Current Events > Feelings Now Acceptable As Answers To Math Problems

(+) Yeah! (+)

http://babylonbee.com/news/feelings-now-acceptable-answers-math-problems/

WASHINGTON, D.C.An update issued Tuesday to the 20172018 Common Core educational standards now allows students to answer mathematics problems by responding with whatever their feelings are telling them at the time.

One example problem given to illustrate the updated standards asked students to figure out when a 6:00 a.m. train leaving Boston at thirty miles per hour and a 7:00 a.m. Milwaukee train headed the opposite direction at forty miles per hour will intersect. A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that Ugh, Im offended, Triggered, Trains scare me, Boston scares me, Milwaukee scares me, and Kill yourself, would all be scored as correct.

Any emotion, feeling, statement, or catchphrase is an acceptable answer to most of the problems in the new mathematics standards, a Common Core representative told reporters. As long as students are being sincere, genuine, authentic, and true to themselves at the time they are answering the question, thats all we can ask as educators.

Who are we to tell anyone that their own mathematical truth is wrong? the rep added.

According to the rep, the Common Core standards will be updated next year to include feelings as acceptable responses to any and all questions pertaining to biology, chemistry, grammar, and history, while sources claim that English literature teachers have already been accepting emotions as responses for years.
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Common Core?

Enjoy your 150 post topic.
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"New book from the Babylon Bee. How to be a perfect Christian!"

lol
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Uhhhhhhhhh, dude, you do realize Babylon Bee is a satire site, right. It's basically like The Onion but aimed at a Christian audience.
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there are way too many satirical news sites these days
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this can't be real
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Satire site. Honestly thought it might be real sadly...
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MC_BatCommander posted...

there are way too many satirical news sites these days

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ForestLogic posted...

Uhhhhhhhhh, dude, you do realize Babylon Bee is a satire site, right. It's basically like The Onion but aimed at a Christian audience.

I honestly thought it was real, knowing common core.
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ForestLogic posted...

Uhhhhhhhhh, dude, you do realize Babylon Bee is a satire site, right. It's basically like The Onion but aimed at a Christian audience.

MC_BatCommander posted...

there are way too many satirical news sites these days

ok whew
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Solar_Crimson posted...

MC_BatCommander posted...

there are way too many satirical news sites these days

It's easier with running a regular news site because you don't have to pretend you're telling the truth
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They actually have pretty funny stuff cuz they poke fun at Christianity itself sometimes.

I.e.
http://babylonbee.com/news/churchs-welcome-sign-updated-long-list-exceptions/
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If you honestly thought this was real, then all I have to say is wow.
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A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that Ugh, Im offended, Triggered, Trains scare me, Boston scares me, Milwaukee scares me, and Kill yourself, would all be scored as correct.

Seriously?

A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that Ugh, Im offended, Triggered, Trains scare me, Boston scares me, Milwaukee scares me, and Kill yourself, would all be scored as correct.

Too bad. This news suck and is now about trains.

On a side note, it seems like "smart quotes" (smart quotes) look better after that Unicode update.
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A train is a form of rail transport consisting of a series of connected vehicles that usually runs along a rail track to transport cargo or passengers. Motive power is provided by a separate locomotive or individual motors in self-propelled multiple units. Although historically steam propulsion dominated, the most common modern forms are diesel and electric locomotives, the latter supplied by overhead wires or additional rails. Other energy sources include horses, engine or water-driven rope or wire winch, gravity, pneumatics, batteries, and gas turbines. Train tracks usually consist of two running rails, sometimes supplemented by additional rails such as electric conducting rails and rack rails, with a limited number of monorails and maglev guideways in the mix. The word 'train' comes from the Old French trahiner, from the Latin trahere 'pull, draw'.

There are various types of trains that are designed for particular purposes. A train may consist of a combination of one or more locomotives and attached railroad cars, or a self-propelled multiple unit (or occasionally a single or articulated powered coach, called a railcar). The first trains were rope-hauled, gravity powered or pulled by horses. From the early 19th century almost all were powered by steam locomotives. From the 1910s onwards the steam locomotives began to be replaced by less labor-intensive and cleaner (but more complex and expensive) diesel locomotives and electric locomotives, while at about the same time self-propelled multiple unit vehicles of either power system became much more common in passenger service.

A passenger train is one which includes passenger-carrying vehicles which can often be very long and fast. One notable and growing long-distance train category is high-speed rail. In order to achieve much faster operation over 500 km/h (310 mph), innovative maglev technology has been researched for years. In most countries, such as the United Kingdom, the distinction between a tramway and a railway is precise and defined in law. The term light rail is sometimes used for a modern tram system, but it may also mean an intermediate form between a tram and a train, similar to a heavy rail rapid transit system except that it may have level crossings.

A freight train (also known as a goods train) uses freight cars (also known as wagons or trucks) to transport goods or materials (cargo). Freight and passengers may be carried in the same train in a mixed consist.

Rail cars and machinery used for maintenance and repair of tracks, etc., are termed maintenance of way equipment; these may be assembled into maintenance of way trains. Similarly, dedicated trains may be used to provide support services to stations along a train line, such as garbage or revenue collection.
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That_Happened posted...

If you honestly thought this was real, then all I have to say is wow.

You know what common core is right? I would not put it past them.
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It's hard to tell what's satire anymore it's so absurd.

UncleBourbon33 posted...

That_Happened posted...

If you honestly thought this was real, then all I have to say is wow.

You know what common core is right? I would not put it past them.

Yeah I know what it is, and it's shit. But it's not "feelings are acceptable answers to math problems" levels of shit. This was actually a Simpsons episode as a matter of fact.
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Lol
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UncleBourbon33 posted...

That_Happened posted...

If you honestly thought this was real, then all I have to say is wow.

You know what common core is right? I would not put it past them.

Ha ha ha ha

"I'm not a fool for believing in clear lies! It's their fault that I think they're capable of doing this!"
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Thanks, obama.
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