Current Events > Being poor sucks

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RockRapDubstep
01/21/18 4:17:17 AM
#51:


It's also caused issues with emasculation because I'm a man who couldn't even defend myself from being raped.
I had several ribs broken, a broken, jaw, and a broken wrist. As as well as some damage to other areas that I don't need to mention.

Siaperaz posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
Siaperaz posted...
TC why are you afraid of going out? Nothing wrong will happen. Just go out right now to test it.

I was literally, completely randomly *graphic warning* raped by 2 men right outside my apartment, and they were never caught. logically I know everything would probably be fine, but it's hard to explain agoraphobia to someone who hasn't experienced it. And likely some PTSD too.

You have to fight it. Have you visited a psychologist? Are you taking medication?

I don't think you realize how much easier said that is than done.

Trayvon posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
My girlfriend

how does this work, or how did it even happen if you can't even get your mail?

She was my gf before all this happened. I think I'm burdening her too much though and I feel us growing apart. I know she's going to have me leave sooner or later.
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kingdrake2
01/21/18 4:24:40 AM
#52:


80 degree weather, yes please.

though still 6 month's away from summer.
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iClockwork
01/21/18 4:30:14 AM
#53:


RockRapDubstep posted...
I don't think you realize how much easier said that is than done.

You're right with the problems you described it will be hard but the alternative is to continue on the same path. Did these anxiety and phobias exist before the incident?
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RockRapDubstep
01/21/18 4:47:57 AM
#54:


kingdrake2 posted...
80 degree weather, yes please.

though still 6 month's away from summer.

What

iClockwork posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
I don't think you realize how much easier said that is than done.

You're right with the problems you described it will be hard but the alternative is to continue on the same path. Did these anxiety and phobias exist before the incident?

Some social anxiety, but that's it. It wasn't crippling like this is. I legitimately can't handle a knock at my door without my stomach sinking and fear coming over me. I feel ruined.

I just want to try to play some games or something where I won't feel like complete shit for the first time in ages.
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Trayvon
01/21/18 5:31:55 AM
#55:


RockRapDubstep posted...
She was my gf before all this happened. I think I'm burdening her too much though and I feel us growing apart. I know she's going to have me leave sooner or later.

do you think deep down she thinks less of you because of the rape?

I didn't realise bro shits fucked up
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RockRapDubstep
01/21/18 5:42:54 AM
#56:


Trayvon posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
She was my gf before all this happened. I think I'm burdening her too much though and I feel us growing apart. I know she's going to have me leave sooner or later.

do you think deep down she thinks less of you because of the rape?

I didn't realise bro s***s f***ed up

Idk but I know I haven't been the best person to be with considering all my issues. even when we have sex everything just feels off because of me and how I'm feeling. I've had trouble with intimacy ever since and I know it's affecting her.
Only a matter of time before I'm alone and homeless or have to find someone to pity me enough to let me crash there.
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Slip-N-Slide
01/21/18 5:48:15 AM
#57:


I really wish I had something to chip in TC, you deserve it. But I'm flat broke myself too.
Sorry doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling for you.
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Siaperaz
01/21/18 8:29:29 AM
#58:


RockRapDubstep posted...
It's also caused issues with emasculation because I'm a man who couldn't even defend myself from being raped.
I had several ribs broken, a broken, jaw, and a broken wrist. As as well as some damage to other areas that I don't need to mention.

Siaperaz posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
Siaperaz posted...
TC why are you afraid of going out? Nothing wrong will happen. Just go out right now to test it.

I was literally, completely randomly *graphic warning* raped by 2 men right outside my apartment, and they were never caught. logically I know everything would probably be fine, but it's hard to explain agoraphobia to someone who hasn't experienced it. And likely some PTSD too.

You have to fight it. Have you visited a psychologist? Are you taking medication?

I don't think you realize how much easier said that is than done.

You don't have another choice. This is life. Life fucks you over and when you think life is done with you, life fucks you again. But the most imporant thing in life is to know that even if you fall down you have to stand up again.

And it's time for you to stand up and stop being a victim. It's time to be a citizen again. Pick up your stupid phone and call a psychologist now.
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RockRapDubstep
01/21/18 4:50:46 PM
#59:


Siaperaz posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
It's also caused issues with emasculation because I'm a man who couldn't even defend myself from being raped.
I had several ribs broken, a broken, jaw, and a broken wrist. As as well as some damage to other areas that I don't need to mention.

Siaperaz posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
Siaperaz posted...
TC why are you afraid of going out? Nothing wrong will happen. Just go out right now to test it.

I was literally, completely randomly *graphic warning* raped by 2 men right outside my apartment, and they were never caught. logically I know everything would probably be fine, but it's hard to explain agoraphobia to someone who hasn't experienced it. And likely some PTSD too.

You have to fight it. Have you visited a psychologist? Are you taking medication?

I don't think you realize how much easier said that is than done.

You don't have another choice. This is life. Life f***s you over and when you think life is done with you, life f***s you again. But the most imporant thing in life is to know that even if you fall down you have to stand up again.

And it's time for you to stand up and stop being a victim. It's time to be a citizen again. Pick up your stupid phone and call a psychologist now.

