Current Events > Jurassic World has to be one of the most annoying movies I've seen of late

(+) Yeah! (+)

God, where to start.

Annoying teenager gets a free trip to literally the most amazing freakin' island ever and he acts sullen and bored the entire time. Annoying kid protagonist that cries all the time and acts like a 5 year old even though he's clearly like 10.

Annoying "super genius mad scientist" archetype who was smart enough to invent a super intelligent super large super psycho dinosaur that somehow has every single useful dinosaur trait, but at the same time too stupid to consider how a single ordinary wall would be nowhere near enough to contain the fucking thing.

And he didn't even tell any of his staff anything this fucking thing would be capable of. Like being able to camoflage and hide his thermal output was just a casual afterthought?

Annoying female lead who is like a caricature of annoying women. And she wears those stupid heels the entire film.

None of the guards have anything approaching dinosaur protective gear. Their plan to take down the t-rex5000 is to walk up to it with some regular shotguns and hope for the best? Da fuck?

It's like they built this entire park with zero safety features. Canoing next to dinosaurs, and those gyrosphere things which apparently anyone is allowed to drive just about anywhere.

And that Hoskins guy. How does a fat fuck like that end up as head of security detail on such a high profile project? That guy isn't fit to be security at your local H&M.

The reason the Indominus is such a psycho is apparently because it hasn't been socialized properly and it's also a weird hybrid. Didn't stop it from perfectly controlling the raptors instantly though did it?

Unrealistic romance sideplot. I mean, that woman is one of the most responsible for all the death in the movie. Her complete incompetence at management and greed lead to the deaths of hundreds of people in the end. Owen was mad about how they treat the animals, and he was the one warning them and pleading with them to do things differently. He told her flat out that people would die, and she ignored him. Add to all this they already went on a date and didn't get on at all. But somehow he still falls for this woman in like 10 minutes, because... she's pretty? The actual development of this should have been him standing before a jury and explaining why she's part responsible for the tragedy.

Now these are all just specific things that irked me, but I think the overarching problem with this movie is how fucking predictable it is. The characters and the plot all just feels like it was done using a formula, and none of the characters make sense. It's like the hollywood execs had some character archetypes that they just requested be added to the movie.
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The same as all movies these days, just with dinosaurs.
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It is a movie that probably actually was mainly created by executives for easy money, tbh. They just had to throw some basic crap into a hastily built Hollywood "assembly line" and slap the "Jurassic" label on the output and knew they could sell it for $$$.
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The fucking jeep had been sitting in the forest for 20 years and 2 kids with a battery and a monkey wrench got it fired up in 30 minutes? Yeah, fuck no.
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I can't stress just how much her wearing those shoes the entire time really pissed me off. The whole "it's classified" nonsense too. Like mother fucker you just had a whole bunch of people die but nope, not gonna tell you what we put in it.