Current Events > The Bible is the worst story ever told.

(+) Yeah! (+)

The plot have no real flow. The beginning takes forever to start. It kind of picks up speed in the middle section, but then it just drags on, and the ending is a convoluted mess that doesn't feel like an actual ending.
Character arcs are just bad all around and doesn't really make a lot of sense, often contradicting itself, or other stuff that's going on in the story. While we're at it, there are just way too many characters and plotlines going on. I'll give them points for having the imagination to create a giant world where all this interesting imagery is happening, but in the grand scheme of the story, there's just no real focus.

The Bible just do not hold up and I'm afraid that I have to give it a 2/10. I had high expectations tbh.

The Bible is a collection of stories tho, to review it as a singular story is wrong

Damn_Underscore posted...

The Bible is a collection of stories tho, to review it as a singular story is wrong

Don't tell me how to do my job.

There are also chunks of it missing, and it's been changed a bunch

Imagine if Goosebumps had been written back in the day.

Probably read a bad translation

Strider102 posted...

Imagine if Goosebumps had been written back in the day.

Goosebumps is actually our book series of the year over here for the 27th year in a row!

I don't know, when Jesus unlocks the power of Super Christian God Super Christian it's pretty exciting.

Kitt posted...

Don't tell me how to do my job.

Then do it properly.

There are a lot more chances to rip into it if you do it one story at a time.

I try read Bible once and it so boring the same with Quran.

Maybe that why I don't have religion.

Master_Bass posted...

I don't know, when Jesus unlocks the power of Super Christian God Super Christian it's pretty exciting.

Jesus was one of the few characters that had any major potential, but they went and squandered it. In the hands of a better writer, he would have been literature icon for sure.

Asus-Sony posted...

I try read Bible once and it so boring the same with Quran.

Maybe that why I don't have religion.

How do you read Quran I thought it Arabic language?

^ you know it have translation version right?

Aki_Sora posted...

How do you read Quran I thought it Arabic language?

Same way people read the Bible, which is Greek.

You want a good holy book? Try the Mahabharata. That shit's incredible. At least the version I read which may or may not have been slightly abridged (it was a 40-hour audiobook).

Also here's the gist of it in 1 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42W6axXrIuw

Asus-Sony posted...

^ you know it have translation version right?

Ohh never think about the translation version my bad.Xavier_On_High posted...

Same way people read the Bible, which is Greek.

I didn't know about that either my bad.

Sorry if my question sensitive.

eston posted...

There are also chunks of it missing, and it's been changed a bunch

No one cares about the Bible extended universe

And talk about a preachy book. Everybody's a sinner! Except for this guy.

Tyranthraxus posted...

No one cares about the Bible extended universe

I, for one, want to see what got cut.

Like, what if at the very end it said "The stories contained within are not to be taken seriously or literally."

Strider102 posted...

I, for one, want to see what got cut.

Like, what if at the very end it said "The stories contained within are not to be taken seriously or literally."

One of the cut stories is about Adam's first wife, Lilith, who was like some kind of half-woman half-snake thing. I thought it was supposed to be an allegory for something but it turns out lots of guys ex-wives are half-woman half-snake.

what do you expect, its derivative work after all.

monkmith posted...

what do you expect, its derivative work after all.

Considering all the hype around it, I at least expected something coherent. They really dropped the ball with this one I feel. If there's one piece of work that can really benefit from a full on reboot from a more skilled, contemporary writer, it's the Bible.

Im not defending the Bible, by any means.

But let me nominate Battlefield Earth.

im still waiting on the sequel.

"The Bible 2: God Strikes Back"

pokedude900 posted...

Mahabharata

The Gita is a very short and concise read. Anyone who wants a true whirlwind of religious philosophy ought to read it.

We need the Bible final cut.
Before the Council of Narcia cut fucked it up worse than Harrison Ford's narration.

(checking what the Gita is)

Oh right. The part where Krishna and Arjuna are literally on the battlefield having a long-ass conversation about religion. Not that there was anything wrong with dialogue itself, but time and place, guys. lol

On a related note, I'm now listening to the Ramayana in order to complete my Fate/Grand Order-related knowledge of Hinduism.

Wolfesth6090 posted...

We need the Bible final cut.
Before the Council of Narcia cut fucked it up worse than Harrison Ford's narration.

Zack Snyder's The Bible

Tyranthraxus posted...

Adam's first wife, Lilith

They didn't even cut this story neatly, she's still mentioned, just not named.

Tyranthraxus posted...

Zack Snyder's The Bible

We could have guest directors like Sin City.

Genesis Chapter 19.
Where Lot is shit faced and gets railed by his own daughters.
Roman Polanski.

Mark 11-12
Jesus curses a fig tree.
David Lynch.

Psalm 137:9
Dashing babies skulls against the rocks.
Quentin Tarantino.

Wolfesth6090 posted...

We could have guest directors like Sin City.

Genesis Chapter 19.
Where Lot is shit faced and gets railed by his own daughters.
Roman Polanski.

Mark 11-12
Jesus curses a fig tree.
David Lynch.

Psalm 137:9
Dashing babies skulls against the rocks.
Quentin Tarantino.

I would love to see the Bible interpreted through the vision of more talented people. Because right now, this ain't it...