Current Events > Would you ask your SO's father for permission to marry her?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or is that an old thing to do?
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Old af. These days you marry them without their father realizing they were even in a relationship
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I'm never getting married but if I was, I would
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Depends on her family. If they were old fashioned, maybe.

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Nope. She's her own person capable of making her own decisions.
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Nope. I asked her mother for her blessing but her father was an ass so I didn't particularly care.

Her mom was really touched that I asked. Women eat up that old school stuff.

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my fiancee asked that i did, so i did it. he said yeah of course lol.
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I'd tell him I'd like his blessing, but I'd go ahead with or without it
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I dont think Ive spent more then 5 minutes with my gf's dad...may need to get around to that.
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Don't do it. If you ask her father, her mother's going to know, too and then it's likely more of the family will hear. You essentially ruin the surprise of an announcement for your fiance to be, having them be the third or fourth (or beyond) person to know they're getting married, which just seems like a horrible deflation.
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Our boy DSP didn't. Nothing he could do.
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We're engaged, sadly he died a few years ago. I doubt I would have asked but I'm sad I never got to meet him, sounds like he was one of the better people in her life.

No he asks ME for permission to become my father in law

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Been married twice, certainly didn't ask my fathers-in-law-to-be for their permission. It's not like their daughters were their property.
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I asked my wife's parents for their permission/blessing and it went well.
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This just made me realize most of the girls I've dated don't have a relationship with their father.
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I have to out of courtesy. Were getting married regardless of his answer, though.
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I did.

The family loves me and we had been dating for many years, so everyone knew we'd end up marrying anyway. I just did it as a sort of formality.
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008Zulu posted...

Nope. She's her own person capable of making her own decisions.

Yeah, that's why I didn't ask. Plus my father-in-law would've blown the surprise.
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I didn't. I felt like it wouldn't have really been in the spirit of the thing. I did something a little different.

I may have just guessed this one totally wrong, but here's the way I figured it:

The idea is that children have a place in the nuclear family, and that the father is the leader. Certainly makes sense if you consider how old the tradition is. So to marry a girl without her father's consent would be, like, eloping or something. Of course, people usually don't marry in their teens anymore so it's kind of questionable whether this should even still apply.

But in Mrs. DevsBro's case, her parents divorced when she was young and her mother had custody. Furthermore, their father hadn't shown particular interest in them. I mean, he was involved but it all felt obligatory. So by all accounts, he wouldn't have cared anyway, and by the spirit of the thing, her mother was more the leader of the family since the family more or less didn't include her father.

But also, since we wete in our 20's and we both even lived on our own, the spirit of the thing sorta didn't even apply anyway, but not wanting to touch any nerves, I decided to at least least acknowledge the tradition.

What I ended up doing was explaining to her mother that it really wasn't up to her because Mrs. DevsBro was her own woman, but that I hoped I had her blessing. She was cool with that, and like I suspected, her dad didn't care.

"I'm getting married!"
"Oh, ok."
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Hell no. I'm her daddy now.
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My husband didnt ask because Im no ones property.

Cleo_II posted...

My husband didnt ask because Im no ones property.

Not even his?
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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Depends on her family. If they were old fashioned, maybe.

This. I would have with my ex but her dad already approved of me & we had been living together for awhile, so it didn't matter.

only if we were at the point where i wanted to propose but i haven't met her parents. otherwise no.
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I didn't ask my wife's dad for permission but he was pretty much out of the picture at the time.
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