Current Events > In a veiled threat against the Keebler Elves, Kellogg announces new weapon test.

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Guide
07/14/22 10:38:05 PM
#1:


They're calling it the first ever launch of a Hypersonic Treat-Seeking Missile.

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Guide
07/14/22 11:05:47 PM
#2:


Kellog's public statement on this latest development has been all but drowned out of the media, due to the latest case of the nation's longstanding Cereal Killer problem.

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Guide
07/14/22 11:34:48 PM
#3:


Special K and GrapeNut blame politicians for blocking background check laws, while infamous senators, Lucky the Leprechaun and Trix Rabbit, blame imports from "people like Count Chocula and Sonny the Cuckoo".

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#4
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Guide
07/15/22 5:52:27 PM
#5:


Actually they use me for tuning the accuracy of models they use for predicting those sorts of people.

In other news, Rice Krispies is being considered a slur in some parts of California. "You can say Rice Krispas, but Krispies is for Crackle-Americans."

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