Current Events > How did your coming out go?

(+) Yeah! (+)

My mother cried, told me she failed as a mother and that she was happy that my grand father was dead, so he would never learn that.
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Oh man that sucks :(, hope she'll learn to accept.

My parents and family accepts me. I cried, my dad was relieved he thought I was hiding some disease or something.

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men. It was scary too but they accepted me again, I cried again. Dad thought my friend was a criminal or something bad that's why I didn't talk so much about him....

My sisters know I like older men and they accept me.
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great
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FF_Redux posted...

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men.

i still don't get dis lol, you're like 30, which iirc is pretty old already lol
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FF_Redux posted...

Oh man that sucks :(, hope she'll learn to accept.

My parents and family accepts me. I cried, my dad was relieved he thought I was hiding some disease or something.

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men. It was scary too but they accepted me again, I cried again. Dad thought my friend was a criminal or something bad that's why I didn't talk so much about him....

My sisters know I like older men and they accept me.

Oh, she accepts it now. she was nice to my bf. She changed, but I still get a "If you find a girl cute if you become single, don't hesitate to talk to her".
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

FF_Redux posted...

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men.

i still don't get dis lol, you're like 30, which iirc is pretty old already lol

Imagine having to tell your parents you date men who are pretty much their age.

Intergenerational dating is not accepted, people just think "daddy/mommy issues, in it for the money, older person is just using the younger etc" and I've heard all of that just on CE.
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

FF_Redux posted...

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men.

i still don't get dis lol, you're like 30, which iirc is pretty old already lol

I met a guy who only wanted to date 40 and more.

He was 18.

He told me I was a little young compared to his usual dates

I am 28, he was fucking 18.
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V-E-G-Y- posted...

FF_Redux posted...

I "had to" come out again when I told my parents I like and date older men.

i still don't get dis lol, you're like 30, which iirc is pretty old already lol

Yeah but he likes old dudes. Like really old
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FF_Redux posted...

Intergenerational dating

so there's even a word for it lol



smh tbh
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"Duh, now go make dinner"

Well, not exactly. But they knew I was into women already, so wasn't really a surprise, nor did they care.
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Btw, one of my sisters when I came out to her just hugged me and said "I know".
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You guys are lucky.
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Positive; it was all in my head. I've had a bunch of friends get kicked out and disowned and stuff, so I didn't bother saying anything until I was alright on my own in the first place, and more importantly once I was actually dating a dude.

Was visiting the parents, lingered around for a bit. Realized I had to get going soon so I told them I'd starting dating a dude and wanted to let them know. There was a few more sentences exchanged along the line of "thanks for telling us and we look forward to meeting him" and then I bailed.

Talked on the phone the next night for about half an hour about everything; how I've always been this way and stuff. Parents said they still love me and look forward to my adopted or surrogate baby. Thank goodness for an older brother who's already got kids; the grandparenting urge is real.

Also two of my mom's good friends/cousins growing up (one of whom is my godparent) are gay so I'm sure that sort of casual exposure helped them.

Had to come out again to brother and his wife about a week or two later. It gets easier after the first one, lol.
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Btw, I still haven't come out to anyone outside family. That is hard, I have some ppl in uni that I hang out with that I should tell but I dunno why I'm not, I don't want them to see me differently I dunno.
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FF_Redux posted...

Btw, I still haven't come out to anyone outside family. That is hard, I have some ppl in uni that I hang out with that I should tell but I dunno why I'm not, I don't want them to see me differently I dunno.

I know that feel. I feel everytime I meet new people, I need to come out again before people often mistake me as straight. It doesn't help that some dumb chick thought I was straight at first and when I came out, she started thinking I could be her "fashion gay friend".
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epik_fail1 posted...

FF_Redux posted...

Btw, I still haven't come out to anyone outside family. That is hard, I have some ppl in uni that I hang out with that I should tell but I dunno why I'm not, I don't want them to see me differently I dunno.

I know that feel. I feel everytime I meet new people, I need to come out again before people often mistake me as straight. It doesn't help that some dumb chick thought I was straight at first and when I came out, she started thinking I could be her "fashion gay friend".

