Current Events > I'm currently fostering to adopt three kids. Parenting is rough.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I applied for adoption over half a year ago. Two months ago, three girls were placed in our home as an emergency foster situation. The foster situation is currently turning into an adoption case (pending trial). I've been raising three little girls, ages 5, 4, and 2.

Jumping from 0-3 kids has been quite the life changer, as I had to completely redo my life to work around their schedules. At least with school starting again I have more time to myself and my work, but they are a handful. But I couldn't be happier. Those little buggers have tugged on the heart strings and I couldn't imagine letting them go anymore.

It'll be rough if the birth parents win the court case (which the case workers say they won't, but you never know).
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Do you have help? What is the back story to this?
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leverageblargh posted...

So what did the birth parents do to create the emergency situation in the first place?

Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse. At least what's been proven so far.

Sada_Pop posted...

Do you have help? What is the back story to this?

I have my wife to help, and we get monthly checks from the state for them. Basically we are acting as foster parents for kids who were removed from their home for the reasons stated above.
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TC, thanks for being a good dude. It's not my place to say where those girls should end up, but I hope it works out well for them and yourself
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So...if the birth parents lose the case, does that mean you official adopt the kids?
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Zanzenburger posted...

Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse. At least what's been proven so far.

yikes, so do you have to work with a caseworker or therapist or something with the kids? id imagine it must be super tough to be raised by someone other than your parents and adding physical/sexual abuse and neglect on top makes it even more difficult.

hope you get to keep the kids zanzenburger, i have seen you make so many posts on here with your struggles with the adoption process and i just want you to become a dad already
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Good luck man. I hope everything works out well for you guys
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vashmoto posted...

TC, thanks for being a good dude. It's not my place to say where those girls should end up, but I hope it works out well for them and yourself

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Those parents must be truly rotten people if the court isn't going to grant them custody of their biological children

Saxon posted...

Those parents must be truly rotten people if the court isn't going to grant them custody of their biological children

Well... yeah dude
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leverageblargh posted...

Is the court case for their conviction of these crimes or a custody battle?

Both. criminal trial in October and custody trial either September or November.

Mernardi posted...

So...if the birth parents lose the case, does that mean you official adopt the kids?

Yep. As the foster parents, we get first choice in getting the kids unless another extended family member requests them.

Romulox28 posted...

Zanzenburger posted...

Neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse. At least what's been proven so far.

yikes, so do you have to work with a caseworker or therapist or something with the kids? id imagine it must be super tough to be raised by someone other than your parents and adding physical/sexual abuse and neglect on top makes it even more difficult.

hope you get to keep the kids zanzenburger, i have seen you make so many posts on here with your struggles with the adoption process and i just want you to become a dad already

Yes, the two older ones are going to counseling. The 2 year old is too young to tell what effect it has on her. She already sees us as her real parents. The older ones know we are not their real parents but have accepted us as their caregivers for now. They do call us mom and dad already.

EDIT: To add to your second part about becoming a dad already, whether or not we keep them, I feel I've been a dad for two months and it has been amazing. After learning how to brush their hair, reading them bedtime stories, taking them to school, and making them dinner, I've been enjoying the role as parent even if they are not mine (yet).
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Hope everything works out for you and the girls as well.
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leverageblargh posted...

Are the birth parents junkies?

I have no clue, but I think it's safe to assume they are. The five year old did tell me her mom tried to get her to smoke a cigarette. If that give you an idea of the kind of people they are.
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Good luck, TC. Really hope it works out for all of you.

A friend of mine had just adopted (or maybe were fostering, and ended up adopting?) one infant girl, when out of the blue he and his wife ended up with his estranged brother's two kids, so basically went 0 to 3 (just a little lead time on the baby girl, not much) all at once.
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Just goes to show you don't have to be blood to be mom and dad to someone.

I applaud you for your efforts in adopting and the positive impact you've got on these kids.
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Are they white?
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leverageblargh posted...

Oh it's pretty clear they're shitty people but I was just thinking about how much of a problem they're going to be for you and those kids long-term, even if they're imprisoned.

If they're junkies, then their desire to get back the kids is probably temporary and their prime concern's always going to be to get their fix. Maybe they'll get their shit together in prison but it's unlikely.

But if they're straight up psychos who enjoy abusing kids and want them back so they have an easy target....well I doubt any amount of prison time's going to fix that and it's a problem you're going to be dealing with for a long, long time.

Do you know what those extended family members that you mentioned are like? Same sort of shit people or sane people that condemn what those two have done?

Well, they have no idea who we are or where their girls went. All they know is that the girls are in the state. They'd have a pretty hard time finding them even if they looked.

They were fostered for a while by extended family and from what the case worker told me, they were alright as parents, but they got tired of dealing with the girls' behavioral issues and gave them up willingly. It seems no other family seems interested.

My wife did some facebook stalking and found the family. Apparently the mom and dad are the black sheep of their respective families. The rest aren't as bad but they also don't seem at all interested in helping them out. The fact that an uncle took the kids and gave them up after a few months kinda shows they don't want to deal with the baggage.


myztikrice posted...

Are they white?

Yep.
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NES4EVER posted...

Just goes to show you don't have to be blood to be mom and dad to someone.

I applaud you for your efforts in adopting and the positive impact you've got on these kids.

Thanks
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