Current Events > Ex-girlfriend gave me a ride home last night

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Virus731
08/27/17 10:57:58 AM
#1:


She came inside and we started watching stuff. Her original plan was to go home but I was clever and put on her favorite episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm and she eventually (without saying) decided to stay the night. I brought her a blanket and we kind of just watched and talked for a while. Eventually she took off her boots and then later her bra, but she always does that when she goes to sleep. We cuddled and I gave her a massage but I didn't try and put any moves on her.

It'd been a long time since we had seen each other so we both had a good little d&m. She had been through a bit so I thought it'd be a bit insensitive to try and make moves on her. It just sucks because I don't know if I was just being a bit of a wuss about it... I just wouldn't want to put her in a position where she was uncomfortable by trying to kiss her or something.

I dunno if they'll be another chance to hang out, she is really slippery to get a hold of and talk to but maybe she'll be more trusting since I didn't try and just bang her.

ps. I'm still very much in love with her and seeing her again just kind of confirmed it, she was a little drunk but at one point she said she still loved me too
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iosifsvoboda
08/27/17 10:59:34 AM
#2:


Damn tc you let her come inside??
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pojr
08/27/17 11:05:31 AM
#3:


Why did she break up with you?
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Virus731
08/27/17 11:08:16 AM
#4:


iosifsvoboda posted...
Damn tc you let her come inside??


We were at a gig together and spent a lot of it in the car chatting about our relationship and just building some sort of closure. We were together for 2 years but it ended pretty abruptly and it was out of both of our control. Next time I saw her she was dating one of my friends and didn't talk to her until a few months ago when I learned they had broken up and she was in another country to find some peace of mind.

I said to her at one point while we were in the car "we should go back to mine, chill out and watch some bullshit" and she said "that would be pretty nice". I just don't know if that alone was enough of a go ahead. I remember saying to her or something "we should of had sex with the lights on more, I don't even remember what you look like naked" and she was being all like "pretty damn good, and I have amazing tits" and I was like "shhh don't say these things to me".

I really couldn't tell what was going on, but maybe she'll give me another chance to misread signals.
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Virus731
08/27/17 11:09:17 AM
#5:


pojr posted...
Why did she break up with you?


It was back in 2013 and I think it was because she didn't see us progressing enough. She decided to break it off even though she (says) that she still loved me, so it was a really hard thing for her to do. We were dating for about 2 years.
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Virus731
08/27/17 11:22:02 AM
#6:


come on, there must be some relationship experts on ce
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Trigg3rH4ppy
08/27/17 11:32:14 AM
#7:


Virus731 posted...
I don't even remember what you look like naked" and she was being all like "pretty damn good, and I have amazing tits" and I was like "shhh don't say these things to me".

This can't be real
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thelovefist
08/27/17 11:41:40 AM
#8:


This happened
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Virus731
08/27/17 11:43:13 AM
#9:


Trigg3rH4ppy posted...
Virus731 posted...
I don't even remember what you look like naked" and she was being all like "pretty damn good, and I have amazing tits" and I was like "shhh don't say these things to me".

This can't be real


It is.

thelovefist posted...
This happened


It did. I've mentioned this girl lots of times. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but the main times I post are Saturday-Tuesday because these are my work nights. Every week I give a piece of my life story because I'm bored af.
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Virus731
08/27/17 11:49:24 AM
#10:


Trigg3rH4ppy posted...
Virus731 posted...
I don't even remember what you look like naked" and she was being all like "pretty damn good, and I have amazing tits" and I was like "shhh don't say these things to me".

This can't be real


also I'm curious to know what you mean by this... you mean what I said to her or what she said to me?
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#11
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Virus731
08/27/17 12:06:05 PM
#12:


fenderbender321 posted...
Usually your "this happened" posts are spot on, but this one sounds pretty legit IMO.

TC, I'd say you played it fine. Sounds like maybe both of you were testing the waters a bit, so if there's any mutual interest, you're still good. If not, then it doesn't matter.


Yeah, I was thinking that "who makes such specific shit up and why would they?"

