Board 8 > A Feast For Crows Mafia: Topic 4 - No Fight Is Hopeless Till It Has Been Fought

(+) Yeah! (+)

Nanahara715 posted...

I don't really want to lynch FFD but I feel my vote on Puns is worthless. Puns has been on my radar since the start of the game, so I feel better about lynching him than Dowolf

...???

you tied Puns for the lead, I believe.
---

Nanahara715 posted...

I don't really want to lynch FFD but I feel my vote on Puns is worthless. Puns has been on my radar since the start of the game, so I feel better about lynching him than Dowolf

MZero11 posted...

[5] FFD: red, death, (Leo), KBM, Scare, Jeff
[5] puns: Shad, Stan, Han, dowolf, Nana
[4] dowolf: (Chris), (MI), (Leo), MI, VI, puns, Leo
[1] Han: (puns), FFD
[1] Leo: Chris, (MI)
[0] Chris: (puns), (Scare), (Nana)
[0] death: (VI)
[0] MysteriousStan: (Han), (dowolf), (Jeff Zero), (puns), (Leo), (death)
[0] Nana: (Chris), (KBM), (MI), (KBM), (Stan)
[0] Scare: (Leo), (Stan), (puns), (Death)
[0] Boko: (MI), (KBM)
[0] VI: (Chris)
[0] red: (VI), (KBM)
[0] MI: (puns)
[0] Jeff: (Nana)

With 17 alive it takes 9 to lynch. Day ends at 9 PM CST tonight, about 5 minutes from now

---

Yeah what are you talking about Nana?

Nana your going to give us a vote and no text to go along with it.

Not acceptable dude get back here.
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puns is going to vote me though so we're not REALLY tied
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HA!
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Welp

##Unvote
##Vote: FFD

glhf

Lynch han and Shad and possibly dowolf
---

see
---

I'm grumpy we aren't staying the course on dowolf

Hmm
---

oh my refresh failed, still. Fucking participate sooner next time.
---

dammit i don't like this.

##Unvote;
##Vote: Nana

that was awful.

CHOO CHOO!
---

dowolf posted...

Nanahara715 posted...

I don't really want to lynch FFD but I feel my vote on Puns is worthless. Puns has been on my radar since the start of the game, so I feel better about lynching him than Dowolf

...???

you tied Puns for the lead, I believe.

And Puns is probably going to move his vote off you and onto FFD.

You would be doing to same if I had voted for you.

FFD really needs to save himself.
---

I'm satisfied with my vote.
---

##vote2: puns
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like, i feel like someone just talked Nana through that series of votes.
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Nanahara715 posted...

FFD really needs to save himself.

It's more fun this way.
---

red13n posted...

Nana your going to give us a vote and no text to go along with it.

Not acceptable dude get back here.

Are people just not reading my posts?
---

dowolf posted...

dammit i don't like this.

##Unvote;
##Vote: Nana

that was awful.

CHOO CHOO!

I no longer like dowolf
---

ScareChan posted...

##vote2: puns

Reminder that last got game had a scum multivoter
---

##Unvote

##Vote: FFD
---

dowolf posted...

like, i feel like someone just talked Nana through that series of votes.

I mean, it's not great, but it's on a good target, and we don't have much time.
---

HanOfTheNekos posted...

dowolf posted...

dammit i don't like this.

##Unvote;
##Vote: Nana

that was awful.

CHOO CHOO!

I no longer like dowolf

Right? Let's lynch him
---

really?

I'm a sad panda right now and you guys suck

Not exactly used to being a mislynch
---

</3

I still like you, Han...
---

My Immortal posted...

ScareChan posted...

##vote2: puns

Reminder that last got game had a scum multivoter

Reminder that mi is scum
---

A day on end only multiplctorr
---

Oh ok
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Nanahara715 posted...

A day on end only multiplctorr

What
---

this was fun, let's do it again in 2020

(except without red this time, he is anti-fun)
---

Very nearly switched my vote to dowolf for that vote.