I haven't been able to find one that takes my medicaid. I don't even have a currently valid license to drive and I can't even leave my property without having severe panic attacks that have literally caused me to hyperventilate until I fall over.
My gf has already been staying at her parents, I know she's only letting me stay here out of pity.

I can't say here what I really should do.
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"I have bitten both of my children" - IfGodCouldDie 10/22/17
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Slip-N-Slide
01/21/18 11:26:41 PM
#60:


Seeing this topic in my amp and not being able to help is depressing.
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PikachuMaxwell
01/21/18 11:29:43 PM
#61:


But of course. I'm sure everyone can relate.
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Gamer99z
01/22/18 1:07:48 AM
#62:


Slip-N-Slide posted...
Seeing this topic in my amp and not being able to help is depressing.

Yeah I almost considered deleting my posts ITT because as a sexual abuse victim this topic isn't easy to read.
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InstaReturns
01/22/18 1:17:23 AM
#63:


I got you
Omfg it emailed to my parents account because Amazon and my mom can't understand I need the email forwarded
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InstaReturns
01/22/18 1:23:41 AM
#64:


Check PMS
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Slip-N-Slide
01/22/18 2:23:38 PM
#65:


Seems like some of you guys are helping TC out, good on you all. Things like this makes me love CE.
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Feet_Fungus
01/22/18 2:55:34 PM
#66:


I need $20 for da booty. Who's got me?
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RockRapDubstep
01/23/18 9:36:57 PM
#67:


Slip-N-Slide posted...
Seems like some of you guys are helping TC out, good on you all. Things like this makes me love CE.

Yeah some really nice people here.
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"I have bitten both of my children" - IfGodCouldDie 10/22/17
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TheoryzC
01/23/18 9:54:24 PM
#68:


Damn. You gotta figure out a way to get help for your problem. Shit is ruining your life
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RockRapDubstep
01/23/18 10:32:07 PM
#69:


TheoryzC posted...
Damn. You gotta figure out a way to get help for your problem. s*** is ruining your life

Oh yeah, I'm well aware that I'm fucked up. I can't function in society at all anymore. I can't get over it on my own and I can't see a professional due to Medicaid being garbage and nobody locally accepting it.
I'd have to either give up food or electricity to pay to see a professional. Which either way I'd be fucked one way or another.

Like I said, I'd be modded for saying what I feel like I should just do. But thanks to everyone who helped out. I know getting money for games probably isn't the smartest thing to be doing, but honestly playing games is one of the only things I can do to not loathe myself and my entire existence even just for a little bit. And with online games I'm trying to get a headset so I can try to force myself to talk to people. It's probably a stupid idea but I feel like maybe if I can start making myself talk to people again even online that can help me in real life too.
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Gamer99z
01/24/18 6:57:32 PM
#70:


Good luck man, and if you think that's something that could help you I hope you're able to do that soon. I'd buy you a headset myself and chip in some extra on PayPal if I had the means to right now but I don't.
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RockRapDubstep
01/25/18 12:33:46 AM
#71:


Thanks
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3deep5u
01/25/18 12:35:10 AM
#72:


$60 is not insignificant. It's a ripoff. I never buy games for that much.
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SomeLikeItHoth
01/25/18 12:36:34 AM
#73:


Want me to buy you a game? I have a lot of money to spare.
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RockRapDubstep
01/25/18 1:35:47 AM
#74:


@SomeLikeItHoth posted...
Want me to buy you a game? I have a lot of money to spare.

While I appreciate a seemingly uncharacteristically kind gesture from you, I think in this case if you're serious and have lots of money to spare, I'd rather you just donate to the APA instead of giving anything to me personally given our poor interactions in the past.

https://cyberstore1.apa.org/cyb/cli/casinterface1/apf/
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InstaReturns
01/25/18 4:18:02 AM
#75:


If i ever get a new headset you can have my artemis

XD
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NaturalHarmonia
01/25/18 2:09:04 PM
#76:


Rain_Dust posted...
I didnt read this whole topic.. But is TC a boy or girl...?


Go to sleep Professor Oak.
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SomeLikeItHoth
01/25/18 2:31:29 PM
#77:


RockRapDubstep posted...
given our poor interactions in the past.

I don't have a problem with you. Actually, I don't even know who you are tbh.
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DevsBro
01/25/18 2:36:00 PM
#78:


I think the last time I spent $60 on a video game was in 2009.
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MACisBack
01/25/18 2:53:59 PM
#79:


The last time I bought a full price game... was back in like 2004.

Any way, if I end up with a little extra cash one of these days, and if you have steam on your PC, I will buy you game with what I have, it might not be much but a little something to tie you over.
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RockRapDubstep
01/26/18 4:46:43 PM
#80:


SomeLikeItHoth posted...
RockRapDubstep posted...
given our poor interactions in the past.

I don't have a problem with you. Actually, I don't even know who you are tbh.

You accused me of being someone's alt and attempting to dox you.
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God dan gets cold as difficult dick after 30 man hays or less. - pres_madagascar
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Slip-N-Slide
01/28/18 2:20:08 AM
#81:


Lol so Hoth is just gonna dodge now
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iClockwork
01/29/18 8:41:37 AM
#82:


I think that talking online is a step in the right direction if these feelings of anxiety are that strong. If talking to complete strangers in a lobby becomes too much PM and we could chat on Discord if you ever need too.
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