Current Events > black women are generally disliked in the dating scene

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://theblog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009-2014-107dcbb4f060

Has Anything Changed?

In some ways, no. OkCupid users are certainly no more open-minded than they used to be. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit. Here are the numbers for 2009 till now

These numbers reflect different people year-to-year. Together the charts fold in data from some 25 million accounts.

what went wrong?
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Blm
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Asian women think asian men are insufferable?
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So are short men, but nobody cares about us
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frozenshock posted...

Asian women think asian men are insufferable?

Most of them kind of are

FightingGames posted...

what went wrong?

Radical intersectional feminism.
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This isn't the first study to reveal this info. Black women simply aren't as attractive to men, even black men, as other races are.
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A lot of this was due to Obama. He was very good at dividing people by race and spreading such animosity.
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DifferentialEquation posted...

A lot of this was due to Obama. He was very good at dividing people by race and spreading such animosity.

Obama came in at a time of unprecedented crisis. He united the country with the most bi-partisan administration in history.
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I think black women are thicc af but they aren't into geeky Latino bois like me. :C
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DifferentialEquation posted...

A lot of this was due to Obama. He was very good at dividing people by race and spreading such animosity.

7/10 guaranteed bites on ce.
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Are there any race-blind dating apps?
Not that I want one, because I don't. But this study's got me thinking, it'd be kinda surprised if it hasn't happened.
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White women dislike white men more than any of the other races. :u Explains why CE is so bitter I guess.
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Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.
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more for me hnnnggggg
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hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

I've never really noticed the media focusing on that sort of stereotype for black women. It could also just be because they tend to be overweight.
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fuzzylittlbunny posted...

hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

I've never really noticed the media focusing on that sort of stereotype for black women. It could also just be because they tend to be overweight.

I blame southern food.
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My sister said as much. Now she believes that other races only date black women as a fetish.
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fuzzylittlbunny posted...

hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

I've never really noticed the media focusing on that sort of stereotype for black women. It could also just be because they tend to be overweight.

Although it's true that most black women in the U.S. are at a minimum overweight, most women in the U.S. are at a minimum overweight
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I love my wife, I liked her in high school....but her sister is one of the most insufferable people I've ever met. The problem is that media almost always portrays them with certain stereotypes and that transcends into the real world. Some of them fit that stereotype and it furthers the narrative that they are all like that.

I don't get on those dating sites, but I imagine most of them on there fit that narrative because they are the insufferable ones who couldn't find someone in real life....like my sister-in-law. She met her guy on Tinder (I'm still convinced they are only together because she got pregnant....).
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Speaking as a loser black guy who's spent a lot of time on dating sites and is now dating a black girl, this is not surprising. Black women, taken as a whole, make bad profiles. "Bad" as in they are less appealing to men (or, to me) than those of other girls.

In DC at least, a black girl's profile is loads more likely to include some silly Instagram filter or some overly-serious mission statement about their life and what they're looking for. "Hardworking, honest, loyal woman of GOD looking for someone who isn't afraid to be a real man." Under a picture of an otherwise cute girl with cat eyes/ears pouting in a public restroom.

And like, if you're into the culture, that's cool. If you're the kind of person who says "woke" and "sis" on a daily basis, that's cool. But if you're not, then it's off-putting and you don't want to deal with it. If you're the type of person who likes to be challenged out of the gate, then that kind of thing can be cool. But when there's 20 white girls who just want to smoke pot and go to Chipotle, with pictures of them doing fun shit and smiling, it's not a hard choice.

It's all a sort of signal.

There's ratchet girls of all races, but black people try to elevate ratchet to be a significant subset of their culture, and it turns people off. Especially on dating websites. And that in turn can make people dismiss you out of hand as a race. I think I've gotten one Asian match in my two years on Tinder, and while I'm not like super attractive, I think a lot of it is due to perceived cultural differences rather than anything else. To the point that I stick mass-media approved stuff in my profile as a counter-signal. "Love Game of Thrones and Radiohead, please don't ignore me."
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If only we had black CEgals to chime in :/
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CaloFragilistic posted...

or some overly-serious mission statement about their life and what they're looking for. "Hardworking, honest, loyal woman of GOD looking for someone who isn't afraid to be a real man."

