Current Events > I'm a kiss-less virgin and I'm 95% sure I'm getting laid this week. How fuck?

(+) Yeah! (+)

really though how do I minimize the embarrassment that's gonna go on between those sheets?

lol
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Don't do it.
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How are you so sure you're gonna get laid?
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Alcohol
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Don't get ahead of yourself, there's still that 5% chance of failure.

Seriously though, good luck bro. I mean that. Avenge all of us turbovirgins.
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How are you sure that your getting laid ?
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Literal idiots figure it out. You'll be alright. Just never ask how you did or for tips on improvement afterwards because that's probably the only way to look like a fool afterwards. Own it no matter how awkward it ends up being.
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Honestly, just let things happen naturally and above all, communicate.

What's the context? Share some texts/etc as to why you think it's 95% instead of 0% or 100%
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Communication is key.
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Deed the night before
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sktgamer_13dude posted...

How are you so sure you're gonna get laid?

Offworlder1 posted...

How are you sure that your getting laid ?

Went on some casual dates with this girl already (met on Tinder) and she wants me to "stay over" on Friday night.

I'm pretty oblivious but even I think that pretty much guarantees it. As long as I don't do something super weird before that point.
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Start crying during. Women like to see a man get emotional.
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Blue_Inigo posted...

Deed the night before

Fuck that noise. Deed like an hour before you go out.
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Just relax, take it slow, let her lead. Real life is not like porn, so dont try to make it one.
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This topic intrigues me.
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She is going to kill you in a ritual sacrifice topic creator.
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Offworlder1 posted...

She is going to kill you in a ritual sacrifice topic creator.

ooh. TC if this happens post some pics
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Wait, you have never been kissed and she wants you to come over?

Not that she has to know, but you have to be decent enough looking for her to want to. Or this is Sus af
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_Squirtle_ posted...

sktgamer_13dude posted...

How are you so sure you're gonna get laid?

Offworlder1 posted...

How are you sure that your getting laid ?

Went on some casual dates with this girl already (met on Tinder) and she wants me to "stay over" on Friday night.

I'm pretty oblivious but even I think that pretty much guarantees it. As long as I don't do something super weird before that point.

pics obviously required

And go get 'em tiger. And just be yourself, don't be nervous. Also definitely deed the night before, don't succumb to the juggernut.
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ACHEEKSMALLOY posted...

Offworlder1 posted...

She is going to kill you in a ritual sacrifice topic creator.

ooh. TC if this happens post some pics

tf is he supposed to post pics if he is in the belly of some demon?
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Pretty sure this girl can tell he is a virgin, and male virgins make good sacrifices.
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_MorningStar posted...

Wait, you have never been kissed and she wants you to come over?

Not that she has to know, but you have to be decent enough looking for her to want to. Or this is Sus af

I have a pretty doofy face but I have a decently athletic body. Most of the kiss-less virgin stuff comes from me not trying at all. I never asked out a girl at all until like 6 months ago. Never went to parties, tended to not go out at all because I was cheap and lacked confidence.

sktgamer_13dude posted...

pics obviously required

And go get 'em tiger. And just be yourself, don't be nervous. Also definitely deed the night before, don't succumb to the juggernut.

what would deeding the night before do? Wouldn't I be completely recharged by the time we actually do it?
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_Squirtle_ posted...

what would deeding the night before do? Wouldn't I be completely recharged by the time we actually do it?

_MorningStar posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Deed the night before

Fuck that noise. Deed like an hour before you go out.

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_Squirtle_ posted...

what would deeding the night before do? Wouldn't I be completely recharged by the time we actually do it?

It's from The League. Twas mostly a joke, but I'd definitely deed within 24 hours of going over <_<
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Two words: nipple stimulation
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sktgamer_13dude posted...

It's from The League. Twas mostly a joke, but I'd definitely deed within 24 hours of going over <_<

alright

is giving / receiving oral before doing the safety dance typical or is that just a porn thing? Or a thing that doesn't happen until you're dating?
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Even if you think she thinks youre a virgin just act cool about it. And dont explicitly bring up sex/fucking, just let it happen. Giving basic female oral or fucking a girl is all pretty straightforward so dont overthink it.
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I mean it's all foreplay.

But don't just go into it. Play around. Have your hands wander. Don't just drop your pants and stick it in. Have some fun. It's a marathon not a sprint.
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daftpunk_mk5 posted...

