Poll of the Day > Why do men join dating sites just to insult women?

(+) Yeah! (+)

It seems weird and counterproductive

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men treating women badly free of consequences, a tale as old as time

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Kanatteru posted...

men treating women badly free of consequences, a tale as old as time

It's just such strange behavior. And why are there already two deleted posts in here

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Jen0125 posted...

It seems weird and counterproductive

They're probably using a dating site because they insult women IRL too and can't figure out what the problem is...

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At a certain point of matches that don't go anywhere I think guys are just throwing out anything as a conversation starter and hoping something sticks. I don't think most people are being intentionally rude.

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Just to insult women specifically or "i'm going to call her a slut because she didn't like my pick up line of 'nice tits, lets fuck'"?

argonautweakend posted...

Just to insult women specifically or "i'm going to call her a slut because she didn't like my pick up line of 'nice tits, lets fuck'"?

Just to insult women. Like this guy matched me to tell me I looked like a quoakka with T-Rex arms lmao

Which I mean okay, sure. But I have super long arms actually so that doesn't make sense. But it's just a weird behavior.

When I asked why he is wasting his time acting like this he just said "lol stop it's a compliment"

No it's not, lol. It's negging. And it doesn't work on me.

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I thought good girls liked bad boys ?

Kotenks posted...

I find that men who do this are frustrated at their lives and lash out at women because they're an easy target that the men can hurt.

I almost feel empathy for him because he's Chinese and honestly a lot of the Asian guys I match with explicitly ask me if I'm okay with them being Asian? So maybe they get a ton of shit. But like I didn't say anything to this dude so it's hard for me to feel too bad.

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Some people never grow out of being bullies

See: >50% of the police force

Maybe they're assuming it's a bot they're insulting

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JOExHIGASHI posted...

Maybe they're assuming it's a bot they're insulting

Idk he didn't even try to ascertain if I was a bot lol

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Some guys just turn into total shits the moment they feel like they arent being watched or that there arent any consequences for their actions

or theyre miserable and theyve got to invent reasons to judge others so that they can feel like theyre superior to somebody

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Can we get an example, Jen?

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Maybe it gets them more attention then being nice or using flattery.

HornedLion posted...

Can we get an example, Jen?

I already gave one in this topic

Archgoat posted...

Maybe it gets them more attention then being nice or using flattery.

But why do that on a dating site? The point is to meet people, not insult them.

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Jen0125 posted...

But why do that on a dating site? The point is to meet people, not insult them.

I can't say definitively, because that would never be something I would of done, but my theory would be that they may get more reaction or conversation going by starting with something kind of insulting then just saying they think the lady is very attractive or something along those lines that they think she hears all the time. Either that, or they are just very jaded people who don't like women, which there are plenty of those out there I am sure, especially single men.

jkdarlow posted...

I thought good girls liked bad boys ?

that's not what that means

to be a bad boy you have to be rough-and-tumble but also respectful towards women

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Kanatteru posted...

that's not what that means

to be a bad boy you have to be rough-and-tumble but also respectful towards women

To be a bad boy you need to be a naughty little child who deserves to be spanked by mommy

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Could be:

Lashing out in frustration or boredom from lack of success on the app
Example:
I remember joining okcupid and sending a lot of messages out to people that were thought out based on their profile and then not receiving any responses. I wrote a message I thought was perfect to a person, I thought the girl and I were compatible and that it would for sure get a response. When she didn't say anything back I was very frustrated and sent her a snarky message, I doubted that she would read it anyway and wanted to vent. I wasn't insulting but it definitely wasn't the best thing to send.
I've also sent out some message that are more of a "fuck it, lets see what happens" mentality.

Inexperience with dating leading to thinking that they are actually doing the correct thing in order to get a date
Example:
I am definitely inexperienced in pursuing women both online and in person. All of my long-term relationships involved the girl pursuing me so I never really had to learn. So I'm learning as I go and I imagine others doing the same might just have bad tactics (or maybe insulting is actually good, idk)

Someone insulted them, so now they're insulting you. Some girls on the app can be pretty mean, matching with you and then insulting you. Then they'll block you so you can't even response. So they do the same to another person.

