Current Events > For those who are married, do you ever miss the single life?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I guess it could be missing being truly single and doing whatever to waste time, but I personally mean more like dating around, partying and whatnot.

If so, what do you do about it?

For the record, I am happy the vast majority of the time, but sometimes... the grass is greener...

Never.

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Same. For my wife

I think I like that excitement of anything can happen and having "firsts" with people

Alternatively, I am sooooo much more content now

I was content and happy with single life, but I feel much more complete now.

Turbam posted...

I was content and happy with single life, but I feel much more complete now.

Oh yeah, did you get married in December?

@Gladius_ you know, when I posted this topic, I thought, I hope Gladius doesn't see this and judge me lol

Yeah, it was December 6th

I couldn't imagine being married.

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Thanks lol

Maybe I am just upset about getting old and thinking all my excitement is behind me or something.

I know I would be miserable if single now, and most of friends have boring, stable lives too.

I think I just signed up for a half marathon to feel young

No, and that's coming from a huge introvert. My husband really is my safe space and has proven time and time again everything will be ok when the chips are down.

I have been married for 25 years to the love of my life. I regret nothing and consider myself very fortunate. And yet:there are some things about being single I still miss. There is a freedom to my decisions being wholly my own that I will never have again.

But the positives of my happy and stable marriage far FAR outweigh the negatives. But there is nothing wrong with missing what is lost. Every decision, even the ones that lead to great things, has a cost.

Westernwolf4 posted...

I have been married for 25 years to the love of my life. I regret nothing and consider myself very fortunate. And yet:there are some things about being single I still miss. There is a freedom to my decisions being wholly my own that I will never have again.

But the positives of my happy and stable marriage far FAR outweigh the negatives. But there is nothing wrong with missing what is lost. Every decision, even the ones that lead to great things, has a cost.

This is awesome, and yeah, you get what I am saying

Not married yet, but no. Thankfully that grass is always greener syndrome doesn't really hit me. I'll see women sometimes that make me think "wow she's pretty" but never anything that makes me actually want to pursue them or wish I was single again. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a girlfriend that I vibe with so well and I'm not fucking that up lol

But it probably also helps that the dating around part was very stressful for me. It was fun meeting new people, but the constant worry of if the date went well, did I say the right things, make the right impression, etc., was horrible. I'd rather not have to go through that again if there's nothing wrong with my relationship

Eh, some things I think about and miss but it always passes. It's like thinking over a find memory but I don't dwell on it or anything like that. Just reminisce and move on.

bsp77 posted...

Thanks lol

Maybe I am just upset about getting old and thinking all my excitement is behind me or something.

I know I would be miserable if single now, and most of friends have boring, stable lives too.

I think I just signed up for a half marathon to feel young

You and your wife could travel to someplace you have always wanted to go, or take a class together for something you have always wanted to learn, or maybe run that marathon together.

I know it sounds trite, but I have found that my experiences are so much more exciting now that I have a special person to share it with.

NoxObscuras posted...

Not married yet, but no. Thankfully that grass is always greener syndrome doesn't really hit me. I'll see women sometimes that make me think "wow she's pretty" but never anything that makes me actually want to pursue them or wish I was single again. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a girlfriend that I vibe with so well and I'm not fucking that up lol

But it probably also helps that the dating around part was very stressful for me. It was fun meeting new people, but the constant worry of if the date went well, did I say the right things, make the right impression, etc., was horrible. I'd rather not have to go through that again if there's nothing wrong with my relationship

Happy you are happy, man!

lolife67 posted...

Eh, some things I think about and miss but it always passes. It's like thinking over a find memory but I don't dwell on it or anything like that. Just reminisce and move on.

This is pretty much it. I am just posting during that moment.

Westernwolf4 posted...

You and your wife could travel to someplace you have always wanted to go, or take a class together for something you have always wanted to learn, or maybe run that marathon together.

I know it sounds trite, but I have found that my experiences are so much more exciting now that I have a special person to share it with.