Man this is too true. Although to be fair in my case, i don't know what the average profile of other races of women looked like. For the brief period I did online dating, I never really got around to looking at too many others.

But in particular, per a OK Cupid study I read a long time ago, black women were by far the most likely group of people to have things about god, jesus, scripture, etc on their profile and that certainly off putting to many. I usually just ignored those.
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CaloFragilistic posted...

Speaking as a loser black guy who's spent a lot of time on dating sites and is now dating a black girl, this is not surprising. Black women, taken as a whole, make bad profiles. "Bad" as in they are less appealing to men (or, to me) than those of other girls.

In DC at least, a black girl's profile is loads more likely to include some silly Instagram filter or some overly-serious mission statement about their life and what they're looking for. "Hardworking, honest, loyal woman of GOD looking for someone who isn't afraid to be a real man." Under a picture of an otherwise cute girl with cat eyes/ears pouting in a public restroom.

And like, if you're into the culture, that's cool. If you're the kind of person who says "woke" and "sis" on a daily basis, that's cool. But if you're not, then it's off-putting and you don't want to deal with it. If you're the type of person who likes to be challenged out of the gate, then that kind of thing can be cool. But when there's 20 white girls who just want to smoke pot and go to Chipotle, with pictures of them doing fun shit and smiling, it's not a hard choice.

It's all a sort of signal.

There's ratchet girls of all races, but black people try to elevate ratchet to be a significant subset of their culture, and it turns people off. Especially on dating websites. And that in turn can make people dismiss you out of hand as a race. I think I've gotten one Asian match in my two years on Tinder, and while I'm not like super attractive, I think a lot of it is due to perceived cultural differences rather than anything else. To the point that I stick mass-media approved stuff in my profile as a counter-signal. "Love Game of Thrones and Radiohead, please don't ignore me."

So much this.
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OpheliaAdenade posted...

White women dislike white men more than any of the other races. :u Explains why CE is so bitter I guess.

Uh, don't think you're reading that chart right.

Anyway, yeah, black men and women have it the worst, that's pretty clear. Asian girls actually seem to be the most coveted racial group of women, which is interesting. White and latino men are also fairly close overall.
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And somehow every1 still jealous of the black man's BBC.
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CaloFragilistic posted...

Speaking as a loser black guy who's spent a lot of time on dating sites and is now dating a black girl, this is not surprising. Black women, taken as a whole, make bad profiles. "Bad" as in they are less appealing to men (or, to me) than those of other girls.

In DC at least, a black girl's profile is loads more likely to include some silly Instagram filter or some overly-serious mission statement about their life and what they're looking for. "Hardworking, honest, loyal woman of GOD looking for someone who isn't afraid to be a real man." Under a picture of an otherwise cute girl with cat eyes/ears pouting in a public restroom.

And like, if you're into the culture, that's cool. If you're the kind of person who says "woke" and "sis" on a daily basis, that's cool. But if you're not, then it's off-putting and you don't want to deal with it. If you're the type of person who likes to be challenged out of the gate, then that kind of thing can be cool. But when there's 20 white girls who just want to smoke pot and go to Chipotle, with pictures of them doing fun shit and smiling, it's not a hard choice.

It's all a sort of signal.

There's ratchet girls of all races, but black people try to elevate ratchet to be a significant subset of their culture, and it turns people off. Especially on dating websites. And that in turn can make people dismiss you out of hand as a race. I think I've gotten one Asian match in my two years on Tinder, and while I'm not like super attractive, I think a lot of it is due to perceived cultural differences rather than anything else. To the point that I stick mass-media approved stuff in my profile as a counter-signal. "Love Game of Thrones and Radiohead, please don't ignore me."

Holy shit this reeks of insecurity. I'm sorry black women who have their shit together and don't want to just "smoke pot and go to chipotle" intimidate you.