Enjoying being mean, some people are ass holes.

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Kanatteru posted...

that's not what that means

to be a bad boy you have to be rough-and-tumble but also respectful towards women

Wait, so i shouldnt be going around calling woman a bunch of slags ? do they actually not like it or something ?

Jen0125 posted...

Just to insult women. Like this guy matched me to tell me I looked like a quoakka with T-Rex arms lmao

Which I mean okay, sure. But I have super long arms actually so that doesn't make sense. But it's just a weird behavior.

When I asked why he is wasting his time acting like this he just said "lol stop it's a compliment"

No it's not, lol. It's negging. And it doesn't work on me.

Okay. So heres the thing. There seems to be this idea that dudes have to work extra hard to stand out. Especially in their opening message. And thats not exactly wrong.

His message couldve been a bad attempt at this. Or, much like the raptors in Jurassic park, theyre testing the fence for weaknesses. Meaning if your hot ass gets upset at that remark, BUT you have a low self esteem... youll be a hot chick thats easy to control. And what beta fuck wouldnt want that?

Now, if you want to know what I say to women on dating sites that gets them to respond favorably 99% of the time... then youll have to sign up for my Dont Be A Beta Cuck workshop. Also... dont forget to hit like and subscribe.


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Remember all those cartoons that showed cavemen hit a woman it the head with a club and then drag them into a cave

How fucking dark is that in retrospect

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Mead posted...

Remember all those cartoons that showed cavemen hit a woman it the head with a club and then drag them into a cave

How fucking dark is that in retrospect

Like it's much different now.

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Maybe there should be some kind of class in public school that teaches boys how to respect women and the appropriate way to try to let someone know they are interested in non negative or abusive ways

Sad that some have to be taught that but its obviously the case

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Women have to carry a lot of blame in this since in many households its the mother in the lead. Same for teachers in early school years. There is a deficit of male teachers. A lot of women have backwards views on women and pass them onto their male children.

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MeteoricBurst posted...

Women have to carry a lot of blame in this since in many households its the mother in the lead. Same for teachers in early school years. There is a deficit of male teachers. A lot of women have backwards views on women and pass them onto their male children.

No. Women are not responsible for the actions of grown men in their dating life. Full stop.

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Because Chad doesn't give a fuck

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Jen0125 posted...

No. Women are not responsible for the actions of grown men in their dating life. Full stop.

Nah I meant what Mead was talking about with schooling. That stuff should be coming from home or at least very early school. By the time you reach secondary/high school nobody should have to teach you this stuff. I agree with you on adults.

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MeteoricBurst posted...

Nah I meant what Mead was talking about with schooling. That stuff should be coming from home or at least very early school. By the time you reach secondary/high school nobody should have to teach you this stuff. I agree with you on adults.

Oh okay.

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MeteoricBurst posted...

Women have to carry a lot of blame in this since in many households its the mother in the lead. Same for teachers in early school years. There is a deficit of male teachers. A lot of women have backwards views on women and pass them onto their male children.

so there arent enough male teachers and you think women are to blame for that

maybe you would have benefited from such a proposed class

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MeteoricBurst posted...

By the time you reach secondary/high school nobody should have to teach you this stuff.

Yet, clearly, someone does need to.

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This is a good question. I don't really have an answer for it. Just like I don't know why people are on dating apps "looking for friends" as if there aren't tons of apps and sites for that kind of thing. If I'm on a dating app, it certainly isn't to add to my friend group.

Mead posted...

so there arent enough male teachers and you think women are to blame for that

maybe you would have benefited from such a proposal

Maybe you should have been taught proper reading comprehension. Though I suspect it's just you trolling again as usual. My post didn't suggest what you're saying at all. I never said they're to blame for lack of male teachers (or fathers). The point was that women often dominate the household and early teaching. Therefore, if young boys aren't being taught to respect women properly that's on them. They are the ones in those roles. The lack of men (good ones) around is a whole separate issue compounding the problem.