Scum multi voter could only vote d1 kill shad
---

STOP
---

STOP (cap
---

STOP plz
---

[7] FFD: red, death, (Leo), KBM, Scare, Jeff, puns, Leo
[4] puns: Shad, Stan, Han, (dowolf), Nana
[2] dowolf: (Chris), (MI), (Leo), MI, VI, (puns), (Leo)
[1] Han: (puns), FFD
[1] Leo: Chris, (MI)
[0] Chris: (puns), (Scare), (Nana)
[0] death: (VI)
[0] MysteriousStan: (Han), (dowolf), (Jeff Zero), (puns), (Leo), (death)
[1] Nana: (Chris), (KBM), (MI), (KBM), (Stan), dowolf
[0] Scare: (Leo), (Stan), (puns), (Death)
[0] Boko: (MI), (KBM)
[0] VI: (Chris)
[0] red: (VI), (KBM)
[0] MI: (puns)
[0] Jeff: (Nana)

(I actually don't know if Scare's Vote 2 counts so wait for Suprak on that >_>)
---

http://i.giphy.com/wAEX2C1n8p4sg.gif
---

Suprak Approved VOTALS (THANK YOU SO MUCH MZERO Edition):
[7] FFD: red, death, (Leo), KBM, Scare, Jeff, puns, Leo
[5] puns: Shad, Stan, Han, (dowolf), Nana, Scare2
[2] dowolf: (Chris), (MI), (Leo), MI, VI, (puns), (Leo)
[1] Han: (puns), FFD
[1] Leo: Chris, (MI)
[1] Nana: (Chris), (KBM), (MI), (KBM), (Stan), dowolf
[0] Chris: (puns), (Scare), (Nana)
[0] death: (VI)
[0] MysteriousStan: (Han), (dowolf), (Jeff Zero), (puns), (Leo), (death)
[0] Scare: (Leo), (Stan), (puns), (Death)
[0] Boko: (MI), (KBM)
[0] VI: (Chris)
[0] red: (VI), (KBM)
[0] MI: (puns)
[0] Jeff: (Nana)

You have 15 minutes to PM me any errors you see.
---

MZero11 posted...

(I actually don't know if Scare's Vote 2 counts so wait for Suprak on that >_>)

[7] FFD: red, death, (Leo), KBM, Scare, Jeff, puns, FFD
[5] puns: Shad, Stan, Han, (dowolf), Nana, Scare
[2] dowolf: (Chris), (MI), (Leo), MI, VI, (puns), (Leo)
[1] Han: (puns), FFD
[1] Leo: Chris, (MI)
[1] Nana: (Chris), (KBM), (MI), (KBM), (Stan), dowolf
[0] Chris: (puns), (Scare), (Nana)
[0] death: (VI)
[0] MysteriousStan: (Han), (dowolf), (Jeff Zero), (puns), (Leo), (death)
[0] Scare: (Leo), (Stan), (puns), (Death)
[0] Boko: (MI), (KBM)
[0] VI: (Chris)
[0] red: (VI), (KBM)
[0] MI: (puns)
[0] Jeff: (Nana)

;)
---

THERE HAVE BEEN NO OBJECTIONS. VOTALS ARE FINAL.

Flavor and flip coming shortly.
---

(Full flavor coming later. But so you can get night actions in have this brief place holder flavor in the meantime. In honor of FFD's IASIP game that lost in the ether.)

Scene: The inside of Paddy's Pub

Mac: HEYOOOOOOOO. Guys, you won't believe what I heard today. Suprak is having another Mafia game, and I signed us all up.

Dennis: Ugh. We are not doing that again.

Dee: No thank you.

Charlie: Yeah, that's a pass for me as well.

Mac: What? Guys, come on. Suprak's games are always great!

Dee: They are ABSOLUTLEY not great. Where are you getting that information from?

Mac: From us. We had a blast the last two times.

Dennis: No. That was not the case at all. Do you remember what happened day 1 in A Clash of Kings Mafia? That Shaft guy was town and he refused to claim. We all mislynched him.

Charlie: And then day 1 in Fuck 2016 Mafia? IGCD was town and he refused to claim. We all mislynched him, too.

Dee: There's a bad track record in these games. No thanks.

Mac: Well, obviously that's not going to happen this time. We've learned. We're better!

Dennis: I think you're just bad at pattern recognition.