Not trite at all. We had a fantastic Saturday exploring a little town nearby, going in shops, walking around, drinking at a brewery, getting apps.

And we have our official honeymoon in May to Europe

bsp77 posted...

Happy you are happy, man!

This is pretty much it. I am just posting during that moment.

Not trite at all. We had a fantastic Saturday exploring a little town nearby, going in shops, walking around, drinking at a brewery, getting apps.

And we have our official honeymoon in May to Europe

That is so awesome, enjoy your honeymoon! Our honeymoon was the Disney Cruise, but only because we met in Europe. Our first trip together was to Paris-not even I can screw that up.

I know it will be an awesome experience for you both!

28 years strong here. I've never regretted the decision to marry my husband. There's a 23 year age difference between us, so I knew there would eventually be challenges as we both got older, (and that ended up being true), but I'm still completely in love with him.
Single life was definitely fun, (but also pretty dangerous with the AIDS epidemic). I got most of that really wild shit out of my system when I was still fairly young, and was ready to be in a committed relationship in my mid-20's.

bsp77 posted...

Happy you are happy, man!

Thanks

This is pretty much it. I am just posting during that moment.

Nothing wrong with that. So long as you work through your thoughts and don't bottle up anything that's seriously bothering you. Not saying you're doing that, but I know guys that have done that in long relationships and held it until it exploded... They're doing couples therapy now though.

Westernwolf4 posted...

That is so awesome, enjoy your honeymoon! Our honeymoon was the Disney Cruise, but only because we met in Europe. Our first trip together was to Paris-not even I can screw that up.

I know it will be an awesome experience for you both!

Wait, are you the guy who ditched his friends on vacation in the UK to go on a side trip with a woman he just met? :)

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

28 years strong here. I've never regretted the decision to marry my husband. There's a 23 year age difference between us, so I knew there would eventually be challenges as we both got older, (and that ended up being true), but I'm still completely in love with him.

Yeah, I am 16 years older than her. I do worry if it will rough on her in the future

I have a couple of times.

Never enough to wish I hadn't gotten married even for a second, though.

My wife is fucking fantastic, but im not gonna lie and pretend that I've never at least been tempted. I'm a mildly attractive guy in my 40s and I get hit on a lot.

TC can relate. When you moderately keep yourself in shape and youre still fun, you're appealing to a large amount of women of varying age ranges. It's how I imagine being a 27 year old average woman is like. I would never actually do anything, but it's super flattering to have those same 27 year olds throwing themselves at you. It's weird, but it's a nice ego stroke.

As far as ever thinking I married the wrong woman. Never. Not even for a second. I had other options and they went on to prove my reluctance to marry them to be 100% founded. Meanwhile my wife is here being a bad bitch and making my life way more awesome.

bsp77 posted...

Wait, are you the guy who ditched his friends on vacation in the UK to go on a side trip with a woman he just met? :)

Yeah, I am 16 years older than her. I do worry if it will rough on her in the future

I am that guy! I hadnt just met her though, we had been talking for a couple months and we had classes together. But I was going on a long planned Spring Break trip to Scotland with my buddies, and she came up to me at the train station and asked if I wanted to just drop everything and go to Paris with her instead. Best decision I ever made, and even my friends agree!

I forgot that I posted about that here. It is pretty close to a Good Will Hunting situation, but it all worked out great for me! By the end of that trip we were talking about our future together, and three months later we were engaged.

Hell no. I'm a huge introvert. I always hated the dating life and going out partying was never a thing I did regularly.

I'm so glad I found my wife.

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, I am 16 years older than her. I do worry if it will rough on her in the future

There are things you two can do to plan ahead for these types of eventualities. A strong relationship can absolutely withstand a significant age gap.

Not so much the dating, but the partying, roaming the casinos and even some nightclubs. My wife says no problem - just take her with me. Bless her heart.

What about those not married but not single? Those of us with girlfriends and boyfriends with no plans to get married?

I'm engaged to a woman I've been dating for 11 years now. I don't even remember what the single life was like, nor do I want to from the shit I've seen my friends go through lol

Jiek_Fafn posted...

