Current Events > She didn't text me back. I think we're done.

(+) Yeah! (+)

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Well sure he can say that if he wants to look like a stalker who isn't good with girls and needs to be pitied.

It's not about getting pity, it's about being honest. Nothing I said in there isn't true. Some women find honesty endearing and like I said, at this point he has nothing to lose. If my response works than he knows that him being honest is a good thing which, in turn, would allow him to be more comfortable.

I will give you that, if your way works, it will put him in a better spot going forward.

But I would argue it has a big chance to fail miserably. So it's a gamble either way.

And my method will do nothing for his confidence or behavior type while yours will at least allow him to be more open about it.

TC:
Either go though full blown honesty route, in which case you can text immediately.

Or use my method which is a more confident way to attempt resolve the situation...

Your choice man...
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PaulWalker posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

What was her EXACT word for word first text about the instagram thing?

"Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you but I got a phone message that a profile followed me on insta, but didn't see it in my followers, so I searched it and it was you. Did you follow me?"

Yikes. Well, I hope whatever you decide to do doesn't end poorly. Good luck.
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Renraku_San posted...

einegutePerson posted...

Eevee-Trainer posted...

KogaSteelfang posted...

Looked gf posted...

PaulWalker posted...

She was the most serious relationship (if you can call it that,) that I've ever had.

Lol

Cut him some slack, it was his first time dating anyone.

This. It's a pretty big achievement for him.

TBH yes, if anything should be dapping a brother up for getting out there instead of being a jerk about it

Not that - the fact that they're insanely clingy and borderline stalkerish.

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He literally has nothing to lose by being honest here. Either the girl will think it's cute and keep dating him or she will think it's creepy and block him. If she blocks him, that's okay because she wasn't responding to him anyway before he liked her profile.

That's a pretty good point C7D, i was just trying to help him avoid the creepy route.
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I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"
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PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

You should have used what i said word for word....

This does nothing at all to help your case...

"Is that alright?" is possibly the worst part of that mess....

You didn't go the honest route or the confident route, you did some weird combination that isn't going to do you any favors...
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And now we wait.
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PaulWalker posted...

What if I'm just honest with her? I can say something like "You hadn't responded to my question about our next date and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Sorry!"

bruh....
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PaulWalker posted...

What if I'm just honest with her? I can say something like "You hadn't responded to my question about our next date and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Sorry!"

Jesus Christ TC
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How come she isn't being shamed for triple texting doe
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Dustin1280 posted...

You didn't go the honest route or the confident route, you did some weird combination that isn't going to do you any favors...

He definitely leaned more towards the dishonest side with his text, and that last bit reeks of a lack of confidence, which does much more harm than good.
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

How come she isn't being shamed for triple texting doe

She texted twice, and she isn't being shamed because the TC is obsessing over her.

She 100% is running the show here so she can do whatever she wants...
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Should have gone with "sorry, I was deleting old numbers last night, who dis?"
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PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

That was a terrible way to respond to that. Seriously, come clean. Apologize for lying just now. Don't do it through text.

It's like the TC is ignoring all advice and doing whatever the hell he wants anyway....

He had two good options to go with and he made up his own third option that was awful.
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She was being clingy as fuck, call her out tc and tell her to give you some space
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KILBOTz posted...

Should have gone with "sorry, I was deleting old numbers last night, who dis?"

That doesn't make sense as to why I followed her.

C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

That was a terrible way to respond to that. Seriously, come clean. Apologize for lying just now. Don't do it through text.

So should I call her or ask her to meet up?
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oh god @C7D

I'm out, you handle the TC
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Dustin1280 posted...

oh god @C7D

I'm out, you handle the TC

I don't get why you're becoming so adamant I'm not listening to advice or taking it in to account. The text I sent her was what you told me to say, I just put it into my tone of voice.
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Honestly this all sounds like you've got some self confidence issues man. I've seen it before. If you can fix that you'll be way better off, and you wont have to ask CE for EVERY single thing to do.
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PaulWalker posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

oh god @C7D

I'm out, you handle the TC

I don't get why you're becoming so adamant I'm not listening to advice or taking it in to account. The text I sent her was what you told me to say, I just put it into my tone of voice.

I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but no it wasn't. It wasn't even close...

The text i recommended was a confident way to try to finagle yourself out of the situation.

The text you sent reeks of insecurity and makes you look just as bad as if you came clean with her like C7D was suggesting.