Yeah, I think that's what was happening too. I think I'm more eager for here than she is for me, but I think shes afraid of us hanging out because it might not be the best choice for us both as individuals. I've been told by friends just to play it cool and see how I go. I never expected in a million years she'd end up spending the night at my house, as she's incredibly popular with other people and it feels like she doesn't have time for me. I know a lot of guys are vying for her attention but I'm one of three boyfriends she's ever had and the only one that didn't cheat on her.
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pojr
08/27/17 12:29:54 PM
#13:


Well. It's been a few years, right? You were both younger, but now you're an adult. Give it another go and see what happens, yo
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Virus731
08/27/17 12:41:09 PM
#14:


pojr posted...
Well. It's been a few years, right? You were both younger, but now you're an adult. Give it another go and see what happens, yo


I think that was a big reason we broke up. She is two and a half years my senior and I think we were at different phases in life. I'm not sure we're at the same phase now, but it's worth a go I suppose. It's weird though, considering her history. She first met my friend back in 2010 and they dated (as exclusives) for about two weeks before he cheated on her. I gave it about a year and we started hanging out as friends and eventually dating... a year and a bit after we broke up her and my friend started dating again.

I guess it just seems a bit weird if she came back to dating me... considering my (ex)friend and I both have the same first name.
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#15
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:05:55 PM
#16:


JustMyOpinion posted...
You're still hung up on a girl from 2013? Geez, either ask her out or move on.


I dated a girl for two years in between 2013 and now, with several other casual kinda things as well. I never really got closure from this girl and she is the only one I can say I actually loved. The others were more bandaids so I didn't feel lonely. I'm only 24, I've still plenty of time to learn and grow.
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#17
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:17:45 PM
#18:


JustMyOpinion posted...
What does you being young have to do with anything? You're not going to look back when it's all said and done and think that wasting your time was a good idea. Shit or get off the pot.


I don't understand what you mean by "wasting time"? I think life is meant to be enjoyed and it's all a learning experience. Are you implying that I have to be with someone or else I'm wasting time? You're being purposefully callous to seem cool but you're not making the point you think you are.
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#19
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:22:05 PM
#20:


JustMyOpinion posted...
I'm implying (or rather I explicitly stated but I guess you forgot that) you should make a clear move and ask her out or move on. Anything else is wasting time.


I explicitly stated it was my idea for her to come back to my house, or did you not read the OP? When she dropped me off I told her to come over and I'd make her some food and she seemed to like the idea, but I have this paranoia that people just say things to be nice. I need to remember that she probably has the same amount of unresolved feelings for me as I have for her, rather than being worried that she's just being nice.
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 1:22:49 PM
#21:


Trigg3rH4ppy posted...
Virus731 posted...
I don't even remember what you look like naked" and she was being all like "pretty damn good, and I have amazing tits" and I was like "shhh don't say these things to me".

This can't be real

Why? If I was comfortable with someone I'd say the same kinds of things. She's being lighthearted and being confident when you can find an appropriate time to its makes those jokes pretty fun/funny
(I even did it on CE before, since the beauty of CE is that is has no way to affect my real life)
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:25:31 PM
#22:


LittleRoyal posted...
Why? If I was comfortable with someone I'd say the same kinds of things. She's being lighthearted and being confident when you can find an appropriate time to its makes those jokes pretty fun/funny
(I even did it on CE before, since the beauty of CE is that is has no way to affect my real life)


That's basically what it was. She lost her virginity at 20 and I met her at 21 so she was still a bit frigid for a while. Me on the other hand was like 18 at the time but I had a bit of sexual experience before her and I started dating, problem was I was really self-conscious. She was way out of my league and I dunno we were both kind of lights off people. We had sex bajillions of times but I can probably count the amount of times of lights on times with both hands... maybe need to use a toe or two.

It was hard when she was saying that though because I didn't know if it was some kind of invitation for a reminder or not, but the confidence was really sexy regardless.
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#23
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:30:10 PM
#24:


JustMyOpinion posted...
I said clear move, not pussyfooting around. What is their to gain from half-assed attempts where you can't be sure how she feels? It's gonna end whatever way it's gonna end with either method, but this just wastes less effort/time.


I see where you're coming from now and you're right to an extent, but also wrong. I feel that being like "ok u decide once and for all do u like me or not" comes off as needy as hell when we could just see how things go hanging out and what not. Our relationship started as friends and it took us about 6 months to make it "Facebook official" even though it was clear to everyone that we were very much in love.

I will still consider what you said and perhaps try and set a day and time for us to do something, rather than "we should catch up later for X".
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Riosiogo
08/27/17 1:31:55 PM
#25:


This sounds like a situation that happened to me I think last year.

I would give it a day or two and then ask her out on a date to gauge her interest. You know yourself and her better as a person to know what she could mean when she's drunk, how she acts when she's uncomfortable.

