCKING DOOR?

It's gotten ridiculous now. She knocks at least once every day now, and he answers it for her every time. It's not AS bad for me, because I have given her many hints that I don't like her at all, and she seems to have taken them. So now she just asks my roommate if he'll come over to her apartment, and he always agrees. So it's his problem (and I have told him, since I'm against opening the door for her in the first place, it's HIS burden if he decides to open it for her. He will deal with whatever happens afterwards, not me). But that's beside the point. I don't want her feeling welcome to come knock on our door at all. I want her to leave us alone. Ugghh. And today, after he got back from her apartment, I told him he's a more compassionate person than I am. And he was like "Ummmm, yeah..." in a tone that implied that he thinks I should be sharing the burden with him. Uh, no the fuck I shouldn't, I told you that if you answer the door for her, then she is your problem. Don't put any of this on me, because I don't want shit to do with it. Fuck.

What kind of stuff does she ask you to do?
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He's free to open the door, but the burden is all his if he does. Just ignore her regardless of whether your roommate opens the door.
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TeaMilk posted...

What kind of stuff does she ask you to do?

Listen to her talk about how she was raped by her parents as a child and witness her have an emotional breakdown about it.
She also really likes to try to hug us and be frisky with us (he lets her, I don't).
Recently, she has been trying to get my roommate to help her kill her sick cat because she can't afford to go to the vet. And also venting all of her emotional distress about the situation to him. He has told her repeatedly that he won't kill the cat for her, I wish he would just not put himself through it, and also save me the uncomfort of having her knock on our door in the first place by NOT FUCKING ANSWERING IT, but goddamn, what can I do?

Pillowpantz posted...

He's free to open the door, but the burden is all his if he does. Just ignore her regardless of whether your roommate opens the door.

The fact that she comes knocking at all still stresses me out. If you were in my shoes, you would understand. I want it to stop. Period.

what the fuck
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An_Actual_Chad posted...

Pillowpantz posted...

He's free to open the door, but the burden is all his if he does. Just ignore her regardless of whether your roommate opens the door.

The fact that she comes knocking at all still stresses me out. If you were in my shoes, you would understand. I want it to stop. Period.

If your roommate pays rent, you can't really stop him from answering the door. Does she try to bug you too when he opens the door? If she does, tell her upfront that you're done talking to her and to bother your roommate.
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Pillowpantz posted...

If your roommate pays rent, you can't really stop him from answering the door.

There has to be some kind of reverse psychology I can use or something.

Maybe egg him on like "Oh look, it's your best friend. Why don't you open it for her?" or "Oh there's Glenda again. Go be her bitch and let her kidnap you and have her way with you again."

Or next time she knocks, I'll go sit in front of the door with my back to it so he can't pull it open. And when he tells me to move, I'll say "What's in it for me? Give me $100 and I'll move."

An_Actual_Chad posted...

Pillowpantz posted...

If your roommate pays rent, you can't really stop him from answering the door.

There has to be some kind of reverse psychology I can use or something.

Maybe egg him on like "Oh look, it's your best friend. Why don't you open it for her?" or "Oh there's Glenda again. Go be her bitch and let her kidnap you and have her way with you again."

Or next time she knocks, I'll go sit in front of the door with my back to it so he can't pull it open. And when he tells me to move, I'll say "What's in it for me? Give me $100 and I'll move."

i don't think you understand what reverse psychology is...
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No_U_L7 posted...

i don't think you understand what reverse psychology is...

There has to be some kind of reverse psychology I can use or something.

You need to calm down. Jesus man it's not a big deal.
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eggcorn posted...

You need to calm down. Jesus man it's not a big deal.

It is. You're not the one going through it.

Move away as fast as possible?
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An_Actual_Chad posted...

eggcorn posted...

You need to calm down. Jesus man it's not a big deal.

It is. You're not the one going through it.

Just pretend it's his girlfriend
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Why haven't you guys told the landlord yet?
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Stop being passive about the situation and tell the crone off.
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I mean just remember this when you're an old dude and no one wants to give you the time of day.

put up with being mildly annoyed every once in a while. It's his time he's wasting, not yours.
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or set up some tripwires around your yard
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voldothegr8 posted...

Stop being passive about the situation and tell the crone off.

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SpinKirby posted...

voldothegr8 posted...

Stop being passive about the situation and tell the crone off.

Already did.

Make your door really unappealing to knock on. Cover it with a thick layer of some kind of goo

Lol stop trying to live his life if he wants to answer the door for her and deal with her let him.
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Start asking her to borrow money every time you see her, shell stop coming around.
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Maybe get your roommate to schedule time for her. Like get them to understand it would be better if he goes to her place (if he wants to help) around 7 or something every day.

Everyone else really needs their time away from people and don't really want to listen to her horrible life.
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nicklebro posted...

Start asking her to borrow money every time you see her, shell stop coming around.

haha this is a good idea.
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Tell your roommate to get her contact information and just have them call each other instead of knocking on the damn door everyday.

Or let your roommate know how you feel maybe?
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Lol, your boy is hitting it.
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neighbor needs a psychiatrist if she's having that kind of problem.
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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Lol, your boy is hitting it.

TBH. Sounds like a dick appointment.
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