Current Events > Funny Bible verses

(+) Yeah! (+)

Know any others?

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

2 Kings 2:23-25
---

And He said unto them, “Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive that whatsoever thing from outside entereth into a man, it cannot defile him, because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly and goeth out into the drain, thereby purging all meats?”
And He said, “That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man.

Mark 7:18-20
---

Damn_Underscore posted...

Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

I thought they were "She-bears" in that passage
---

Bloodychess posted...

Damn_Underscore posted...

Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

I thought they were "She-bears" in that passage

there are different translations
---

Yet she multiplied her harlotries, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the harlot in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their paramours, whose flesh is like the flesh of donkeys and whose issue is like the issue of horses. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom because of the breasts of your youth.

Ezekiel 23:19-21
---

The writers of the Bible put quite a number of references with donkey/horse penis.
---

All of them.

Because it's all made up
---