But this is what it comes down to. A lot of men (especially those in their 20s) typically don't have their shit together, so when they go on these dating sites, they're looking for people who won't rock the boat in that regard. Black women aren't as obviously willing to indulge that, so they get put to the side in favor of the girls with selfies taking during the day holding or coors light or some shit like that. Basically, immature men want immature women and black women typically aren't here for that
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hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

Best post in the topic the way the media handles black women has such a negative effect on others perception of them.
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gamepimp12 posted...

hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

Best post in the topic the way the media handles black women has such a negative effect on others perception of them.

I was explaining this to my Asian best friend that said that it wasn't something that he ever noticed and then I started explaining it to him giving him examples and then showed him this Progressive commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofnl6OaWLV4

It's practically every negative personality stereotype of black women wrapped into 30 seconds.

Immediately upon seeing that, he understood.
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FrisbeeDude posted...

Holy s*** this reeks of insecurity. I'm sorry black women who have their s*** together and don't want to just "smoke pot and go to chipotle" intimidate you.

But this is what it comes down to. A lot of men (especially those in their 20s) typically don't have their s*** together

or you know

people like to start their dating relationships by focusing on having fun and enjoying themselves, and not rushing into commitments on date#1

that isn't a function of maturity (if anything it's the mature thing to do)

suggesting someone embrace high levels of responsibility from date #1 tells the viewer that you are jaded as hell from past experiences and will carry that negativity to the relationship, while also implying you view a relationship as more about catering to your needs than having fun together

all in all such a person is not fun to be with, so most will stay away.

the only thing less effective is trying to shame people for making that decision.
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Darkman124 posted...

FrisbeeDude posted...

Holy s*** this reeks of insecurity. I'm sorry black women who have their s*** together and don't want to just "smoke pot and go to chipotle" intimidate you.

But this is what it comes down to. A lot of men (especially those in their 20s) typically don't have their s*** together

or you know

people like to start their dating relationships by focusing on having fun and enjoying themselves, and not rushing into commitments on date#1

that isn't a function of maturity (if anything it's the mature thing to do)

Rushing into commitments on date one...

This is exactly the type of bullshit black women have to deal with that other races don't
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FrisbeeDude posted...

Rushing into commitments on date one...

This is exactly the type of bulls*** black women have to deal with that other races don't

am i arguing with a troll here? i am honestly not sure

you literally just said that yourself:

FrisbeeDude posted...

A lot of men (especially those in their 20s) typically don't have their s*** together, so when they go on these dating sites, they're looking for people who won't rock the boat in that regard. Black women aren't as obviously willing to indulge that, so they get put to the side in favor of the girls with selfies taking during the day holding or coors light or some s*** like that.

i dont know how else to interpret "insecure, immature people just want to have fun on date #1"
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Cjs dowg with better grammar.
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It's never the black woman's fault.
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sidenote i want to mention that hollow_shrine makes an excellent point about built-in assumptions people have about black girls as a result of media and that is absolutely part of it
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i dated a black girl before

shes a bitch but idont think that correlates to her skin color
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Letron_James posted...

shes a b**** but idont think that correlates to her skin color

I was going to say it correlates to her gen-

Ok i will stop now.
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I knew this really cute black girl in high school. The school had a high mix of low income and medium income students. She was one of the few black girls I knew in that school that didn't confirm to those stereotypes and she was very popular. The other girls though... not so much...
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My last girlfriend was a black chick with a tiny waist and HUGE tits. She was almost perfect to me, but she has a huge Korean boy fetish and I'm not a cute Korean boi so she lost interest pretty quick. :(
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hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

This.
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Darkman124 posted...

sidenote i want to mention that hollow_shrine makes an excellent point about built-in assumptions people have about black girls as a result of media and that is absolutely part of it

Yeap you ever notice a lot of the "most attractive women in the world" are typically women with black features but aren't black or have extremely light skintones
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frozenshock posted...

Asian women think asian men are insufferable?

Maybe they have insufficient data if you know what I'm saying :P
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gamepimp12 posted...

hollow_shrine posted...

