Current Events > I feel like we need a new Green Butter story.

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Kitt
11/07/17 11:07:37 PM
#1:


@Romulox28

Bestow your wisdom upon us, if you will.
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C_Pain
11/07/17 11:09:21 PM
#2:


Applebees is more than just a restaurant, it is an experience.

When you step through the door of the restaurant your first time, you are transported into a world unlike any other. The low light of the restaurant casts shadows on the knick-knacks adorning the walls, and the translucent hum of the various screens through the restaurant create a sort of ethereal presence in the restaurant.

Right off the bat, you know you are in for a dining experience like no other.

"Welcome to Applebees!" a cheerful host says to you. "How many are in your party?" You hold up two fingers. "Right this way!" She responds. As you walk to your table, you wonder how she can deal with so many customers, yet remain so chipper, but shrug it off as another wonderful mystery caused by the splendor of Applebees.

The waitress takes your drink order and for a moment, your head is spinning. Do you want a soda? Do you want iced tea? You look at the drink menu and you see a litany of alcohol beverages you have only dreamed about - Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Light...

The waitress offers a helpful suggestion of an Oreo Shake, and you say that sounds great. She asks if you'd like a round of water for the table as well. You smile. This is the kind of attention to detail that you expect from Michelin Star rated restaurants, not a Neighborhood Bar & Grill!

As the waitress goes to fetch your shake, you peruse the menu. The pages are jam-packed with the names of delicacies that you can only imagine. Fiesta Lime Chicken? Shrimp N' Parmesan Sirloin? You shift in your seat; you suddenly feel very self-aware that you do not belong in this restaurant. Your palatte does not feel sophisticated enough for these cuisines, and you worry that you will not do these delicacies justice when you enjoy them.

Just at this moment, the waitress comes to your table and all your fears are dissuaded. You order the Chicken Tenders Platter (a local favorite). You take a sip from your Oreo Shake and breath a sigh of relief as liquified Oreos slide down your throat. You lean back in your booth and relax.

Suddenly, you hear a chorus of heavenly voices rise from behind you. You turn around to see all of the Applebees wait staff coming towards you, singing and clapping their hands. "Happy happy birthday, from Applebees to you," they cheer. "We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too, hey!"

As soon as they arrived, the employees scatter, leaving you to dwell on the beauty of it all; the fact that Applebees treats you with such precise, special attention, the five-star cuisine, the exotic decor, and the fact that the wait staff is so eager to share in your special moments with you.
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How quaint.
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Kitt
11/07/17 11:11:19 PM
#3:


^
I've seen that one before. You're just not him.
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C_Pain
11/07/17 11:20:05 PM
#4:


Most embarrassing thing happened in school

I have pretty bad anal leakage (always have) and usually before school I stick my plug up in there (like an inhaler for someon with asthma), but today everything went to hell

I had to go to the bathroom really bad 4th period, so I went in the stall, removed the plug, and proceed to go about my business.

After I wiped, I was putting y plug in but it fell in the toilet full of feces and urine,so I said f it

I went back to class and sat down, but when I did I made a pretty loud "squish" sound. I knew I was done when some kid said "what's that smell"

I sat in dread of the end of the period, and once the bell rang I stood up. (after kids had left)

As I stood up, all this gunk just started flowing out making a huge puddle beneath my feet

The teacher was freaking and kids started walking in for 5th period

I ran out, got picked up , got my dads car seat full of feces, and am never going back to school again
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How quaint.
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Romulox28
11/08/17 5:57:13 AM
#5:


the time has to be right
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Sativa_Rose
11/08/17 6:10:51 AM
#6:


We need our amiibo collector back.
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I may not go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.
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#7
Post #7 was unavailable or deleted.
KookyDetective
11/08/17 6:13:51 AM
#8:


Call of Duty WWII

This is a game for the true intellectual; stunted children (liberals) need not apply here. CoD:WWII takes 6 years of the deadliest conflict in human history and condenses them to one $60 package. You are not playing a "shooter," you are playing a slice of life itself.

As you play CoD:WWII, you will be overwhelmed with the entire human experience condensed into one 6 hour campaign. You will see battles fought with intense strategic depth (coordinated by some of the greatest strategic minds, such as Patton and Rommel). You will learn history. You will gaze upon some of the most iconic constructs of man. All of this is wrapped up in an emotional story of loss and sacrifice. If I had to describe CoD:WWII in one word, it would be "profound."

However, the true majesty of CoD:WWII does not just end there. It extends to the multiplayer component as well. Wheras the campaign tests your historical knowledge and emotional depth, the multiplayer will test your reflexes, analytical thinking, mathematical acumen, and non-linear thinking.

Competitive matches are fast, brutal, and highly strategic. Your reflexes will be tested, as will your ability to maintain composure under very high stress. After just one match, I measured my heart rate and found that it was at 200bpm; the game pushed me to my physical peak. After two matches, I found that I was started to gain near superhuman reflexes, enabling me to catch a jar my cat was pushing off the counter before the cat even fully pushed it off. After three matches, I was astrally projecting.

Outside of the fiercely competitive multiplayer, there is also a fantastic area where you can gain points to unlock loot crates and watch other people open loot crates. Simpletons need not apply here; only the top analytical minds here will be able to keep track of all the various numbers being thrown around, and they will have to be doing combinatorics calculations on the fly in order to fully optimize their loot crate experiences. Some of the most mathematically gifted people will take great intellectual pleasure from just watching other people opening loot crates, knowing that there are so many young people in today's day and age who are deriving pleasure from such probability based math problems.

Overall, CoD:WWII is the total package. It takes you to new emotional depths you never dreamed of, it hones your physical skills to superhuman levels, and it tests your minds with some of the most difficult math problems known to man. I can think of nothing more powerful.
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Due to the position of that lamp, I can, without hesitation, come to the conclusion that she was murdered. https://i.imgtc.com/VOEsHll.png
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Kitt
11/08/17 8:04:01 AM
#9:


Romulox28 posted...
the time has to be right

You're such a tease.
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