Mac: No. We are playing mafia, and we are ABSOLUTELY not mislynching someone who refuses to claim day 1 this time.

THE GANG MISLYNCHES SOMEONE WHO REFUSES TO CLAIM DAY 1.

*cue music*

FFD has got sucked in a time warp WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME. He was The High Sparrow, TOWN Bulletproof.

You have until 8 PM tomorrow night to get me night actions. Day goes up at 9 PM CST tomorrow.
---

https://goo.gl/ZsSCkV
---

Seldom Have Felt So Close To God (16):
1) bng_mmmk
2) DoomTheGyarados
3) dowolf
5) HanOfTheNekos
6) htaeD
7) Jeff_Zero
8) Leafeon13N
9) Leo3L
10) MajinZidane
11) My_Immortal
12) MysteriousStan
13) Nanahara715
14) ScareChan
15) Shaduln
16) Vengeful_KBM
17) VeryInsane

SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!!!
LD1: FFD - The High Sparrow, TOWN Bulletproof

Final Day 1 Votals:
[7] FFD: red, death, (Leo), KBM, Scare, Jeff, puns, Leo
[5] puns: Shad, Stan, Han, (dowolf), Nana, Scare2
[2] dowolf: (Chris), (MI), (Leo), MI, VI, (puns), (Leo)
[1] Han: (puns), FFD
[1] Leo: Chris, (MI)
[1] Nana: (Chris), (KBM), (MI), (KBM), (Stan), dowolf
[0] Chris: (puns), (Scare), (Nana)
[0] death: (VI)
[0] MysteriousStan: (Han), (dowolf), (Jeff Zero), (puns), (Leo), (death)
[0] Scare: (Leo), (Stan), (puns), (Death)
[0] Boko: (MI), (KBM)
[0] VI: (Chris)
[0] red: (VI), (KBM)
[0] MI: (puns)
[0] Jeff: (Nana)

Again, night actions due by 8 PM tomorrow. Day will go up at 9 PM.
---

lol
---

FLAVOR DUMP COMING SHORTLY

DO NOT POST

THIS IS JUST FLAVOR FROM LAST NIGHT

DO NOT POST

I WILL MODKILL IF YOU POST

DO NOT POST

Thx. Another warning after the dump. If you modkill yourself here I will mock you endlessly in your flip flavor. Don't make me do it.
---

All of the contestants had gathered once Suprak had summoned them. They stood in a semi-circle, surrounding a bright red carpet adorned with a gold trim in the middle of the room. The entire semi-circle was comprised of three steps that lead out into a large balcony behind them. Contestants stood on various levels of the steps, spread out evenly at equal distances. Eighteen in all. Hard men and women that had been through numerous battles and had the scars to prove it. Reg and Lolo sat in the back corner of the room muttering to each other. This was not going to go well, they could already tell.

Suprak stood next to them, resplendent in his finest cloaks. He toyed with the sleeves, preparing to take the stage. “Can you guys at least try to be positive?”

“I think one of your contestants is mauling a camera man.”

He was. Suprak just shrugged, “He wasn’t a very good camera man, anyway.”

“I WAS TOLD THIS WOULD BE A NON-GETTING STABBED POSITION! I DEMAND AN ARGGHUUHLLLE-“

Suprak moved forward. He had already lost too many cameramen today so he had to make sure this went no further. “Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the first season of The Heir. Here we will determine who will next sit on the Iron Throne. Before we bring out our lovely Iron Throne, is everyone here excited?”

A roar went up amongst the crowd.

“That’s what I like to hear! Is everyone here ready to battle for the Iron Throne.”

Another roar, even louder than the first.

“Perfect! Is anyone here out to make friends?”

A chorus of boos rang out among the contestant.

“I’m here to make friends,” said a meek voice in the back.

“Who said that?” Suprak bellowed. “WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?”

The crowd parted and pointed to a man in the back.

“You? You aren’t even in this game! What the hell are you doing here?”

The man timidly looked down. “I just saw a bunch of people and thought maybe you’d like to share all these friendship sandwiches I made.”

“I’d like a friendship sandwich,” a burly man in front spoke up. Several others muttered in agreement.