Mass media has given black women an image problem. They're all portrayed as angry loudmouths, or unfaithful opportunists looking to entrap some poor well-meaning man in a financially abusive relationship by locking him down with some kids, or cold joyless executive types who strictly manage their romances like they manage everything else in their lives and have little time to just chill. All f them are materialistic AF and won't stop comparing all the men in their lives to light-skinned black celebrities like Drake.

So you know, just garden variety sexism accented with a bit of colorism. Nothing new here.

Best post in the topic the way the media handles black women has such a negative effect on others perception of them.

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Evolician posted...

My last girlfriend was a black chick with a tiny waist and HUGE tits. She was almost perfect to me, but she has a huge Korean boy fetish and I'm not a cute Korean boi so she lost interest pretty quick. :(

This didnt happen, nice try though.

Anyways, i dont like to generalize people. Alot of the black women i have encountered fit the stereotypes though. Something thats weird to me is they act confrontational, no nonsense but then almost all have babies by the time they are 21.
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Yes they think we are insufferable :_:;
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gamepimp12 posted...

Darkman124 posted...

sidenote i want to mention that hollow_shrine makes an excellent point about built-in assumptions people have about black girls as a result of media and that is absolutely part of it

Yeap you ever notice a lot of the "most attractive women in the world" are typically women with black features but aren't black or have extremely light skintones

I don't like their big lips!!
*dreams about kissing Angelina Jolie's big lips*
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Twin3Turbo posted...

gamepimp12 posted...

Darkman124 posted...

sidenote i want to mention that hollow_shrine makes an excellent point about built-in assumptions people have about black girls as a result of media and that is absolutely part of it

Yeap you ever notice a lot of the "most attractive women in the world" are typically women with black features but aren't black or have extremely light skintones

I don't like their big lips!!
*dreams about kissing Angelina Jolie's big lips*

Sadly.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

gamepimp12 posted...

Darkman124 posted...

sidenote i want to mention that hollow_shrine makes an excellent point about built-in assumptions people have about black girls as a result of media and that is absolutely part of it

Yeap you ever notice a lot of the "most attractive women in the world" are typically women with black features but aren't black or have extremely light skintones

I don't like their big lips!!
*dreams about kissing Angelina Jolie's big lips*

Lol, no. I don't think anyone who finds big lips unattractive "dreams about Angelina Jolie's big lips". Maybe her tits.
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full lips, curvy bodies and nice asses aren't "black features". Plenty of women with no black blood have these, it's sometimes embarrassing to share a race with people who think like that.
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FrisbeeDude posted...
Holy shit this reeks of insecurity. I'm sorry black women who have their shit together and don't want to just "smoke pot and go to chipotle" intimidate you.

But this is what it comes down to. A lot of men (especially those in their 20s) typically don't have their shit together, so when they go on these dating sites, they're looking for people who won't rock the boat in that regard. Black women aren't as obviously willing to indulge that, so they get put to the side in favor of the girls with selfies taking during the day holding or coors light or some shit like that. Basically, immature men want immature women and black women typically aren't here for that

That's one way to take what I wrote. I don't think that maturity means all that you think it means. I mean, I guess Jay-Z and Beyonce have a mature relationship in terms of how they've both grown their brand, but I really hope they like each other at the end of the day, you know?

And if that's what you're looking for in a relationship--a stable foundation on which to build prosperity--then fine. I want to find someone who makes my days better emotionally. The pot/Chipotle thing is obviously an oversimplification, but who would you rather hang out with? Someone who legit is looking to have a good time, or someone who has a checklist which you're already not filling out completely? I'm not trying to give you false dichotomies, but that's how I see it in a nutshell.

Strong women very well might intimidate me. But at the end of the day, it's just not what I want. And that might lead to the dissolution of my current relationship, if she "wises up" and moves on to someone more motivated, more willing to check the boxes. But I'm not going to spend my life chasing something that I don't believe in. If your viewpoint is viable, perhaps mine is as well.
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