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It's common knowledge that women shoulder most of the child rearing even if there is a father around. Just to add.

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MeteoricBurst posted...

Maybe you should have been taught proper reading comprehension. Though I suspect it's just you trolling again as usual. My post didn't suggest what you're saying at all. I never said they're to blame for lack of male teachers (or fathers). The point was that women often dominate the household and early teaching. Therefore, if young boys aren't being taught to respect women properly that's on them. They are the ones in those roles. The lack of men (good ones) around is a whole separate issue compounding the problem.

Even if what youre saying about mothers is true, and Im not convinced that it is, wouldnt fathers be just as much to blame for not being a more constructive presence during early development and shouldnt they try to set a good example by treating women with respect themselves?

I have a hard time believing that a lot of the worst offenders on the internet had a positive male role model that they saw treating women with mutual respect.

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It means they like you Jen

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ArvTheGreat posted...

It means they like you Jen

this unfortunately. a lot of men have literally been raised to be illiterate in terms of expressing affection. but they learned that teasing/negative attention is somehow good. which sucks!!!

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Jen0125 posted...

It's common knowledge that women shoulder most of the child rearing even if there is a father around. Just to add.

Yup.

Mead posted...

Even if what youre saying about mothers is true, and Im not convinced that it is, wouldnt fathers be just as much to blame for not being a more constructive presence during early development and shouldnt they try to set a good example by treating women with respect themselves?

I have a hard time believing that a lot of the worst offenders on the internet had a positive male role model that they saw treating women with mutual respect.

I already said that's the second issue. It's just like Jen said. Men need to take a lot more responsibility. If you don't want the work of raising children properly, don't bother having any. Not sure why you are seemingly trying to absolve mothers though. Unfairly or not they are tasked with the bulk of child rearing. If things go bad they have to take responsibility for much of that too.

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MeteoricBurst posted...

Not sure why you are seemingly trying to absolve mothers though

Im trying to think of solutions to try to make things better in the future. You seem more interested in pinpointing where you think the blame lies. Personally I think the blame is spread pretty evenly through our culture but ultimately anyone treating another person badly is responsible for their own actions.

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ReturnOfFa posted...

this unfortunately. a lot of men have literally been raised to be illiterate in terms of expressing affection. but they learned that teasing/negative attention is somehow good. which sucks!!!

Yeah it sucks for them because I'm not interested in playing those games. I don't need to get to know anyone that is just going to be making fun of me all the time.

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Kanatteru posted...

to be a bad boy you have to be rough-and-tumble but also respectful towards women

~skids in on motorcycle~

just like me!

~puts on sunglasses and does a wheelie~

Isn't that just how the internet is? Like you do realize women on those sites insult men for things like being under 6ft right? Humans suck.

BlackScythe0 posted...

Isn't that just how the internet is? Like you do realize women on those sites insult men for things like being under 6ft right? Humans suck.

People should treat each other with decency. Even on the internet. I dont think its an unreasonable standard to hold each other to.

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BlackScythe0 posted...

Isn't that just how the internet is? Like you do realize women on those sites insult men for things like being under 6ft right? Humans suck.

I see men's profiles always saying "6' since that matters" or whatever their tall height is. That does suck. Are women actually insulting them though or voicing a preference for tall men and the men are getting upset? There's a difference there. I don't have experience with that because I'm not a height queen.

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I was never an extensive user of dating apps, but I was never once questioned or insulted about my height. But I'm almost 6' so maybe they're a bit more forgiving towards me. Also, most women I tend to match with tend to be kind and funny and don't seem like the types to insult random dudes for their height. Do not doubt that there are vicious women who hate short men out there though.

I've always found it strange how its fine for a woman to say they only want a tall man but if a bloke has a preference for a woman they kick off and say you should like them just the way they are.

313800 posted...

I've always found it strange how its fine for a woman to say they only want a tall man but if a bloke has a preference for a woman they kick off and say you should like them just the way they are.

This is factually inaccurate. Men are allowed to have preferences just like women are. It's an individual attraction.

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