Current Events > Everyone's FREAKING out about the ECLIPSE.

(+) Yeah! (+)

So please calm down and I am gonna give you some important tips.

1) the eclipse is the scariest thing you will ever see in your entire life and you can't avoid it

2) every time an Eclipse happens there is a 30% chance the sun will blast the Moon down at earth very fast so prepare for that possibility

3) eclipse glasses will protect your eye balls but you will look like an INCREDIBLE NERD which comes with its own risks and if I see any nerds outside today so help me God

4) ice cream becomes poisonous during an eclipse

5) poison becomes ice creamous

6) All snakes die. yes this is true but they come back tomorrow

7) the spider web that connects the moon and the sun gets very hot so Do Not Touch It

8) scientists will be measuring how big the eclipse is so do not disturb them because they are very curious and weird

9) You cannot swim during an eclipse. It's just how it is. get out of the pool now

10) The eclipse is the way the Sun and Moon says "thank you" to everyone in the USA for being very good girls and boys this year and not cursing too much. we did a good job everyone and we should be proud of this

I'm printing this out for 2024
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