“No! NO! There will be no friendship sandwiches! This is exactly what I was afraid of.” Suprak ran over and slapped the sandwiches out of their hands. “No sandwiches. Someone get him out of here!”

A couple of production assistants ran over and lifted the man off of his feet. They carried him through the door in the back and away from the rest of the contestants. “But they’re gluten freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” His voice echoed through the room until it slowly died away.

MZero was dragged away unwillingly for trying to be our friend! He was Suprak’s Secret Extra Co-host, INDEPENDENT Vote Counter! (seriously thanks for the helps with votals!)
---

“Gluten makes me feel gassy,” the burly man in front said.

“No! NO! It’s just a stupid health fad! It’s all in your head!” Suprak was clearly flustered as he frantically picked up the fallen sandwiches.

“I have Celiac disease,” he muttered in response.

“Oh, really? Oh, I’m sorry then, that – you know, none of this matters, so whatever.” Suprak disposed of the sandwiches in a nearby waste bin before returning. “We can just cut this.” Suprak motioned to the men holding the cameras over on the side.

Suprak took a couple of deep breathes, trying to regain his composure. After a couple of moments, he raised his head with a big fake smile. “Welcome ladies and gentlemen to The Heir. These eighteen contestants are...wait, eighteen? There’s only supposed to be seventeen.” Suprak frantically looked around at the eighteen people gathered around on stage. His eyes finally focused on MZero, who had snuck his way back on stage.

“SOMEONE GET HIM!”

MZero ran frantically around, dodging between other contestants as the production assistants fecklessly tried to grab him. “I JUST WANT FRIENDS!”
---

Suprak gulped water down in the back of the room while the contestants all mulled around the Iron Throne and tried their best to impress it. This wasn’t going like he had hoped. They had spent most of the evening chasing down MZero and most of the other time had been spent trying to stop the contestants from killing each other.

“Having fun?” Lolo asked. He already knew the answer.

“It’s so freaking hot in here. Why’s it so hot in here?” Suprak was sweating profusely. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and swallowed another big gulp of water.

“Maybe you’re just stressed.”

“Maybe you’re just anachronistic! Huh? Thought I forgot, huh? Now who’s anachronistic, JERK?” Suprak stormed off.

“He definitely doesn’t know what that word means,” Reg whispered from behind. Lolo nodded.

A production assistant ran up to Suprak. “Uh, sir? Sorry to bother you but we have a problem.”

“What now? Didn’t I tell you guys to lock MZero in the basement until we can figure out what to do with him?” Suprak began walking down towards the basement so he could deal with MZero, but the assistant grabbed him by the shoulder.

“No, it isn’t that. One of the contestants went and locked themselves in one of the bedrooms and he can’t figure out how to get out.”

Suprak sighed. This night definitely wasn’t going as planned. He quickly made his way over to the bedroom, with the production assistant following closely behind. The rest of the contestants noticed Suprak leave, and they followed as well.

Suprak heard the man long before he saw the door. A loud pounding echoed through the hallway, and if that wasn’t enough, the man was yelling at the top of his lungs. “HELP! HELP ME! I’M STUCK! HELP!”

“Sir, excuse me sir? It is me, Suprak. I’m going to help get you out, alright. Please just relax.”

“Oh, thank the Seven. I accidentally locked this door and I don’t know how to get out.”

“Yeah, we had these doors outfitted with locks as a security measure.” Suprak began typing on a keypad next to the door. “Luckily they are easy to unlock. We just need your name.”

The man hesitated. “My name?”

“Yep. Just tell me your name so we can verify you are on the list here and we can open the door for you.”

“Heh. Yeah. Nice try.”

Suprak looked at his assistant, who looked just as confused as Suprak. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you want my name? Nice try, chief. I wasn't born yesterday.”

“Look, I just need your name so I can open the door and get you out of here. That’s it.”

“Suuuuuuuuuuure,” the old man chuckled again. Suprak was still not sure what was so funny. “That’s the oldest trick in the book. Give someone your name, next thing you know, the government has shown up and starts stealing all your freedom. Not gonna work on me, no sir.”

Suprak slowly banged his head on the door. Why was this happening to him?

