Current Events > anyone feel like a complete outsider to their identity?

(+) Yeah! (+)

i'm a nerd and into geek culture but not nerdy enough to play that much games + not very good at them either + dislike playing multiplayer games

i'm heavily extroverted but i'm also intimidated by those who are more extroverted than me + i can be kinda boring/laidback but then love getting drunk and going clubbing

i'm black but other black guys probs find me a loser + not 'black' enough whatever the fuck that means

i'm working class and grew up poor, yet a lot of my are middle/upper middle class + live a fancy life + privileged

i'm gay but don't really care about lgbt culture + usually get racism thrown at me for being a coloured gay guy so find it hard to integrate

it's like...who do I relate to. what am i. and how do I find other people similar to me. sometimes I wish I was an average joe so I feel like I could make more deep and meaningful connections to people.

whhhhy am I so difficult. maybe i'm having a minor identity crisis
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gonna go with yes
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chill02 posted...

...

gonna go with yes

...am I cracking?
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I meant yes to the topic title ._.
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Yep
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I feel like that too.
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Yeah.
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It's much more important to embrace what makes you unique than trying to fit a mold.

yeah i feel ya TC

I'm a nerd, but I keep it fairly downlow most of the time. Plus yeah like you said most heavier games and stuff are still a mystery to me

Opposite of you actually. My family is wealthy but I've lived most of my adult life pretty frugally

Also I'm the least masculine man imaginable
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I'm a musician that doesn't smoke weed.
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TC: Waah! No one understand me Waah!

You're normal
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The average joe's connection to others here is through beers and drinking and going to happy viking or bars every friday night. How dry.

Go with your groups and connect with someone. I'm into powerlifting, strongman, competing, tattoos, art, poetry, psychology, history, drama, anime, criminology interests carried over from police work, war study, banking, and school, so I go and find people in these areas and connect with them and their common interests.

Just nerd out and you'll find someone on your level. just don't overthink it and bring up topics and see if anyone takes the bite and engages you back.

Me and a girl trade poetry and go on dates sometimes, I met another girl that loves Berserk and between lifting sets we argue if Guts is a jerk or not, another girl loves the Baroque art period and we share artists from that time, and of course the workout communities love talking different disciplines of lifting, etc. etc.
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evil_zombie11 posted...

I'm into powerlifting, strongman, competing, tattoos, art, poetry, psychology, history, drama, anime, criminology interests carried over from police work, war study, banking, and school

that's all so interesting

except the anime bit
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Doom_Art posted...

evil_zombie11 posted...

I'm into powerlifting, strongman, competing, tattoos, art, poetry, psychology, history, drama, anime, criminology interests carried over from police work, war study, banking, and school

that's all so interesting

except the anime bit

I know but I love that stuff lol
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Nah, I know exactly who I am
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ZannoL posted...

It's much more important to embrace what makes you unique than trying to fit a mold.

i kinda agree with that, since it goes against being a sheep and being true to yourself

however I hate in TV shows and films that "be yourself" is shoved into narratives and ends happy ever after. especially when they don't try to improve or reinvent themselves. it's unrealistic and sets kids up for a downfall in life >.>

Doom_Art posted...

yeah i feel ya TC

I'm a nerd, but I keep it fairly downlow most of the time. Plus yeah like you said most heavier games and stuff are still a mystery to me

Opposite of you actually. My family is wealthy but I've lived most of my adult life pretty frugally

Also I'm the least masculine man imaginable

i'm such a lame nerd though. I feel like calling myself a nerd is a bit of an insult to actual nerds

i'm not very masculine either
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Parappa09 posted...

i'm a nerd and into geek culture but not nerdy enough to play that much games + not very good at them either

Yep, can identify with this, except I do like playing a lot of multiplayer games.

i'm heavily extroverted but i'm also intimidated by those who are more extroverted than me + i can be kinda boring/laidback but then love getting drunk and going clubbing

Once again, can relate as well. One thing that gets me annoyed when I hang out with other asian people is how introverted a lot of them are. Like I honestly hate awkward silence and it really sucks when I try to break the ice and no one wants to participate but rather look at their phone.

Rest of your post I can't relate because I'm asian that lived a pretty well life throughout most of his life. With that said, I'm atheist but all of my closet friends are of some Christian denomination and I get a long with them better than I do with any atheist I know.

Though quick question, one of my friend is also black and gay and he says that he doesn't like to hang out with the black community because of how homophobic it is. Is it true that the black community is that homophobic?
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Patty_Fleur posted...

TC: Waah! No one understand me Waah!

You're normal

yeah it does sound like that. but i'm genuinely not a snowflake

i'm not 'normal' at all

Lightsasori posted...