As a guy that is really bad with mixed signals and oblivious at times that's the approach I would go. Too much time not talking to her and she could be persuading herself all the reasons why it's not a good idea to date you. Coming off too soon may sound needy. But if you don't hit her up for say two weeks then she hits you up randomnly then safe to say there is more.
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Virus731
08/27/17 1:35:02 PM
#26:


Riosiogo posted...
I would give it a day or two and then ask her out on a date to gauge her interest. You know yourself and her better as a person to know what she could mean when she's drunk, how she acts when she's uncomfortable.


She never seemed uncomfortable and she wasn't drunk when we got back to my house. I thought I may have went a bit far when I told her to take her jacket off (I wanted to give her a massage), but she replied with "yes sir" and did it straight away and then said it's been so long since she got a massage. She also told me in passing that she hadn't had sex in 5 months.

Riosiogo posted...
As a guy that is really bad with mixed signals and oblivious at times that's the approach I would go. Too much time not talking to her and she could be persuading herself all the reasons why it's not a good idea to date you. Coming off too soon may sound needy. But if you don't hit her up for say two weeks then she hits you up randomnly then safe to say there is more.


That's basically what a female friend (who doesn't know my ex tooooo well said)

"Just play it cool for a while and then BAM! Bang the shit out of her"
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Riosiogo
08/27/17 1:53:08 PM
#27:


I don't know if you're wanting date her or just to have sex with her, but if you wanted to have sex with her last night you could have done it. Assuming if you do the right moves methodically. While it is nice to talk I kind of learned to take most things girls say with a grain of salt. Actions speak a bit more, and the way you described her body language does seem good.

For dating wise, one thing I have noticed is if a girl is interested she usually asks questions like, "so do you plan on going to this school?" Questions that involve asking a bit about your future or more about you directly (while being indirect). Now, I don't know how much this plays when your trying to spark an old flame because sometimes we just talk to vent or say whatever is on our minds. Again I never gotten back with an ex (yet).

Also, one thing I've also been on/off about is asking a girl for a girl advice. If anything I would ask a girl what the girl I'm interested in might be thinking if really confused. But when a girl gives me her advice I'm starting to think that is how *they* would want to be treated if that makes sense. Most of the advice I followed from female friends usually does not end as well.

Iunno girls are confusing at times, especially if you're just really oblivious (like me) and then realize later what they were implying
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 2:05:38 PM
#28:


Virus731 posted...
LittleRoyal posted...
Why? If I was comfortable with someone I'd say the same kinds of things. She's being lighthearted and being confident when you can find an appropriate time to its makes those jokes pretty fun/funny
(I even did it on CE before, since the beauty of CE is that is has no way to affect my real life)


That's basically what it was. She lost her virginity at 20 and I met her at 21 so she was still a bit frigid for a while. Me on the other hand was like 18 at the time but I had a bit of sexual experience before her and I started dating, problem was I was really self-conscious. She was way out of my league and I dunno we were both kind of lights off people. We had sex bajillions of times but I can probably count the amount of times of lights on times with both hands... maybe need to use a toe or two.

It was hard when she was saying that though because I didn't know if it was some kind of invitation for a reminder or not, but the confidence was really sexy regardless.

Honestly I'm sorry it's so confusing. Play it safe but when you can, make sure she knows you have feelings.

I'm weird but I don't really think anything s ever truly over. You can try more, just stay not-creepy.
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Virus731
08/27/17 2:29:50 PM
#29:


Riosiogo posted...
I don't know if you're wanting date her or just to have sex with her, but if you wanted to have sex with her last night you could have done it. Assuming if you do the right moves methodically. While it is nice to talk I kind of learned to take most things girls say with a grain of salt. Actions speak a bit more, and the way you described her body language does seem good.


I probably had the go ahead but I didn't want to ruin the nice time we were already having I guess.

Riosiogo posted...
For dating wise, one thing I have noticed is if a girl is interested she usually asks questions like, "so do you plan on going to this school?" Questions that involve asking a bit about your future or more about you directly (while being indirect). Now, I don't know how much this plays when your trying to spark an old flame because sometimes we just talk to vent or say whatever is on our minds. Again I never gotten back with an ex (yet).


On Facebook she doesn't seem that interested in my life but I don't think she enjoys conversing over Facebook much. In real life she is far more interested.

Riosiogo posted...
Also, one thing I've also been on/off about is asking a girl for a girl advice. If anything I would ask a girl what the girl I'm interested in might be thinking if really confused. But when a girl gives me her advice I'm starting to think that is how *they* would want to be treated if that makes sense. Most of the advice I followed from female friends usually does not end as well.