TC can relate

I appreciate that

LightningThief posted...

What about those not married but not single? Those of us with girlfriends and boyfriends with no plans to get married?

Feel free to contribute

Too many posts to respond to! Love all the happy stories though and this actually has helped my mood.

See, CE doesn't have to always be toxic

Nah. Being married is the best thing that's happened to m e

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

There are things you two can do to plan ahead for these types of eventualities. A strong relationship can absolutely withstand a significant age gap.

I exercise, try to eat well, and am generally in good shape, especially for 47.

She slows me down if anything. I am sure that will change :)

Nope.

bsp77 posted...

Feel free to contribute

Sure.

I don't miss being single for the most part. The only thing I miss are those rare days I don't feel like being a boyfriend. Those rare days I just want to just exist, and the world leaves me alone for a day.

Near 40 and being single is pretty sweet.
I could get married to the right one but its cool if not.

bsp77 posted...

I exercise, try to eat well, and am generally in good shape, especially for 47.

She slows me down if anything. I am sure that will change :)

Glad you're in good health. Not to be a downer, but I was thinking more along the lines of making sure you've had serious discussions around wishes regarding quality of life decisions, getting appropriate paperwork in order for things such as Wills, Living Wills, Power of Attorney, etc.

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

Glad you're in good health. Not to be a downer, but I was thinking more along the lines of making sure you've had serious discussions around wishes regarding quality of life decisions, getting appropriate paperwork in order for things such as Wills, Living Wills, Power of Attorney, etc.

Yeah, I figured

Or I can just be happy to be having a beer on my deck on the house we just bought. I couldn't do this when single.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/779d5403.jpg

I was a sad dude before I met my wife. If I was cooler maybe Id miss the single life.

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I spent my entire 20s and 30s with a woman I don't think I ever was truly happy with. So yeah, that contributes. I had to do all my craziness in my early 40s.

Your life is only as boring as you make it ;P get out there, try to find time to vacation (even if it's just driving up for a weekend in a city you rarely go to), look for some fun events. Treat life like you're dating again (but with your SO) etc.

See post 17 :)

I miss the lack of responsibility and accountability to someone else for sure. Not so much the going out aspect. I do think if I were to be single again, I'd kill the dating scene.

I've been with the same girl since I was 13 and she was 14.

We are now both 36, and we've never regretted a thing about all our time together. I think a large part of it is, because we met so young, our interests and joys have aligned as we've grown.

We game together, nerd out together with comics and movies. We just enjoy spending our time together doing our hobbies.

Senta posted...

I've been with the same girl since I was 13 and she was 14.

We are now both 36, and we've never regretted a thing about all our time together. I think a large part of it is, because we met so young, our interests and joys have aligned as we've grown.

We game together, nerd out together with comics and movies. We just enjoy spending our time together doing our hobbies.

Nerds make the best partners. Well, if they know how to communicate. Many don't

My wife and I currently not talking. Not sure if this is the end of the line between us but it does feel rather refreshing to not have to be in her presence so much. But of course I miss her too tbf.

Do I miss certain aspects of single life? Of course I do.

Would I trade my family for any of it? Hell no. My wife is the only person outside of my immediate family who has truly loved me for who I am and has no desire to change anything about me. My weird matches her weird, and you cant put a price on that.

And my daughter is the greatest thing in my life and watching her grow up is the privilege of a lifetime.

Part of me does, but the other part overshadows it because I remember how boring hookups were.

And this was my only real relationship, and genuinely don't think it could be better. I'll read some threads about toxic relationships, and even the ones with trivial issues doesn't sound relatable.

luigi33 posted...

My wife and I currently not talking. Not sure if this is the end of the line between us but it does feel rather refreshing to not have to be in her presence so much. But of course I miss her too tbf.

Shit, man. You okay? Have we discussed this before?

Getting divorced from my first wife was such a relief and the best thing that could have happened to me at that point.

Current marriage > post divorce years of single, screwing around and short term relationships > first marriage