Current Events > Do you have anything against girls who self harm?

(+) Yeah! (+)

whether as a friend or love interest?
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Yeah they need to stop and seek help.
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anything against them? of course not.

do i think they should look into therapy and support? yes.
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Yeah, them self harming.
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Of course, it's a huge fucking red flag.

As much as possible, keep toxic people and crazy people out of your life. It's a lot less drama to deal with.
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Vulgorn posted...

anything against them? of course not.

do i think they should look into therapy and support? yes.

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I was with a girl once who cut herself pretty bad and blamed it on me in a roundabout way. I later found out she was literally psychotic (as in she was on anti-psychotic medication). I constantly bent over backwards for her and treated her with as gentle a hand as I could but she still found ways to use it to manipulate me. I tried to make it work anyway (I thought this was just how relationships worked) but eventually had to move on.

I feel bad for people who do it, but for the sake of relationships it's a deal breaker if they're still actively cutting. If it was just something they did in their past and got over it then it's fine. People do stupid things when they're young.
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Funkydog posted...

Vulgorn posted...

anything against them? of course not.

do i think they should look into therapy and support? yes.

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SpiralDrift posted...

I was with a girl once who cut herself pretty bad and blamed it on me in a roundabout way. I later found out she was literally psychotic (as in she was on anti-psychotic medication). I constantly bent over backwards for her and treated her with as gentle a hand as I could but she still found ways to use it to manipulate me. I tried to make it work anyway (I thought this was just how relationships worked) but eventually had to move on.

I feel bad for people who do it, but for the sake of relationships it's a deal breaker if they're still actively cutting. If it was just something they did in their past and got over it then it's fine. People do stupid things when they're young.

while i dont necessarily disagree with this

i think cutters generally all do it for different, but deeply personal reasons. just because you met one cutter that needed to be on anti-psychotic meds doesn't mean they all do.
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Was talking to this girl for a few weeks. I got her to come over one night she went to the bathroom randomly, came back and saw cuts on wrist. I pretended not to notice and still had the sexy time with her...didn't call her back after that

This topic reminded me of that very weird night. Thanks TC.
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Vulgorn posted...

anything against them? of course not.

do i think they should look into therapy and support? yes.

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One time I messaged a chick on Tumblr who I knew had serious mental health problems and she came and met up with me with massive bandages on her wrists with bloodstains on them.

We got drunk and had sex, the worst sex of my life. I remember thinking "I can't wait for this to be over" while we were doing it.

She promptly got dressed and left, even though I said she could stay. I guess my drunk performance was not very good, but man you can only work so much magic with someone who is just lying there doing nothing.

Last I saw she was back in a mental hospital for trying to kill herself. I wonder if she's still alive and if she's gotten any better.
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Only if they refuse to seek help, therapy, or whatnot. I'm absolutely willing to help support someone but they've got to make an effort themselves to get better. One of my closer friends used to self-harm (clean for about a year or two) but still gets urges occasionally, so I have nothing against the people themselves.

But if they drag their feet or refuse to seek the help they need, then I will cut them off. Pretty much attention whoring at that point tbh.
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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Of course, it's a huge fucking red flag.

As much as possible, keep toxic people and crazy people out of your life. It's a lot less drama to deal with.

Agreed. I tend to stay away from that type. They're extremely annoying.
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Though as an addendum, I think for right now, like another person said, currently harming oneself would be a deal breaker for relationships, seeking help or not.

I've dealt with such people before and it's absolutely stressful as hell, even just as friends. I imagine a relationship would multiply that several times over.

With my depression and anxiety and what not, I think it's better for me to avoid that at least for now. It's not something against them, it's just knowing from past experience that'll fuck me up.
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My sister used to do this as a teen, used to break my heart. I tried as best as possible to talk to her and hear her our and get her to stop. Too bad my mom would ruin it by making fun of her for cutting herself. It was seriously awful. Shes got her shit together now at least but still some unresolved emotional issues that shes working out.

I don't have anything against them, I just won't date them. I'm already mentally fucked, if both of us are that's a formula for a toxic relationship.

Plus I've dated a cutter and I'm not cleaning someone's arms again.
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