Current Events > Be honest, are y'all glad I'm back (Shablagoo Returns) ?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I missed this place. The conversations, the shitposts, the animosity and the wry humor. The ins and the outs, the friendships and the antagonistic relationships.

I was in jail for ~3 months last fall and have been super depressed ever since. It's very dehumanizing. I can't even describe how bad it is. Apparently the jail I was in was extra bad, too.......like, one of the worst in the country. They starved the fuck out of us and kept us locked up 24 hrs/day for the most part. In our tiny, gray, lonesome cells. Nothing to do, no stimulation. Agonized prisoners screaming their hearts out day and night, making sleep impossible.

Most informed people know how fucked up incarceration in the U.S. is but, god damn, it's another thing to experience it first hand. It was truly, truly soul-crushing. And, again, I "only" spent 3 months in there. Others had been there for years. Years and years. It is no way for a human being to live........seriously, execution would be far preferable for most of these guys. More humane, less sadistic. It's just getting slowly starved to death in your own, personal, miserable hell. Gray walls 24/7, no stimulation. Scraps for food.

I seriously cannot put into words how awful it was. And, AGAIN, I was their for only a few months.

I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I wouldn't wish it on the worst person who ever lived. The most heinous criminal, the most diabolical fiend, the person who caused the worst suffering for the most amount of people honestly does not deserve jail. Not the one I was in, at least.

There's no utility in causing such suffering. If someone is committing bad crimes, just get rid of them. Seriously! Don't make any human suffer such a thing. No matter what they did, they are still a living being. Please!

People flippantly call America's justice system fascist and what-not but it really is worse than you can imagine. By far. I don't know how it came to be so cruel and punishing. I don't think any one human being could sign off on it. Certainly not if they spent a week in the place-- hell, even a day.

Like, for real, make politicians spend a week in such a place-- just a week-- and these institutions would be abolished immediately.

It's mind-boggling. I'm rambling like a motherfucker but I hope I'm getting my point across.

I'd rather be burned over and over in the fires of hell than go back to that jail.

Anyway, AMA.

<3

Despite how bad it is claimed to be recidivism rates in the U.S. are some of the highest in the world with almost 44% of criminals released returning to prison within their first year out.

archizzy posted...

Despite how bad it is claimed to be recidivism rates in the U.S. are some of the highest in the world with almost 44% of criminals released returning to prison within their first year out.

There's really nothing in place for us. They just put you out on the street, with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

If you got arrested in the summer and released in the winter, you're out their freezing to death with no idea what to do.

I'm not surprised by those numbers...frankly I would have guessed they'd be higher. America's criminal "justice" ("just us") system is cruel and unforgiving. It's about Puritan punishment, with no room for incarcerated people's growth, no room for a return to society, no room for peace, no room for anything good. It's really awful.

I'm extremely blessed to still have living family members that care for me, and even then....I feel like a complete alien. Rejected, dejected, doomed to failure.

All because of a mental health episode.

I was living a great, productive, healthy, wonderful life. Something snapped in my head, I got locked up, and now there is an impossible mountain to climb. I don't think individual people want it, but the system in place seems explicitly designed to make people like myself fail. Fail and suffer. And suffer. And suffer. And suffer. I really don't believe it's intentionally evil but if anything ever deserved that descriptor, the system that is in place for us does.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Just try to sleep as much as possible.

It was so cold, though.

When I first arrived they put me in solitary because I was screaming that they were all Nazis. No clothes, no blanket, nothing to wash myself with. No toothbrush. Nothing. For a week and a half.

It's honestly war crimes. No one would be able to deny it at a trial like the Geneva Convention...or Nuremberg or whatever.... or what they held in Cuba after the revolution. Seriously.

It's just no one knows about it and there's no one to advocate and the system is so entrenched that nothing will be done about it.

It's torture. Our own citizens are getting tortured beyond belief.

I don't know how else to put it. I'm so traumatized that I can barely elaborate.

Once I got to the cell block...........

