Current Events > We still on being open in our relationship with my bf.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Talked with my bf about it. He is totally fine with it. Thing that bothers me is I know he isnt gonna be with anyone else, and Id want him to, but he says its all okay.

Had to bring it up after a kinda odd incident at the nude beach (just hands), not the sex but the stuff around it.

Turned out they were brothers (I thought they were a couple at first, found out after), they didnt do anything with each other tho. And one of them gave me his number and name on a piece of paper. He wants someone to talk to being an older christian gay man who works the church. It was weird.

Ok this topic is about 2 things but yeh.

I like that I can be free sexually, just feeling bad that my bf isnt doing it. I dont activly look and have avoided stuff, but yesterday the brain down there was more in control lol.

---

hopefully not the death knells of the relationship. i wish you luck

---

i have tc tagged as "what?" and it's very fitting right now

---

Most octogenarians aren't into playing the field though

---

Choco posted...

i have tc tagged as "what?" and it's very fitting right now

TC got a handy from a randy at the beach yesterday. TC's boyfriend said TC can sleep around if he wants. TC knows his boyfriend isn't gonna sleep with anyone other than TC, and feels bad about it.

---

The Trent posted...

Most octogenarians aren't into playing the field though

A what?

---

Opisseus posted...

TC got a handy from a randy at the beach yesterday. TC's boyfriend said TC can sleep around if he wants. TC knows his boyfriend isn't gonna sleep with anyone other than TC, and feels bad about it.

Yeh, but my own limit is not to do anything unsafe so I dont have to get tested.

---

DaveTheUseless posted...

Your rebellion is going to result in the destruction of your soul.

aint no such thing as a soul man, and if there was it dont care who you fuck

---

That feeling is known as love and genuine care tbh

---

Opisseus posted...

aint no such thing as a soul man, and if there was it dont care who you fuck

I dunno about you but im chock full of soul

---

The Trent posted...

I dunno about you but im chock full of soul

having soul and having a soul are different things imo

---

I've got both, its a real burden sometimes

---

The Trent posted...

I dunno about you but im chock full of soul

https://youtu.be/istJXUJJP0g

---

I mean I was having 2 brothers in my hands at the same time. That is a weird thing man.

---

This seems like it would be a bad idea, even if you're both on PrEP given that other STDs exist.

---

Shadowplay posted...

This seems like it would be a bad idea, even if you're both on PrEP given that other STDs exist.

Im not activly seeking but if it happens spontaniously it happens, and Im gonna be safe, no butt stuff, oral not sure but could happen. I was pretty safe during my slut period as well.

---

Bump

---

>_>

---

im not sure what to think of this topic

---

I doubt deep down he's cool with it

---

An open relationship where only one person uses that privilege (and both parties know it) is borderline abusive, since that is something almost nobody would initially want to get involved inunless youre getting into niche communities.


---

Smackems posted...

I doubt deep down he's cool with it

---

I think you are mistaking him being okay with it for you exploiting his lack of self-esteem.

---

M_Live posted...

Do you think it bothers him when you fool around with other people?

Ive talked to him about it and Im pretty sure it doesnt. Either way doesnt mean Im gonna go on a fuck spree or anything. This was the first time in several years I was sexual with someone else.

Smackems posted...

I doubt deep down he's cool with it

He wouldnt lie about that.

masticatingman posted...

An open relationship where only one person uses that privilege (and both parties know it) is borderline abusive, since that is something almost nobody would initially want to get involved inunless youre getting into niche communities.

Im fully transparent with my bf, and if I even notice a slight discomfort from him I wouldnt do this. Neither of us want to limit each other, I wouldnt want him to lose out on a chance to fool around with someone and have a great time.


---

Idk man. I'm not gonna pretend to know all there is to know bout y'all's relationship but... Be careful

---

Ignore the hetronormative people. You can conduct your relationship however you want. The best part of being gay is ignoring puritanical Judeo-Christian "values" that reduce personal freedoms in service of maintaining the status quo.

Rikatika posted...

