Current Events > Looks like my ex is finally dating someone

(+) Yeah! (+)

Id been dreading this for a while now. Its been a year since she dumped me and a couple months since we last spent time together. Fits the time table, since I stopped hearing from her.

Funny thing is that it doesnt hurt anywhere near as bad as I thought it would. I think I spent all this time feeling worthless and out of my league and that the next guy would effectively put me to shame, but he just looks kind of... nice, happy, the sort of person I would want for her. Actually, he looks a lot like me, in a similar profile sort of way. She has a type.

I stopped hoping wed get back together a while ago, but she crept back into my mind due to timing and when things with a new girl went south. Whatever pain I felt over her seemed to be more a conduit where everything else missing in my life coalesced into something tangible. Its an odd position when a person becomes a manifestation of your happiness and validation, because they become sort of a figure or an icon rather than a partner. She did me wrong, but I was never in the position to have given her a good long term relationship in the first place. I think the hardest pill Ive been swallowing is that it either might have worked if I had been in a better place for it, or maybe I wouldnt have felt as drawn to her if I was and her significance in my life is unfounded. Sobering thoughts.

I hope youre all doing well :)
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hang in their tc we've all been there before
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Good luck in the dating game!

-Hey
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The sooner you stop dwelling on what could have been and instead do everything in your power to better yourself as a person, the sooner you'll stop caring about her. Your mistake was seeing her after the break up. This should be a nice wake up call for you man. Block her on everything, do not see anything about her and do not speak to her. It sounds shitty but it's a blessing in disguise. You have the power within yourself to do this and I guarantee you'll be happier in the end. Never let a woman run your life.
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Bloodmoon77 posted...

The sooner you stop dwelling on what could have been and instead do everything in your power to better yourself as a person, the sooner you'll stop caring about her. Your mistake was seeing her after the break up. This should be a nice wake up call for you man. Block her on everything, do not see anything about her and do not speak to her. It sounds shitty but it's a blessing in disguise. You have the power within yourself to do this and I guarantee you'll be happier in the end. Never let a woman run your life.

^^^^^^^^^^
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Bloodmoon77 posted...

The sooner you stop dwelling on what could have been and instead do everything in your power to better yourself as a person, the sooner you'll stop caring about her. Your mistake was seeing her after the break up. This should be a nice wake up call for you man. Block her on everything, do not see anything about her and do not speak to her. It sounds shitty but it's a blessing in disguise. You have the power within yourself to do this and I guarantee you'll be happier in the end. Never let a woman run your life.

While this is all true stuff, it makes relationships seem like such a waste. Seeing someone nearly every day for years, investing in them as a top priority, when you know it's all going to end like this eventually. Quitting each other cold turkey forever - as good as dead. It doesn't happen like that with any other friendship/bond.
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I can't fucking wait for my ex to start dating someone

The sooner she's dating, the sooner she'll focus her entire being on fucking with someone that isn't me.

foreverzero212 posted...

Bloodmoon77 posted...

The sooner you stop dwelling on what could have been and instead do everything in your power to better yourself as a person, the sooner you'll stop caring about her. Your mistake was seeing her after the break up. This should be a nice wake up call for you man. Block her on everything, do not see anything about her and do not speak to her. It sounds shitty but it's a blessing in disguise. You have the power within yourself to do this and I guarantee you'll be happier in the end. Never let a woman run your life.

While this is all true stuff, it makes relationships seem like such a waste. Seeing someone nearly every day for years, investing in them as a top priority, when you know it's all going to end like this eventually. Quitting each other cold turkey forever - as good as dead. It doesn't happen like that with any other friendship/bond.

These are my thoughts, but romantic relationships are trickier due to the feelings and investments involved.

I tried just being a friend, but I couldnt let go of how odd the break had been. She just dropped me after inviting me to meet her extended family. They effectively adopted me as the boyfriend, and it was like she ran because the relationship was suddenly real. It went from showcasing me on social media, talking from morning to night, sappy notes, random gifts, to nothing overnight. Even now, to accept friendship, Id have to accept that this hugely significant part of my life was based on the feeble whims of a girl with a lifelong habit of giving more than she could offer. That it wasnt ever real.

I realized too late that she kept broaching interaction because she was lonely and missed interacting with someone who cared so much about her that shed never have to work for it. It seems so obvious in retrospect, but I was a broken man at the time with very little self confidence. I knew the cease in periodic conversation meant Id been replaced in some capacity. But it was only a matter of time. It would be selfish not to be happy for her, so I can parse this from whatever else Im feeling
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