Though quick question, one of my friend is also black and gay and he says that he doesn't like to hang out with the black community because of how homophobic it is. Is it true that the black community is that homophobic?

it can be but I wouldn't say it's as homophobic as people make it out to be. my black friends who I grew up + went school with are pretty accepting. and don't care about it
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bump
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up
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tag i'll post later.
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Sometimes I think I'm my mother, but I don't remember when that happens. :o

I don't even feel like I have any identities anymore. I kinda like it that way because it lets me be versatile and I don't feel any compulsion to be things.
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weapon_d00d816 posted...

I don't even feel like I have any identities anymore. I kinda like it that way because it lets me be versatile and I don't feel any compulsion to be things.

how come you feel like you have no identities?
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I solve the issue by not considering myself Jewish.
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You're a black nerd. Dude there are so many. You should try doing some sort of experiment, only a fool never does an experiment in their lifetime".
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Yes. I feel like I am simultaneously a cliché and also don't fit into any archetype. I have like 3 sets of friends who mostly don't get along. One is my hick friends who like going fishing and mudding and gold panning with me, another is the city yuppies who i go to exhibits and try new restaurants and shit with, third is the bros i play sports with. In all cases I feel like I am the odd man out but to the yuppy group I sometimes get the feeling they just view me as a hick bro and same with the other groups.
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Verdekal posted...

I solve the issue by not considering myself Jewish.

turning your back on your heritage is something different though

ehhwhatever posted...

You're a black nerd. Dude there are so many. You should try doing some sort of experiment, only a fool never does an experiment in their lifetime".

i'm more mainstream than a nerd

if this makes any sense...if I went to a 'mainstream' party, I would enjoy it and get along with most people, good music and good vibes. but I don't think i'd particularly make any deep connections or good friends. and at the end of the day, it's probably vapid to me

but then if I went to a nerd party then i'd know enough to get on with people, probably like the people a bit more even though our interests are really different and feel like i'm putting on a front of being up to date with manga, video games and super into it

i'm really tired and this is probably a really bad example to make. but it's a vague idea of what i'm getting it
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Yes
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Parappa09 posted...

Verdekal posted...

I solve the issue by not considering myself Jewish.

turning your back on your heritage is something different though

ehhwhatever posted...

You're a black nerd. Dude there are so many. You should try doing some sort of experiment, only a fool never does an experiment in their lifetime".

i'm more mainstream than a nerd

if this makes any sense...if I went to a 'mainstream' party, I would enjoy it and get along with most people, good music and good vibes. but I don't think i'd particularly make any deep connections or good friends. and at the end of the day, it's probably vapid to me

but then if I went to a nerd party then i'd know enough to get on with people, probably like the people a bit more even though our interests are really different and feel like i'm putting on a front of being up to date with manga, video games and super into it

i'm really tired and this is probably a really bad example to make. but it's a vague idea of what i'm getting it

Maybe you are detached from things. Everything is gang or group opinion so you got to be careful if you are detached. doesn't mean you don't have political missions or something connected to current events.
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ehhwhatever posted...

Maybe you are detached from things. Everything is gang or group opinion so you got to be careful if you are detached. doesn't mean you don't have political missions or something connected to current events.

I don't think I feel detached per se
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Yeah I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Like I have a lot of nerdy interest but was never nerdy enough to hang out with nerdy kids. And especially the not "black enough" part. I'm mixed and while I've had black friends I'm often referred to as the "whitest black guy etc." But I'm still too black to be white. It's never really bothered me though
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Key posted...

Yeah I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Like I have a lot of nerdy interest but was never nerdy enough to hang out with nerdy kids. And especially the not "black enough" part. I'm mixed and while I've had black friends I'm often referred to as the "whitest black guy etc." But I'm still too black to be white. It's never really bothered me though

how do you deal with it? like do you have one friendship group you regularly hang out with that you feel really comfortable with? or do you have different sets of friends you hang out with? i'm the latter
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The second one. I have one true best friend who knows all sides of me. We don't live in the same state anymore but we'll likely be friends for the rest of our lives. Then from there I have different groups of friends I have my work friends i hang out with occasionally that mostly party. I have my nerdier friends that I I play card games with and play fighting games or Pokemon with. And neither group would guess I hang out with the other. And sometimes I just hang out with the occasional person I meet that I get along with. I have a lot of different sides to my personality so I don't really fit into one niche and just have frfiends for each one.
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Kind of, sort of. It's why I don't really like talking about wanting to be a girl, or hearing others talk about wanting to be the other gender themselves. Whatever they're going to say about the subject, it's going to end up being different from my own approach, and it makes me feel like I'm wrong.
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Kind of. I haven't met many people who are intensely interested in the kinds of subjects that I am into, like economics. Most of the people my own age who I have met find the stuff I find interesting boring, and I find the stuff they find interesting boring. Thankfully the internet exists or this would suck a lot more.
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I'm a complete outsider on every level.