“Wasn’t this how he started his last game?” One of the other contestants muttered behind him.

“Mm hm. Same basic set up to the scene and everything. Must be running out of ideas.”

“Shut it!” Suprak hissed at them. “This is not my fault. And I’m going to get him out of there, so this is nothing like the last game. Alright?” He turned back to the door. “Sir, no one is going to steal your freedoms, ok? I just need your name so I can open then door.”
---

“No. Not a chance.”

Suprak pounded on the door. “JUST TELL ME YOUR DAMN NAME! OKAY? TELL ME, SO WE CAN MOVE ON AND GET BACK TO THE MAIN ROOM!”

“No. Look – I’ll, how about, how about I give you a letter?”

“What?”

“I’ll give you – here. Look. We can compromise. The letter ‘E’. Okay? The letter ‘E’.”

Suprak rubbed his head as he put the letter E into the keypad. “Alright so your name starts with ‘E’. What next?”

“No, wait. I never said that. I never said my name started with E, okay? That was – you’re jumping to some dangerous conclusions here friend-o.”

Suprak mashed his hand against the keyboard and the little screen lit up red as he did so. “Ok. So the letter E is somewhere in your name, then?” Suprak spoke through gritted teeth this time.

“No, I never said that either. I just said I’d give you a letter. The letter ‘E’. Okay? That’s a letter. We can agree on that and maybe just move on. Okay?”

“...I think I’m probably going to need more information still, then.”

The old man thought for a moment. “No, no. I think I’ve already given you too much.”

Suprak pounded his fist on the door repeatedly. “YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN ME ANYTHING! THAT ISN’T-“ He whirled around to the rest of the contestants. “Do any of you know his name?”

All the other men and women shook their head. Some of them had a brief conversation with him and threw out vague clues, but none of them knew his actual name.

“He’s, like, super old. And kinda crazy.”
“He talked about religion a lot.”
“He ate three of my friendship sandwiches.”

Suprak had MZero dragged out the back again. He shook his head, “I can’t – that isn’t enough information. He’s old and crazy and talked about religion. I can’t get a name from that.”

“Try Pat Robertson,” someone offered up.

“Hey, I said kinda crazy. Not insane.”

“Could be grandpa,” another person said.

Suprak just signed. “Did you see your grandfather here?”

“No." The man looked down at the floor sadly. "He’s dead.”

Now, Suprak just stared at him. “So then why would I put in your grandfathers name in if he wasn’t here and, oh by the way, is also dead?”

“I just miss him so I thought we could call him.”

Suprak looked back and forth between the wall and the confused contestant. “It’s not a phone! I can’t call him on this!” He mashed his hand on the keypad again. The screen lit up red as it had before. “Also, he’s already dead! I can’t call him on anything!”

Their argument was cut short when the old man spoke up from behind the door. “Hey guys, no worries, I found another way out.”

“There is no other way out,” Suprak said with a sigh. “I just need your name. Please.”

“No, I’ve got this. Someone left a perfectly good industrial strength wood chipper in here.”

Suprak looked at his assistants. “Why the hell did you bring that damn wood chipper again?”

The assistant in front hid behind his clipboard. “You left it at the scene of your last Mafia flavor and I thought it could come in handy.”

They heard the old man starting it up. “See, now if I just feed myself through this thing, I can seep through the floorboards down here and you can collect me in a bucket in the floor below.”
---

Why did everyone seem to think this was such a good idea?

“See? Told you this is the same Day 1 lynch flavor he did last time,” one of the contestants said. The rest of them grumbled about reused plot ideas, but Suprak just ignored them.

“Don’t put yourself in there! If you put yourself in there, you’re going to die! Just tell me your name!”

“Maybe this well help.” It was hard to hear over the wood chipper, but Suprak thought he heard him scribbling down something on a piece of paper. Moments later, a small scrap of paper slid under the door.

“Finally,” Suprak breathed a sigh of relief as he unfolded the paper. “I don’t know why you couldn’t just tell us your name but at least you...wrote it...” Suprak stopped speaking and just stared at the now unfolded paper.

“What’s it say?” His assistant moved over to the keypad and prepared to enter the name.