Two words: nipple stimulation

nipple stimulation?
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When you finish just tell her your job here is done, and when she replys "but you didn't do anything", flash your cape and look smug as you walk away satisfied.
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_Squirtle_ posted...

daftpunk_mk5 posted...

Two words: nipple stimulation

nipple stimulation?

nipple stimulation
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You ever watched a porno? Ain't that hard, man.
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Go slow kissing, don't bust out a porn move. Use your hand first.
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_MorningStar posted...

Blue_Inigo posted...

Deed the night before

Fuck that noise. Deed like an hour before you go out.

Preferably both with one in between.
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just pull up a porn video on your phone, then as you are doing it watch it for some tips on what to do
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You just need to loosen up and be okay with the fact that you're going to be kind of awkward. Just make yourself comfortable. Even with experienced partners awkward stuff happens sometimes. Sex can be pretty clumsy at times. If she knows you're unexperienced, she probably knows what to expect.
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bump
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1. Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...
You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

2. If you are going to say something, think to yourself does this make me look like I have low self esteem or an obsessive?, if yes to either of those, then don't say it at all.

3. Don't talk about religion, politics, your ex, money, family drama, or money. Unless she brings it up. If she does, try to get her to talk about herself. In fact getting her to talk about herself is always something you should try to do.
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Dustin1280 posted...

Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...

You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

I recommend against this. If it's your first time, you might not be able to get it up because nerves or whatever. Even if you do get it up and don't last long initially, it's not a big deal if you fool around and then go at it again.

DoctorPiranha3 posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...

You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

I recommend against this. If it's your first time, you might not be able to get it up because nerves or whatever. Even if you do get it up and don't last long initially, it's not a big deal if you fool around and then go at it again.

You have some good points, but why would deeding beforehand be a bad thing?

Are you suggesting that deeding beforehand might correlate to him not being able to get it up?
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Dustin1280 posted...

DoctorPiranha3 posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...

You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

I recommend against this. If it's your first time, you might not be able to get it up because nerves or whatever. Even if you do get it up and don't last long initially, it's not a big deal if you fool around and then go at it again.

You have some good points, but why would deeding beforehand be a bad thing?

Are you suggesting that deeding beforehand might correlate to him not being able to get it up?

I just wouldn't run the risk of not being able to get stiff during the first go, thanks to a same day jerk. As he gains more experience it shouldn't be an issue, but the beginning stages are a delicate time.

DoctorPiranha3 posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

DoctorPiranha3 posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...

You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

I recommend against this. If it's your first time, you might not be able to get it up because nerves or whatever. Even if you do get it up and don't last long initially, it's not a big deal if you fool around and then go at it again.

You have some good points, but why would deeding beforehand be a bad thing?

Are you suggesting that deeding beforehand might correlate to him not being able to get it up?

I just wouldn't run the risk of not being able to get stiff during the first go, thanks to a same day jerk. As he gains more experience it shouldn't be an issue, but the beginning stages are a delicate time.

That is exactly why he SHOULD do it beforehand...

If it is his first experience I strongly doubt he will have ANY issue getting it up and if he deeds first it will help him last.
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Dustin1280 posted...

DoctorPiranha3 posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Strongly recommend you deed right before you go to her place...

You want to last, and the chance of that happening is pretty low if it's your first time.

I recommend against this. If it's your first time, you might not be able to get it up because nerves or whatever. Even if you do get it up and don't last long initially, it's not a big deal if you fool around and then go at it again.

You have some good points, but why would deeding beforehand be a bad thing?

Are you suggesting that deeding beforehand might correlate to him not being able to get it up?

The "when-to-prep-deed" varies from person to person. In this case, it's hard for anyone other than TC to decide what the optimal time would be.

I can see how one day prior might be too soon, because as mentioned, nerves might kick in. Alternatively, because it is the first time, he might get over-anxious and lose it too early.

We need to see if TC knows his limit. If he knows when he's about to blow his load and can control himself well, then he might consider deeding 2-3 days prior, as opposed to one.

It's a delicate balance.
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When you are hanging out things will start to unfold naturally. Foreplay is a big part of sex, don't jump into it right away. Make her feel good and get her going. It's about having fun and enjoying each other.
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Just remember there's a difference between
Don't... stop
and
DON"T. STOP!
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The key is open and honest communication. Youre inexperienced and it is going to show, but that isnt something to be embarrassed about. If she likes you, it probably wont matter, and shell enjoy getting you up to speed
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Pretend it's the hokey pokey.

You put your dick you. You pull your dick slightly out. You put your dick in, and you shake it all about. And repeat.
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