Ignore the hetronormative people. You can conduct your relationship however you want. The best part of being gay is ignoring puritanical Judeo-Christian "values" that reduce personal freedoms in service of maintaining the status quo.

I think thats what people might have trouble understanding. We both dislike the cookie cutter mold hetero couples are forced
in.


---

FF_Redux posted...

Talked with my bf about it. He is totally fine with it. Thing that bothers me is I know he isnt gonna be with anyone else, and Id want him to, but he says its all okay.

This is not a good sign he's genuinely into this lifestyle idea imo. Now if he said, "I'll give it a try" then it sounds more like he could adapt to it so yeah, just be cautious with how your actions may affect him emotionally.

---

Jagr_68 posted...

This is not a good sign he's genuinely into this lifestyle idea imo. Now if he said, "I'll give it a try" then it sounds more like he could adapt to it so yeah, just be cautious with how your actions may affect him emotionally.

I was never the one who suggested this from start anyway, its been an agreement since we started to get more serious, we just hadnt talked about it in a few years when we only been with each other. This isnt an out of the blue thing.


---

FF_Redux posted...

I think thats what people might have trouble understanding. We both dislike the cookie cutter mold hetero couples are forced
in.

Doesnt seem like it has much to do with that as much as it does you expressing some sort of feeling of guilt at the prospect of your lover not having anyone to play with

I mean, why you feel those feelings can of course include a multitude of things but it seems like the amount of time spent with this person and the fact they dont want to engage and are kind and open to want to see you also be happy seems like its challenging your idea of multiple partners

I can only assume this, its not like I know your or his feelings but Im just throwing it out there as supplemental to my daww he wubs you uwu cause Im sorta curious on whether you feel love, respect, guilt, etc


---

RedJackson posted...

Doesnt seem like it has much to do with that as much as it does you expressing some sort of feeling of guilt at the prospect of your lover not having anyone to play with

I mean, why you feel those feelings can of course include a multitude of things but it seems like the amount of time spent with this person and the fact they dont want to engage and are kind and open to want to see you also be happy seems like its challenging your idea of multiple partners

I can only assume this, its not like I know your or his feelings but Im just throwing it out there as supplemental to my daww he wubs you uwu cause Im sorta curious on whether you feel love, respect, guilt, etc

I get what you are saying.
I think my guilt is more my own problems, Im good at creating problems in my mind when there arent. Im better at managing this now. I think its part of my GAD.

I love him and he is my priority when it comes to making his life better, especially with his age I want to contribute to make his final part of his life meaningful.

I do feel less guilty about this now compared to when I made this topic cuz we talked more and Ive processed stuff. And its not that he doesnt want to have sex with others, he wants to but its much easier for me to find someone compared to him when it comes to preferances and availability.

But as I said several times already, I dont want to activly look for others to sleep around but if things escalate on a nude beach or something I can feel free to play (safe of course).

---

just look into the sky, close your eyes and pretend its the boyfriend

---

FF_Redux posted...

I love him and he is my priority when it comes to making his life better, especially with his age I want to contribute to make his final part of his life meaningful.

I do feel less guilty about this now compared to when I made this topic cuz we talked more and Ive processed stuff. And its not that he doesnt want to have sex with others, he wants to but its much easier for me to find someone compared to him when it comes to preferances and availability.

Gotcha, hope you dont feel like Im judging you - I can tell youre a really good person deep inside considering you give a damn to acknowledge those feelings. Just glad you two really care for eachother is all, youre one of the good ones absolutely and to me those feelings seemed to make sense within the realm of FF_Redux since you seem like someone full of love for life heh


---

RedJackson posted...

Gotcha, hope you dont feel like Im judging you - I can tell youre a really good person deep inside considering you give a damn to acknowledge those feelings. Just glad you two really care for eachother is all, youre one of the good ones absolutely and to me those feelings seemed to make sense within the realm of FF_Redux since you seem like someone full of love for life heh

Nah I dont feel that. But I understand if there is judgement.

---