One crappy ass "blanket" that was too small and full of holes. But, sleeping until the next "meal" (usually one piece of balogna, with a tiny portion of bland rice or potatoes. Lucky if you get a few green beans or a slice or two of canned peaches. They didn't really care if your meal was proper. The small, elementary school-sized carton of milk they occasionally gave us for breakfast was often spoiled. They really didn't care if we were starving. I saw so many emaciated people in my cell block. Every night at least one person would be having a medical emergency that they'd call nurses and a gang of C.O.s [correctional officers...cops] in for.) was the best you could do.

I've always been a big reader but they kept me from books so often and on the rare occasion I was able to nab one, reading seemed impossible. I could focus for like one page and then my brain would scatter.

I barely remember thinking about anything in there. The rare thoughts and dreams I did have were violent and depressing, and barely made sense.

I honestly don't understand how people could subject other people to such an existence.

Sorry, I cut myself off short there a bit. I can say more if you ask more questions, it's just really hard to talk about.

Even now.

I feel like my mind and my psyche and my entire being was entirely ruined by the experience. I don't feel like a human being at all anymore. I feel like a tiny rat with no direction. It ruined my life.

I wanna answer more questions, though.

I was super lucky to have a decent friend in the cell next to me. He helped me a lot, best as he could.

One time he showed me the admission picture they had of him on his bracelet...he looked so incredibly different. All of the color in his face was gone and his head was so skinny compared to what it was. I was horrified.

I myself lost ~30 lbs. in the first couple weeks they had me there.

It's impossible to do anything in that place, though. It's like what I imagine hell to be. Worse than that, even. I didn't know such awfulness was possible in this life.

I'm still shell-shocked by it.

I wanna answer more though...thanks for asking. It's just tough and like I said my mind has been sabotaged by the experience. I wish I could describe it better.

Ugh. Sorry.

I wish I were better with words, to make people in my city understand how awful and inhumane it is in that place. I'm just so fucking exhausted. Worn out. All I wanna do is sleep.

(I also got smashed in the head a bunch of times with a crowbar by some dude who wanted my groceries a couple weeks ago, btw. Idk, maybe that's part of it. I've been sleeping a lot since then. But, I'd rather get crowbar'd again than go back to this city's jail. It's seriously so bad. So, so bad.)

I hope I'm making some semblance of sense. Ugh, again. Ugh. Sorry, everyone. :/

why did you ask where shablagoo was in your first post when youre shablagoo

What did you get done for?

ultimate_reaver posted...

why did you ask where shablagoo was in your first post when youre shablagoo

cuz I'm dumb, idk

Rotterdammerung posted...

What did you get done for?

(allegedly) spitting on a sheriff's deputy after he tried to rip my arm out of its socket for no discernible reason (a bunch of his coworkers already had me arrested and calmed and immobile.......waiting for an ambulance because I was having a severe medical emergency.......off-the-charts blood pressure to the point where the officers holding me were commenting [exclaiming about, in fact] on how obscenely, outrageously, unbelievably hot my skin was-- they even had to switch in and out because of how hot it was to touch me..............there was absolutely no reason for him to run up and try to rip my arm off....but he decided to and claims I spit on him after he did that, and wants to have me locked up again for it)

(message deleted)

I'm suffering bad tbh, y'all. Never thought it'd be this way. I've always been fairly resilient. But both my mind and body are so fucked up and damaged right now.

It sucks so bad because I was the epitome of health just 1 year ago. Ate like a stegosaurus and exercised like Muhammad Ali. I was looking and feeling so incredible.

It is so hard to believe what happened. I'm so broken down, so weary, so crushed now. I feel like a worn-down, withered old man on the verge of becoming a corpse. Heck, maybe I'm even farther than that. It's even worse than poor health or being decrepit, I'm dusty and worn. Used up.

It shouldn't be this way at 30 years old, lol. >_>

Sigh.

Was it a privatized facility?

ScazarMeltex posted...

Was it a privatized facility?

Probably. From what I understand the police force here is basically privatized. And politicians make money off putting bodies in the jail.

idek though. Who knows. I'm so small and worthless, wtf do I know.