Iunno girls are confusing at times, especially if you're just really oblivious (like me) and then realize later what they were implying


Yeah. V confusing.

LittleRoyal posted...
Honestly I'm sorry it's so confusing. Play it safe but when you can, make sure she knows you have feelings.

I'm weird but I don't really think anything s ever truly over. You can try more, just stay not-creepy.


Yeah, I think the more we talk the more I'll figure this out. I just really distinctly remember her saying that she still loves me in the car, but it was in passing and we just kept talking about the actual subject. I really don't know how to read that.
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Virus731
08/27/17 2:36:50 PM
#30:


Just caught a girl giving a dude a BJ at the top of a stairwell at my work. The nerve.
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_Kowalski_
08/27/17 2:38:20 PM
#31:


Virus731 posted...
Just caught a girl giving a dude a BJ at the top of a stairwell at my work. The nerve.


Nice. Lol.
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 2:42:09 PM
#32:


TC things i say to mt friends without thought are usually very serious and from the heart but aren't taken that way.

That doesn't mean she's loves you and wants to be with you

She might! It's just, I think she definitely loves you but she may still believe that you're not right for her.


Seems like she wants a relationship to progress and eventually find marriage. I think if you're not ready for something very serious it may not be right for you either.
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Virus731
08/27/17 2:47:45 PM
#33:


LittleRoyal posted...
TC things i say to mt friends without thought are usually very serious and from the heart but aren't taken that way.

That doesn't mean she's loves you and wants to be with you



Oh yeah, I know that. To me it just meant that she still has love (=time) for me, or that there is still a bit inside her that is still attached to me.

LittleRoyal posted...
Seems like she wants a relationship to progress and eventually find marriage. I think if you're not ready for something very serious it may not be right for you either.


Nah, she doesn't want to be in a relationship let alone get married. She only broke up with my friend back in May I think, then she went overseas for a 3 months. Her wounds are still pretty fresh so I don't want to rush her into anything, I just want to be with her.

We sat on my bed and talked for hours while watching bullshit and then both ate half a Seroquel and fell asleep. It was so nice. I just want to be friends with benefits or something, at least for now.
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 2:50:05 PM
#34:


Virus731 posted...
LittleRoyal posted...
TC things i say to mt friends without thought are usually very serious and from the heart but aren't taken that way.

That doesn't mean she's loves you and wants to be with you



Oh yeah, I know that. To me it just meant that she still has love (=time) for me, or that there is still a bit inside her that is still attached to me.

LittleRoyal posted...
Seems like she wants a relationship to progress and eventually find marriage. I think if you're not ready for something very serious it may not be right for you either.


Nah, she doesn't want to be in a relationship let alone get married. She only broke up with my friend back in May I think, then she went overseas for a 3 months. Her wounds are still pretty fresh so I don't want to rush her into anything, I just want to be with her.

We sat on my bed and talked for hours while watching bullshit and then both ate half a Seroquel and fell asleep. It was so nice. I just want to be friends with benefits or something, at least for now.


Umm oh. I thought when she broke up with you since the relationship wasn't progressing, it meant she wanted deeper stuff.
Well if this whole thing isn't about you trying to get someone you love back and is all about sex then I'm out lol
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Virus731
08/27/17 2:56:42 PM
#35:


LittleRoyal posted...
Umm oh. I thought when she broke up with you since the relationship wasn't progressing, it meant she wanted deeper stuff.
Well if this whole thing isn't about you trying to get someone you love back and is all about sex then I'm out lol


No, it was more that I was a few years behind her and maturity and she was sick of picking up the slack. Basically she didn't want to be my mother and girlfriend.

LittleRoyal posted...
Well if this whole thing isn't about you trying to get someone you love back and is all about sex then I'm out lol


It's not just about sex, I don't know where you got that from as in the OP I stated I very much love her. I just don't think being in a relationship is the answer right now.
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 3:10:51 PM
#36:


You're saying you love her and stuff

But this topic was made because you're worried you missed your chance be FWB. Just rubs me the wrong way.

Idk I don't see it ending well and don't wanna give advice or be part of it.

But I still hope it ends well for her and for you
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Virus731
08/27/17 3:14:00 PM
#37:


LittleRoyal posted...
But this topic was made because you're worried you missed your chance be FWB. Just rubs me the wrong way.


I don't see how that could rub you the wrong way unless your some kind of white knight or something. I find it odd that you even have any thoughts on it.