I wear a mohawk and my wardrobe is mostly black with lots of punk/goth/metal influence. I love punk rock and metal and even play guitar well, but can't tolerate the politics of bands to keep playing. I hate some of the movements within my beloved communities, especially the crust punk, live in a gutter approach to rebellion instead of getting educated and helping people to build community (which ironically reminds me of the ascetic monk zealots of the Catholic Church that they would stand against)

I'm a huge nerd but stand out among the nerds. I'm well spoken and dress like a post-apocalyptic raider most of the time. I don't have any nerd cliques. I can vehemently take sides between most series.

Honestly, I don't think I will ever fit in anywhere.

I know who I am but I don't really fit in anywhere. Writer / Music artist / aspiring filmmaker and weird as hell. Too passionate and weird to fit in with normal people. Not intellectual and serious enough to fit in with the cool art crowd. I also get a lot of shit online with people accusing me of being someone I'm not, that kind of messes with my sense of who I am.

I really struggle with being myself living where I do, grim English former mining town with no culture or places to go. We have two pubs and a lot of takeaways. There's natural beauty to be found nearby at least. I think I need to live in a city.

exvampire posted...

I know who I am but I don't really fit in anywhere. Writer / Music artist / aspiring filmmaker and weird as hell. Too passionate and weird to fit in with normal people. Not intellectual and serious enough to fit in with the cool art crowd. I also get a lot of shit online with people accusing me of being someone I'm not, that kind of messes with my sense of who I am.

I really struggle with being myself living where I do, grim English former mining town with no culture or places to go. We have two pubs and a lot of takeaways. There's natural beauty to be found nearby at least. I think I need to live in a city.

Well taking advantage of a big city such as in comfort is a sign of being well bred, there are other things too of course.
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it's kinda good that i'm not the only one feeling that way

maybe i'm going through a quarter life crisis
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Parappa09 posted...

i'm a nerd and into geek culture but not nerdy enough to play that much games + not very good at them either + dislike playing multiplayer games

You're a half nerd

i'm heavily extroverted but i'm also intimidated by those who are more extroverted than me + i can be kinda boring/laidback but then love getting drunk and going clubbing

You're social, but need space

i'm black but other black guys probs find me a loser + not 'black' enough whatever the fuck that means

You have a black skincolour. Your skincolour is only a tiny part of your identity, it's always a nature/nurture situation

i'm working class and grew up poor, yet a lot of my are middle/upper middle class + live a fancy life + privileged

You grew up poor and working class

i'm gay but don't really care about lgbt culture + usually get racism thrown at me for being a coloured gay guy so find it hard to integrate

You like men

it's like...who do I relate to. what am i. and how do I find other people similar to me. sometimes I wish I was an average joe so I feel like I could make more deep and meaningful connections to people.

You are Parappa(parpaprpapppa). Stop worrying about the labels. You're not just a half nerd, or a gay black dude, or a party pinata at regular occasions. Those are things that define you -- they make you an identity together

whhhhy am I so difficult. maybe i'm having a minor identity crisis

You're difficult and complex. You rationally think about stuff and life, that's very useful in life. If you're asking me I think you're amazing

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NeoBowser posted...

You are Parappa(parpaprpapppa). Stop worrying about the labels. You're not just a half nerd, or a gay black dude, or a party pinata at regular occasions. Those are things that define you -- they make you an identity together

the thing is i'm a fairly confident person speaking to strangers, friends, in groups, etc but if you knew me deep inside, then i'm a wreck

I wish I felt more confident though
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I prefer to think of myself as an individual rather than a member of a group.
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Eyerolling intensifies
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That's also a part of you. Try to see the bright side
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Ooooooooh so many indifferences, such unfairness life tends to do, inside me all the time- that I'm in needing to have my ego stroked and stripped away again this year to finally come in terms with myself.I'm bout to be 25 in September. I need to uh, find goals too.
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TyYoshi posted...

Ooooooooh so many indifferences, such unfairness life tends to do, inside me all the time- that I'm in needing to have my ego stroked and stripped away again this year to finally come in terms with myself.I'm bout to be 25 in September. I need to uh, find goals too.

You're a cool guy too, I'm sure you'll reach your goal. Worrying about it isn't going to get you there any quicker
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Xelltrix posted...

Eyerolling intensifies

i love sassy xell haha

but honestly this is what goes through my mind

TyYoshi posted...

Ooooooooh so many indifferences, such unfairness life tends to do, inside me all the time- that I'm in needing to have my ego stroked and stripped away again this year to finally come in terms with myself.I'm bout to be 25 in September. I need to uh, find goals too.

i'm 25 in november :'(
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i don't have an identity
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