Yeah I am pretty "straight", so ppl just assume it. Other than me being open about emotions I guess. I still "lie" when people talk about things and comment "when you get a girl etc.." and I don't correct them.
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I still haven't.
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FF_Redux posted...

epik_fail1 posted...

FF_Redux posted...

Btw, I still haven't come out to anyone outside family. That is hard, I have some ppl in uni that I hang out with that I should tell but I dunno why I'm not, I don't want them to see me differently I dunno.

I know that feel. I feel everytime I meet new people, I need to come out again before people often mistake me as straight. It doesn't help that some dumb chick thought I was straight at first and when I came out, she started thinking I could be her "fashion gay friend".

Yeah I am pretty "straight", so ppl just assume it. Other than me being open about emotions I guess. I still "lie" when people talk about things and comment "when you get a girl etc.." and I don't correct them.

I try to abstain doing it as well, but always end up doing that anyway. I wish I could stop being that insecure.
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You know what hurt the most? It's that I know muslims that come from countries who kill gays who told me they did not care that I was gay and would not treat me differently because of it and my mother who was born here react like that.
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My parents suspected for years, really just my mom, but she told my dad she thought I'm gay. When I was like 16, my dad told me in a car ride that my mom had told him he has to be ready if me or my brothers are gay, but I didn't confirm anything for him then. Then they approached me about it two years later because I wrote two things on a college application that hinted I could be gay. (The question was what historical event I wish I could see, and I said the stonewall riots.)

But the first person I told was my grandmother, before my parents spoke with me about it.

I told my parents I wanted to tell my brothers myself, but they didn't listen and told them instead. I walked in on the scene right after my mom had told my little brother. He said knowing I'm gay, he changed his mind about marriage equality from "it should be decided by states" to "just legalize it everywhere." Even though that's a good thing, I was still a bit angry about how he clearly had no rationale to hold that position in the first place, if all it took to change his mind was knowing that a close person would be affected.

I only occasionally come out to people now. It can be hard because a lot of the time, if you tell somebody early on, it's all they consider you as when they think of you. A lot of people stop thinking of you as a person like anybody else, and when your name/face float up in their mind, they just think "the gay guy"
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Hasn't happened and might never happen.

It just seems like a headache to tell my immediate family. It's 50/50 in terms of whether or not they'd be okay with it. My parents and I believe my sister are all liberal and voted for Clinton and whatnot, but my parents (especially my dad) are also pretty racist and I could see those attitudes extending towards gays as well. I don't honestly care all that much about whether or not they would accept me, but it just seems like a headache if they cut off all contact with me entirely. I'd rather not deal with the drama leading up to that.

Not sure how my sister would go, but we've never really been on amazing terms. She was always sort of my bully since she was four years older than me, and I've always been cripplingly shy and just a quiet person in general so I never really stood up to her. We still aren't on amazing terms when it comes to one-on-one contact, though I babysit her kids fairly often and our relationship has improved slightly on that basis. I also love the hell out of my niece and nephew so I wouldn't want to lose that if she were to react poorly.

Beyond that, it comes down to family members that I like, but know wouldn't like it, so I'd rather they not find out. My dad's parents are incredibly intolerant in general but have always been really nice to me. My mom's parents are a bit more tolerant, but I know my grandma in particular hates gay people. I once overheard her talking to my mom about how she can't believe that "that kind of stuff" happens in our area when she heard about "men looking for men" on Craigslist. She also refuses to watch Ellen DeGeneres and admits to hating her because she's a lesbian. But that set of grandparents has always been awesome to me otherwise and I'd rather not lose contact with them.

Same goes for my cousin, who is probably the nicest person I've ever met, but is also a hardcore Christian and pretty far right politically, and who has kind of hinted at not being comfortable with gay people in the past. I'm not as sure how she'd react, but I care about her and would rather not lose that point of contact.

In terms of friends, a few that I know are okay with it do know and were pretty nonchalant about it. I have several others who I know openly hate gays and I haven't bothered to tell them.

Living in an extremely hardcore fundie town in southern Missouri is rough as a gay person. Most people aren't exactly understanding here.
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