(it's technically called the County Jail)

Tell us more about the people in there.

Friends, enemies, guards, nurses.

Beat anyone up in there?

archizzy posted...

Despite how bad it is claimed to be recidivism rates in the U.S. are some of the highest in the world with almost 44% of criminals released returning to prison within their first year out.

You know that bad prisons INCREASE crime right? People come out and had joined gangs for protection/to get stuff smuggled in, or have new mental health issues or lost everything to court fees and foreclosure and probably struggle to get a job. Many also come out crippled from injuries or not being gven proper healthcare.

Anyways a lot of prison operators belong on death row for the way they run their prisons.
Also the same for all owners of for profit prisons.

Notti posted...

Tell us more about the people in there.

Friends, enemies, guards, nurses.

The guards (aka C.O.s or correctional officers) are hit or miss. Some are really abrasive and mean. Like not giving you hygiene products or even sometimes your life-sustaining medications when you need them. Others are pretty decent and are normal people who you can even chat with. Like one time one of 'em asked me to rap for him because he was impressed by what he'd heard me doing, another would talk to us about basketball, another even let this other rapper who was in my pod show us his stuff on their computer.

Others were complete shitheads though, like I said. Idk, I feel bad for everyone who works in that place too.

The nurses aren't really allowed to do anything for us so they basically just say hi and move on. It's really stupid. The best I got out of them were a few pieces of paper and a tiny golf pencil.

One time on a gym day I was holding my arms up, first my left, then my right, in the black power salute. I was really doing it to exercise/stretch my arms, but one of the COs there that day came in to the gym all freaked out asking if I was throwing up some "gang signs" lol....the rest of the prisoners in there defended me and got a big kick out of how freaked out the dude was. (He looked like your stereotypical cop with tattoos all over him that had, um, seriously questionable meanings.)

All-in-all, the jail I was in needs to be burned to the ground the same way any torture camp throughout history should have been. (Ironically my uncle was actually the warden there once.)

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

You know that bad prisons INCREASE crime right? People come out and had joined gangs for protection/to get stuff smuggled in, or have new mental health issues or lost everything to court fees and foreclosure and probably struggle to get a job. Many also come out crippled from injuries or not being gven proper healthcare.

Anyways a lot of prison operators belong on death row for the way they run their prisons.
Also the same for all owners of for profit prisons.

Unsuprised_Pika posted...

You know that bad prisons INCREASE crime right? People come out and had joined gangs for protection/to get stuff smuggled in, or have new mental health issues or lost everything to court fees and foreclosure and probably struggle to get a job. Many also come out crippled from injuries or not being gven proper healthcare.

Anyways a lot of prison operators belong on death row for the way they run their prisons.
Also the same for all owners of for profit prisons.

YES. Amen.

EzeDoesIt posted...

Like not giving you hygiene products or even sometimes your life-sustaining medications when you need them

That's not abrasive and mean, that's criminal.

No. Youre a dishonest person who used to constantly post things that were quickly shown not to be true and would then steadfastly refuse to acknowledge it, instead trying to attack the people who point it out. You have takes like based North Korea and its bigoted to think someone should tell sexual partners they have HIV. And every time you would get moderated you would run to the Reddit group with bigots and literal White supremacists to whine with them about unfair it is.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

TC seems to be ignoring this.

Yes, we always got along

Of course Vegy is friends with TC. That does not surprise me in the slightest. Birds of a Feather and all that. Apple does not fall far from the tree.
No wonder, the reasonable people of this forum have a problem with Vegy and his Behavior. It's quite obvious in fact.

You are friends with some of the worst trolls on this website, than you are no better.
If you want people to take you seriously, stop behaving the way you do Vegy.
Stop defending people like the OP, and perhaps grow up a bit, you clearly have some work to do on yourself.
If you want to be seen/treated as an actual adult/grownup, first you have to start acting like one.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

And thinks that North Korea, famous around the world for humane treatment of prisoners, is based.

Who are you and where have you been and why?

