Current Events > gender is a goddamn fuck

(+) Yeah! (+)

i detransitioned for the 3rd time a month ago. starting to think maybe my problem isnt gender dysphoria. i think i legitimately have obsessive compulsive disorder

What was the time spans for the other ones?

Dreepapult posted...

What was the time spans for the other ones?

i dont know how to answer this question, but i started with the gender questioning when i was 14 and i am 20 now

Ah, ok. I guess that kind of answers.

yeah, like when i think about transitioning, i dont think of it as something that would improve my life. i think of it as something i HAVE TO DO, but i have no idea why i have to. i just have the unshakable feeling that it is neccessary

Gender is stupid.

Also sorry youve gone through that. I cant imagine the stress of going through it three times, hope things get better for you

Have you talked to a therapist about it?

JTilly posted...

Have you talked to a therapist about it?

depending on what you mean by it
thinking i have ocd? no, the thought only struck me recently but it rings so true. its cringe but i always kinda denied ocd to myself because i didnt want to be like the stereotypical meme "haha i like to keep my room clean im so ocd haha"
gender dysphoria? yeah ive talked to 3 therapists about it and not gonna lie but i got 0 benefit from my time with them

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

i get your point, but i am very fortunate in this regard. nobody in my life pushes me or is transphobic. im just in a rush because i want to understand myself. life feels too short to be lost

I never doubted my transition: that it is was necessary and also that its the best thing that ever happened to me. But every experience is different. Whether its difficulty due to external factors (rejection by parents/family, bad work environment, etc. etc.) or internal factors (confounding conditions like autism, OCD, ADHD, etc. which affect how you think, think about, and process stuff), people do destransition, and that is valid. You are valid, TC.

Im curious: are you seeing a therapist? A good therapist could do a lot to help you sort yourself out.

Edit: Lots of posts happened. I know you may not want to hear this, but you need to be patient, and get yourself straightened out. It is literally never too late to transition, after all.

ElatedVenusaur posted...

I never doubted my transition: that is was necessary and also that its the best thing that ever happened to me. But every experience is different. Whether its difficulty due to external factors (rejection by parents/family, bad work environment, etc. etc.) or internal factors (confounding conditions like autism, OCD, ADHD, etc. which affect how you think, think about, and process stuff), people do destransition, and that is valid. You are valid, TC.

Im curious: are you seeing a therapist? A good therapist could do a lot to help you sort yourself out.

i am not seeing a therapist, but i probably should. i have in the past but it wasnt helpful at all. and im starting to think a big reason it was so useless is i was going after the wrong angle [gender dysphoria]

Transitioning isn't for everyone even people with gender dysphoria. There's a lot of people who just elect to put up with the bullshit rather than transition because they made a cost/effort analysis and determined it was better to just stay AGAB

ElatedVenusaur posted...

It is literally never too late to transition, after all.

Unless you're dead. At that point it's probably too late.

Trumble posted...

Unless you're dead. At that point it's probably too late.

What if you identify as alive?

Tyranthraxus posted...

What if you identify as alive?

Then you'd be a zombie or something. Idk, I'm not an expert on either the undead or gender issues, I can't really answer that.

Tc, I would just stop trying to worry about it and live your life. You changed your gender three times within the span of 6 years, most of those which you were still a kid. You'll find yourself eventually. You can live up to 100 and maybe someday you'll look back as an old man or woman and think that was silly to be worried about.

i didn't think it was so easy to transition and detransition that you could do it 3 times in a row like that

Other than the sex that your attracted to.

What actually defines your own sex? It cant be just interests. Men can do things that were considered feminine and vice versa.

I'm not talking about biologically.

Maybe theres actually no sex?

Kadomony posted...

i didn't think it was so easy to transition and detransition that you could do it 3 times in a row like that

It's a simple matter of starting and stopping HRT. There are only a few things that aren't fully reversible (for example, breast growth and masculinization of facial hair) but those don't really kick irreversibly until you're several months in.

Cobra1010 posted...

Maybe theres actually no sex?

not for anyone on CE, that's for sure
https://youtu.be/3IC76o_lhFw