However you lied in this one completely defeating the purpose of C7D suggestion.
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PaulWalker posted...

What if I'm just honest with her? I can say something like "You hadn't responded to my question about our next date and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Sorry!"

Do you not realize how obsessive that makes you look?

PaulWalker posted...

KILBOTz posted...

Should have gone with "sorry, I was deleting old numbers last night, who dis?"

That doesn't make sense as to why I followed her.

C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

That was a terrible way to respond to that. Seriously, come clean. Apologize for lying just now. Don't do it through text.

So should I call her or ask her to meet up?

Gotta call. I'm not sure she wants to meet with you right now. You need to tell her how you feel bad for lying to her. You need to tell her about your inexperience with relationships. You need to do this stuff now.

At this point my advice would NOT be good for you, you have dug yourself too deep a hole.

C7D will probably be the best person to listen too.
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SHE RESPONDED!!

"It's alright, haha =). You can totally follow me if you want. Sorry I didn't get back to you the other day. It was Thanksgiving and I just got forgetful. Probs from all the turkey lol."

What now?
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I don't think TC is ignoring advice, he's just afraid of losing this girl and wants to do whatever he can to keep her, and his overthinking is what's making him do these things. What he needs to do is not put this girl on a pedestal and obsess over her. That causes him to do things that he may and will regret. Case in point, he found her Instagram, followed and quickly unfollowed the girl to get her to respond.
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C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

KILBOTz posted...

Should have gone with "sorry, I was deleting old numbers last night, who dis?"

That doesn't make sense as to why I followed her.

C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

That was a terrible way to respond to that. Seriously, come clean. Apologize for lying just now. Don't do it through text.

So should I call her or ask her to meet up?

Gotta call. I'm not sure she wants to meet with you right now. You need to tell her how you feel bad for lying to her. You need to tell her about your inexperience with relationships. You need to do this stuff now.

Never call a woman on the phone unless youre in a serious relationship
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PaulWalker posted...

SHE RESPONDED!!

"It's alright, haha =). You can totally follow me if you want. Sorry I didn't get back to you the other day. It was Thanksgiving and I just got forgetful. Probs from all the turkey lol."

What now?

This is the part where you take everything you've learned all leading up to this point, apply it to yourself, and make things right.
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"So how about dat date "

Copy and paste dat and you're in bruh
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

"So how about dat date "

Copy and paste dat and you're in bruh

I do feel like I need to bring the date up again since she forgot to respond before.
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you guys know this topic is fake right

PaulWalker posted...

I do feel like I need to bring the date up again since she forgot to respond before.

No, you don't. Don't even think about it, bud.
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FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

Proof?
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Do it, be assertive. If she doesn't respond again or say no den just move on tbh
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TheGoldenEel posted...

C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

KILBOTz posted...

Should have gone with "sorry, I was deleting old numbers last night, who dis?"

That doesn't make sense as to why I followed her.

C7D posted...

PaulWalker posted...

I texted her, "I wanted to add you as a friend so I found your Instagram. Not sure why the follow didn't stay. Is that alright?"

That was a terrible way to respond to that. Seriously, come clean. Apologize for lying just now. Don't do it through text.

So should I call her or ask her to meet up?

Gotta call. I'm not sure she wants to meet with you right now. You need to tell her how you feel bad for lying to her. You need to tell her about your inexperience with relationships. You need to do this stuff now.

Never call a woman on the phone unless youre in a serious relationship

I feel there is a certain lack of sincerity in your approach. I don't feel like TC is trying to play the numbers game. Your approach seems much better suited to that play. Whenever I was dating, I always called when I had something serious to talk about. Also, I was never in a relationship where the girl I was dating didn't want to talk to me every day. That made it quite difficult when I had dates with multiple women. When I met my wife, I stopped dating two other girls the same day.

FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

This is my assumption at this point as well.
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

Do it, be assertive. If she doesn't respond again or say no den just move on tbh

I'm not saying you're wrong, I just need people other than you saying it because you might just be trying to mess with me.
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0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

Proof?

his account was created in september and doesnt have full karma

he's giving the perfect responses

i dont have proof. i have evidence and to me it seems obvious

Dustin1280 posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Dustin1280 posted...

Well sure he can say that if he wants to look like a stalker who isn't good with girls and needs to be pitied.

It's not about getting pity, it's about being honest. Nothing I said in there isn't true. Some women find honesty endearing and like I said, at this point he has nothing to lose. If my response works than he knows that him being honest is a good thing which, in turn, would allow him to be more comfortable.