“There's a picture of a middle finger.” Suprak held it up so everyone could see. "Beneath that, it says 'eat it, fart suckers'."

“YEE-HAW. SEE YOU SUCKERS LATER. NEXT TIME, YOU’LL HAVE TO TRY YOUR TRICKS ON SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE – AUGH AUGH OH IT HURTS! MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT I WAS TOO HELPFUL AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE”

Eventually the screaming died down. Once the old man’s body had finished seeping through the floor, the door opened automatically. Suprak entered the room. There was blood and pieces of flesh everywhere, but most of the man’s body had successfully drained to the floor beneath.

FFD sacrificed himself to the wood chipper as part of his MASTER PLAN™! He was The High Sparrow, TOWN Bulletproof.

“Hey, if he gets to use the wood chipper, I want to too!” Another contestant tried to climb his way in.

“No! No more wood chipping! Just use the stairs if you want to get down to the next floor. Everyone out! And you two, dismantle this stupid thing. I don’t know why I bought it in the first place.”

Suprak ushered everyone back to the main room. This had definitely not started out like he had hoped.
---

FFD didn’t know where he was. He had a pounding headache, and he found himself sprawled around on the floor. Was he dead? His robes spilled around his body. It was bright in the room, almost impossibly bright. It felt as if the light was radiating from everywhere, yet nowhere all at once.

“Give me your hand,” a voice rang out. FFD didn’t realize he had company. He looked around, and saw two men, smiling. His eyes still out of focus, he clumsily reached for the hand. Their faces were hidden from him, but there was something intimately familiar about them.

FFD staggered to his feet, unable to get his balance. He was afraid he might fall, but the other man pulled him in close for a tight hug. “Great job.” He frantically searched his mind. Who were these men? It was when they next spoke that it all became clear. “Brother.”

Brother? Wait. Of course. Of course!

FFD smiled, His vision was still blurry, but he knew who they were. He looked back and forth at the two men. “OpShaft. IfGodCouldDie.”

The three of them held their hands up in front of them as they had done hundreds of times before. Their hands touched, and the space between their three fists formed a triangle. They slowly raised their hands, still touching, until their arms were just above their height of their heads.

“THE BROTHERHOOD OF EASILY AVOIDABLE AND ENTIRELY FUCKING POINTLESS DAY ONE MISLYNCHES STRIKES AGAIN.”

The three of them laughed, maniacally.

“How foolish can they be?” IGCD laughed while he scrounged around in the cooler that was behind him. He grabbed a beer and tossed it to FFD. FFD cracked it open, and downed half of it in one triumphant chug.

“Once again, they feed right into our MASTER PLAN™.”

“THE MASTER PLAN™.” The three of them said in unison.

The three of them shifted their gaze to the chalkboard that sat in the corner. In it, the nefarious details of THE MASTER PLAN™ were written in goat’s blood. They had chalk, but goat’s blood was just so much more appropriate for evil plots they had agreed.

THE MASTER PLAN™:
Step one: Get votes
Step two: Refuse to claim while cackling maniacally
Step three: Get lynched
Step four: ???
Step five: World domination

Just looking at its beauty brought the three of them to hysterical laughter. Their laughter filled the room until it drowned out all other sounds.

“Wait,” IGCD said as the laughter died down. “What was Step 4 of THE MASTER PLAN™ again?”

“THE MASTER PLAN™,” the three of them said again in unison.

“We do not know it. For that, we need the master.” FFD finished the rest of his beer and crushed the can in his hand.

“The master,” Shaft whispered from behind him.

“And where is the master?”

IGCD had just barely finished his question when Shaft appeared behind him. “The master,” he whispered again.

“Waiting.” FFD was suddenly very serious. Any trace of joviality had left his face. “For the next Suprak game. He will strike then, and the prophecy will be fulfilled. One more pointless day 1 lynch resulting from pure stubbornness where we refuse to claim...and our plan will be complete.”

“Our plan?” Shaft asked, jokingly.

FFD chuckled along. “Sorry. My mistake. I meant. THE MASTER PLAN™.”

“THE MASTER PLAN™.”

All they could do now was wait for their master.
---