LittleRoyal posted...
Idk I don't see it ending well and don't wanna give advice or be part of it.

But I still hope it ends well for her and for you


You sound like a weirdo, no offense. FWB would just be while we test the waters and see if we should give our relationship a chance, it's not the end game.
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LittleRoyal
08/27/17 4:06:12 PM
#38:


Okay~
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Virus731
08/27/17 5:26:44 PM
#39:


Maybe a tiny bump.
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DevsBro
08/27/17 5:36:09 PM
#40:


tr;dr

She came inside

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Offworlder1
08/27/17 5:44:11 PM
#41:


It sounds like your atill not mature enough for a relationship if your just wanting fwb, 3 months is enough time to get over someone if they were not dating for very long.

Honestly I feel you missed your chance to have sex with her when she was at your place, she was giving you all the signals and you just ignored them. A man would have bedded her and tried to get a relationship going again instead of wasting time.
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#42
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Virus731
08/27/17 6:47:37 PM
#43:


Offworlder1 posted...
It sounds like your atill not mature enough for a relationship if your just wanting fwb, 3 months is enough time to get over someone if they were not dating for very long.

Honestly I feel you missed your chance to have sex with her when she was at your place, she was giving you all the signals and you just ignored them. A man would have bedded her and tried to get a relationship going again instead of wasting time.


It's just a show of respect that I don't want to just bang her. You guys are focusing on this FWB thing way too hard.

JustMyOpinion posted...
TC has no idea what he wants and even if he does I don't think he has the maturity to go about it in the right way.


You're just being that way because I don't think your advice applies to my situation, which is understandable because every situation is different.
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Sativa_Rose
08/27/17 7:03:17 PM
#44:


If an ex voluntarily goes into your house after dropping you off it's pretty much safe to assume she wants to bang you.
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Offworlder1
08/27/17 7:05:39 PM
#45:


Sativa_Rose posted...
If an ex voluntarily goes into your house after dropping you off it's pretty much safe to assume she wants to bang you.

He is still a boy, he does not understand the signals she was giving, unless she stripped naked and said "I want you to bang me" I think he would remain clueless.
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Sativa_Rose
08/27/17 7:06:39 PM
#46:


He probably has more experience with girlfriends than I do, yet even I know this :P
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Offworlder1
08/27/17 7:09:16 PM
#47:


@Sativa_Rose

He could also just be too stupid or unwilling to take a risk for a great reward, that reward being to kick off a relationship again.

No man would have missed this opportunity unless completely uninterested in dating her again.
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Virus731
08/27/17 7:14:12 PM
#48:


Sativa_Rose posted...
If an ex voluntarily goes into your house after dropping you off it's pretty much safe to assume she wants to bang you.


I know >_< I've said this to myself a million times, if a girl lets you on her bed, or gets onto yours, it's pretty much fair game. I just had a vibe that I should try and respect her boundaries and not complicate things too much yet.

Offworlder1 posted...
Sativa_Rose posted...
If an ex voluntarily goes into your house after dropping you off it's pretty much safe to assume she wants to bang you.

He is still a boy, he does not understand the signals she was giving, unless she stripped naked and said "I want you to bang me" I think he would remain clueless.


I'm not good with signs... and I've had a chick do that once and she basically said "you could have done this weeks ago"

Offworlder1 posted...
@Sativa_Rose

He could also just be too stupid or unwilling to take a risk for a great reward, that reward being to kick off a relationship again.

No man would have missed this opportunity unless completely uninterested in dating her again.


Yeah, whatever man. Some things are worth giving some time instead of moving straight into it. When we first started hanging out she made me wait a month before we even banged because it's not something she takes that lightly... I don't think. This was an opportunity but I don't feel as if it's a fading one, I just need another encounter.

I've told her that I want her to come over tonight so I can cook for her and she seems really receptive to the idea. If she comes over for that then I'll definitely be able to read the signs better.

I'm horrible at reading signs, so excuse me being defensive.
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Offworlder1
08/27/17 7:22:22 PM
#49:


@Virus731
Sounds like you need some practice, no offense but what if she was really horny but you decided not to go for it to "give her time" and she found someone else to scratch that itch, you not only lost your shot but she no longer considers you for a relationship. That kinda shit does happen too so instead of pussy footing about you need to man up and go for it.

Women are fickly and unless you start being more assertive your going to still be seen as a "boy" by most women.
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Bok_Choi
08/27/17 7:23:00 PM
#50:


Virus731 posted...
She came inside

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