I will give you that, if your way works, it will put him in a better spot going forward.

But I would argue it has a big chance to fail miserably. So it's a gamble either way.

And my method will do nothing for his confidence or behavior type while yours will at least allow him to be more open about it.

TC:
Either go though full blown honesty route, in which case you can text immediately.

Or use my method which is a more confident way to attempt resolve the situation...

Your choice man...

I was going to say pretty much the same thing.
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C7D posted...

I feel there is a certain lack of sincerity in your approach. I don't feel like TC is trying to play the numbers game. Your approach seems much better suited to that play. Whenever I was dating, I always called when I had something serious to talk about. Also, I was never in a relationship where the girl I was dating didn't want to talk to me every day. That made it quite difficult when I had dates with multiple women. When I met my wife, I stopped dating two other girls the same day.

If you have a wife, its safe to assume you havent dated in a while

Calling on the phone in 2017 is weird. Has nothing to do with seeing multiple people or numbers game or sincerity or whatever. Its just not something people do in the early stages of dating
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FrenchCrunch posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

Proof?

his account was created in september and doesnt have full karma

he's giving the perfect responses

i dont have proof. i have evidence and to me it seems obvious

We've been over this but I can gladly explain it again. I used to post here awhile ago. I don't have many close friends or people to talk to this stuff about so when this situation first came about, I posted about it on the Relationships subreddit. I didn't get much of a response over there so I decided to create a new name on here and post about it.

Honestly, if I were you I wouldn't really believe I'm this incompetent either, but I'm just trying to achieve a relationship since I've never been in one before. If you don't want to believe me, I'm not going to try to convince you, but I will continue to search for advice if I feel the need to.
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Think about it, she's responding to you, now is your chance. If you wait too long she'll be "lol i didn't see it sorry bye"
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FrenchCrunch posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

Proof?

his account was created in september and doesnt have full karma

he's giving the perfect responses

i dont have proof. i have evidence and to me it seems obvious

Agreed, I have been trying to help him on his dating adventure since his first topic. Every time he does something that should damn well get him ghosted, he somehow brings it back with more cringey responses that should only serve to make it worse and somehow it gets a open response with no hint of negativity.

Either he has truly found a unicorn that really just appreciates his awkward failings with women, or he is making this all up.

Either way I will continue to read these topics, but don't plan to give further advice.
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PaulWalker posted...

I'm not saying you're wrong, I just need people other than you saying it because you might just be trying to mess with me.

None of us will say it because it's a stupid move to make. You may as well keep thinking with your dick instead of your brain if you think it's a good idea to insist on a date when you just started freaking out earlier.
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Dustin1280 posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

FrenchCrunch posted...

you guys know this topic is fake right

Proof?

his account was created in september and doesnt have full karma

he's giving the perfect responses

i dont have proof. i have evidence and to me it seems obvious

Agreed, I have been trying to help him on his dating adventure since his first topic. Every time he does something that should damn well get him ghosted, he somehow brings it back with more cringey responses that should only serve to make it worse and somehow it gets a open response with no hint of negativity.

Either he has truly found a unicorn that really just appreciates his awkward failings with women, or he is making this all up.

Either way I will continue to read these topics, but don't plan to give further advice.

If you don't want to continue to give me advice, that's fine. I appreciate you helping getting me this far. As for her, I don't know if she's a unicorn but she does seem pretty special to me. She seems sweet, honest, and has been willing to give me a chance when no other girls ever really have. Maybe she is different?
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In the off chance that this is real TC I truly wish you the best of luck, but my advice will not help you with this woman.
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TheGoldenEel posted...

C7D posted...

I feel there is a certain lack of sincerity in your approach. I don't feel like TC is trying to play the numbers game. Your approach seems much better suited to that play. Whenever I was dating, I always called when I had something serious to talk about. Also, I was never in a relationship where the girl I was dating didn't want to talk to me every day. That made it quite difficult when I had dates with multiple women. When I met my wife, I stopped dating two other girls the same day.

If you have a wife, its safe to assume you havent dated in a while

Calling on the phone in 2017 is weird. Has nothing to do with seeing multiple people or numbers game or sincerity or whatever. Its just not something people do in the early stages of dating

Oh wow, I guess things have changed a bit in the last three years. Hmm, I don't think I would like that.

I texted her asking if she gave any further thought about when she'd like to go out on that fourth date she mentioned.
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