Current Events > Im 37 and never been on a date

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ive been on dates with probably 100 women over the years and never been in a long-term relationship (just a few that lasted a few months). Not sure whats worse, mine or TCs situation.

umax555 posted...

Ive been on dates with probably 100 women over the years and never been in a long-term relationship (just a few that lasted a few months). Not sure whats worse, mine or TCs situation.

Yours is definitely better. You just need to figure out how to stay with someone long term. Do you even want to? Are you picking the wrong people? Is it the right people, but need to work on communication? You at least have a starting point to start from.

Not that TC's situation is that bad either depending on the why. It would be nice if he would come back and address the questions about his social life in general.

TuxedoCyan posted...

For me, I was able to identify girls that showed interest in me back in my school days, but I was too afraid to ask them out fearing either being rejected or being accepted and then having to be in a relationship.

When I was 18, I finally got the guts to ask a girl out to lunch and she said yes without hesitation. I was confident because she had been showing obvious signs she liked me for a few months prior and I kind of liked her and she was very polite and really shy which helped me make my decision. Even after having lunch with her, I didn't ask her out on any dates or to be my gf or anything even though I knew for certain she liked me and she would have said yes. I probably let her down by not asking her out.

I was just not ready to grow up back then. I'm still not ready now.

I will admit that short lunch I had with her, was probably the most confidence I've ever felt in my life about myself, which also scared me.

Imagine having women like you hohoho. Okay that's a lie. There was one girl in 7th grade who kept trying to call me nicknames and giggling at me, but I just wasn't attracted to her. I was obsessed with a different girl with an Italian like name who had olive skin, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I only went on to make a complete asshole of myself when given the opportunity to spend time with that girl.

Besides that and a completely questionable time in High School, literally no one.

Diceheist posted...

I don't get the oddity here.

All it takes to never go on a date:

- not being asked out on a date.

- not knowing how to identify anyone interested in dating you or how to actually ask them out in a date.

It's very simple. The combo of not physically standing out and lacking social logistics just works like that.

People understand all that just fine. What's odd is it going on for 20+ years. Those are all things that can be changed/learned.

I've never eaten a date

as far as i can tell, its becoming increasingly common

the world is not kind to certain types

and its only getting harder. more people than ever are living with their parents in their 30s. prices are going up. people are having less sex and engaging in fewer relationships. its not good, and no one is doing anything about it

or at least, not the people with the power to

bsp77 posted...

Yours is definitely better. You just need to figure out how to stay with someone long term. Do you even want to? Are you picking the wrong people? Is it the right people, but need to work on communication? You at least have a starting point to start from.

Not that TC's situation is that bad either depending on the why. It would be nice if he would come back and address the questions about his social life in general.

I do want to get married and have kids. Its really a combination of factors. Its very hard for me to truly fall in love with someone as I tend to lose interest after a few dates and break things off. And the few girls I truly did feel something for ended up dumping me themselves. I have one particular ex from a couple years ago who was way out of my league and I really thought she could be the one. Then after a few months she suddenly lost interest and dumped me. She was legit a 10 in my opinion, so I think dating her f***ed with my brain and raised my standards to a level that might not be a realistic. I know looks arent the most important thing, but physical attraction is certainly important. And its hard for me to feel that now for the type of women who typically show interest in me.

lolife67 posted...

People understand all that just fine. What's odd is it going on for 20+ years. Those are all things that can be changed/learned.

And this is why I usually have precious little sympathy for people in the TC's position. If you're genuinly aromantic or asexual, that's fine. The vast majority of incels and other adjacent types, though, not only have no social aptitude whatsoever, they refuse to learn it, despite it being an often vital skill in areas other than dating.

Being introverted, autistic (speaking as a high functioning autistic man myself, by the way) and/or simply disliking certain activities is no more an excuse for being completely incapable in social situations than finding cooking tedious is an excuse for not being able to feed yourself.