Woah there, TC. Easy does it.

AloneIBreak posted...

Who are you and where have you been and why?

He thinks North Korea is based, is a fan of China and shills for them often, and he refuses to disclose that he has HIV to his partners.

I think anyway?

archizzy posted...

Despite how bad it is claimed to be recidivism rates in the U.S. are some of the highest in the world with almost 44% of criminals released returning to prison within their first year out.

That's because America's approach to crime is a lot different from many places in the world.

Instead of rehabilitating criminals so they become better members of society, we are hyper-focused on punishing them for even the most petty of crimes to the point where they can't recover and actually end up worse than when they went in

The prison industrial complex also doesn't help

I wonder how TC thinks the conditions at his jail compare to the conditions of a typical North Korea or Chinese political prisoner camp

Slayer_22 posted...

He thinks North Korea is based, is a fan of China and shills for them often, and he refuses to disclose that he has HIV to his partners.

I think anyway?

That's quite the resume

I don't know who that is

Bump

I think in another topic he said he might be going to jail again

Am I confusing users, or has shab at this point posted three or four pictures of himself over the years that look wildly different? I feel like there's at least one picture of him looking like a scrawny Irish guy with a scraggly red beard kissing a baby, another of him as some goth kid with black hair in a haunted house, and then the one most recently from the supposed car crash.

Then again, with all of the dark roast drama maybe I'm just being more suspicious of anyone who posts a picture of themselves with some kind of story on CE.

Dark_Arbron posted...

That's not abrasive and mean, that's criminal.

Yup. Who's gonna report it, though?

s0nicfan posted...

Am I confusing users, or has shab at this point posted three or four pictures of himself over the years that look wildly different? I feel like there's at least one picture of him looking like a scrawny Irish guy with a scraggly red beard kissing a baby, another of him as some goth kid with black hair in a haunted house, and then the one most recently from the supposed car crash.

Then again, with all of the dark roast drama maybe I'm just being more suspicious of anyone who posts a picture of themselves with some kind of story on CE.

1 and 3 are accurate but not the goth haunted house one, that wasn't me whatever photo you're thinking of. I've never dyed my hair.

MrKapowski posted...

I wonder how TC thinks the conditions at his jail compare to the conditions of a typical North Korea or Chinese political prisoner camp

I'd hazard they were worse. But anyone who's never experienced the specific jail (in other words, there are almost certainly some jails that are worse in the DPRK/China than some jails in the U.S.) I was at and who has been led to believe otherwise would probably find that mere suggestion impossible to believe.

Slayer_22 posted...

TC seems to be ignoring this.

Huh? Already answered that, maybe it was in a different topic, idk.

Skipped a lot of posts there, fella.

__aCEr__ posted...

Skipped a lot of posts there, fella.

I edited some responses into #39 after initially posting it.

Shabs is a harden criminal now. Welcome back.

DirkDiggles posted...

Shabs is a harden criminal now. Welcome back.

true dat playa

https://media.giphy.com/media/EszcSu7Kg23Be/giphy.gif

Can you answer it in this topic?

Slayer_22 posted...

Can you answer it in this topic?

Can you restate the question, please, for clarity? My bad, I'm a little tipsy and don't feel like flipping back through, lol.

I'm personally not that glad. Generally, you make a lot of dumb posts. Being critical of America is great, but reflexively defending every nation just because of some stated opposition to America or because they have "communist" in the title is dumb. North Korea isn't a worker's paradise. China isn't even really communist, its an authoritarian capitalist state. Just saying the dumbest thing possible to generate controversy doesn't make anything easier for people who actually advocate for leftist ideas, and people like you make the entire leftist project much harder than it should be. It doesn't do anything productive because this isn't social media, you aren't able to farm views and make any money off this, there is no need to generate "engagement" by saying very silly things.

Like, you aren't as bad as any of our fascists and right wingers like Tenlaar obviously, and you aren't as bad as the right wingers pretending to be left wingers like Luigibros or whatever his account is now, but you still post really, really stupid things.

Stop lying about me being right wing.