Current Events > Funny how somebody can feel like your soul mate online...

(+) Yeah! (+)

then when you meet it's awkward AF. Took this girl out and had to end the date after supper, was supposed to go to a movie afterwards but I called it off (pretended I got a call about a family emergency and told her I had to go). I'm never going through that experience again, I'm only going on dates with people I already know/ hung out with (so in other words, never).
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What exactly made it awkward?
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My BFF is like amazing and perfect in text, but in person she is sometimes hard to deal with, due to her delivery and tones. It happens.

With people that have good hearts, and good intentions, sometimes you can...coach them if you will. I'm sure your situation is different though.
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Soviet_Poland posted...

What exactly made it awkward?

I don't know. We met at the restaurant; ordered, and just kinda just sat there.
Our entire conversation went basically like this:

Me: "So how you been?"

Her: "Good."

Me. "...me too."

and what was basically it. We said one or two more things to each other but yeah we spent most of the time on our phones. So I texted my cousin telling him to phone me and I left in the middle of the meal. I gave her enough for the meal and cab home. I was thinking of giving it another chance since I don't get much dates but she gave me a one word reply when I texted her so I guess that's that. The thing we had going is pretty much dead.
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No offense, bro, but what happened on that date is a two person deal. While she wasn't really talkative, neither were you.
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orangefire25 posted...

No offense, bro, but what happened on that date is a two person deal. While she wasn't really talkative, neither were you.

It not that she wasn't talkative, she was giving me a vibe like she didn't want to be there / was disappointed in me even though we both know what we look like. I kinda wish we did 'hang out as friends' thing first since even being friends at this point it doesn't seem like it's going to happen. Hell, I wish we never even met in person, just having somebody to talk to was nice. Now I feel ****ing lonely and kind of depressed.
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Do you think I should take this to the advice board?
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I wonder what her deal is then. It's not like she showed up and was disappointed with your appearance if she already knew what you looked like.

I've been there before too, though. Where you're genuinely trying and the girl is just giving one word answers that don't really further the conversation. I just try to get through the dinner or whatever and get out of there, lol.
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Soviet_Poland posted...

What exactly made it awkward?

TC did.
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Don't blame the girl. Blame yourself for not leading a good conversation.
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alexander37 posted...

Soviet_Poland posted...

What exactly made it awkward?

TC did.

Maybe I did? Maybe I built this night up too much in my head. Now I'm thinking maybe I was expecting too much of her, maybe I should have just followed through with the rest of the date that night. She most certainly knows I bailed and faked the family emergency phone call. Maybe she's in the position I'm in and blaming herself. I think I might come clean with her. I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all. Maybe I'm straight up overthinking everything? Should I give this situation more time?
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Not on dates, but I have been in situations where the person barely gave responses. All you can do is keep thinking of different questions to ask.
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It might be worth it to text her and ask why she was so quiet.

"If you're just not interested that's fine, but I want you to be honest with me so I can move on."

If you're both introverts, though, this is something that just happens. People tend to be more open when it's just text on a screen, so the disparity between that version of her and the girl in person is expected. I'm sure the same is true of you also. She could be feeling just as insecure about the meeting for all you know. I think you should try to at least get a straight answer from her so you can move on.
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Syko_Darksyde posted...

alexander37 posted...

Soviet_Poland posted...

What exactly made it awkward?

TC did.

Maybe I did? Maybe I built this night up too much in my head. Now I'm thinking maybe I was expecting too much of her, maybe I should have just followed through with the rest of the date that night. She most certainly knows I bailed and faked the family emergency phone call. Maybe she's in the position I'm in and blaming herself. I think I might come clean with her. I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all. Maybe I'm straight up overthinking everything? Should I give this situation more time?

you definitely overthink, calm the fuck down. did you speak to her on the phone at all beforehand, or was it strictly messages?
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Wow supper with a girl you don't even know. Another beta cuck, did you split the bill at least?

It's your fault for barely giving it a chance. You didn't even give her a full date before bailing. It's entirely possible for it to be awkward at first and then the awkwardness dies off and you get more used to being together in person. Expecting it to be immediate magic within the first 45 minutes is unrealistic expectations.
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It's easier to text and think a minute before replying rather than organically talking. A lot of things are just different in person. My S/O and I are quiet in person but we're happy with that. It's silence that doesn't say "I have no connection with you" When we first met up we talked about relative interests and thoughts.

Maybe next time ask what about the person's day, their favorite food....I dunno. compatibility can be hard. Sometimes it's just a loss and people are terrible with conversation. You probably did fine but you don't want to smother the person with questions and attention.

Definitely be more patient next and see if someone wants to come out. I think it's not always obvious someone is interested or enjoying themselves.
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what a fucking joke they spend the whole date addicted to their phones no wonder they don't know how to communicate in person anymore!

ChrisHanson24 posted...

what a fucking joke they spend the whole date addicted to their phones no wonder they don't know how to communicate in person anymore!

Yeah, that was the single biggest mistake.
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ChrisHanson24 posted...

what a fucking joke they spend the whole date addicted to their phones no wonder they don't know how to communicate in person anymore!

How did your last date go?
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Sativa_Rose posted...

It's your fault for barely giving it a chance. You didn't even give her a full date before bailing. It's entirely possible for it to be awkward at first and then the awkwardness dies off and you get more used to being together in person. Expecting it to be immediate magic within the first 45 minutes is unrealistic expectations.

Yeah I was expecting too much but I obviously blew that. Just seen on her facebook that she's 'in a relationship' now. Although it might be some sort of ploy to deter me. I think I'll just delete her and move on. I honestly can't waste anymore time chasing girls.
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