Current Events > I think I have accepted my lot in life

(+) Yeah! (+)

I haven't really felt a desire for a girlfriend in a while now. and I don't find myself feeling like I am wasting my life. (I am, in the eyes of others. but I don't feel it myself). I just don't care anymore. maybe this is a phase in depression. but I am content with where I am now. just living with my cat and being alone. I don't even think I would know how to be in a relationship. at one time a few years ago, I had a chance at getting a girlfriend. and I actually felt anxiety everytime I was with her. and relief each time it was over and I got back home again by myself.

If you're genuinely content, as opposed to numbing out unfulfilled desires, then you're doing entirely well in life!

Yeah that's pretty much me too. I don't have my life in order in the least on top of it. No full time work, no future. I've got my home, my cat, my whole family under 2 miles away and see them every day. I'm fine. I know there's probably the sword of doom hanging over my future but I mean fuck it. What the hell am I suppose to do about shit that's way out of my control anyway. I think I'm happy most of the time in my little world. Sure every now and then I feel the horrifying depression of what's to become of me creep up. But it's rare.

Only once have I had anyone (a family friend) question why I didn't have a girlfriend, don't I want to get married, start a family, etc. I wasn't prepared for it. I just said it wasn't for me. But honestly. One, because women and their unhinged emotional drama scares the shit out of me. And two, because I love me. I love my life. And having to concern myself with and make room for someone else in my life on a daily basis is annoying and too much work.
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