Current Events > These are "virginity statistics" according to Open AI

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm just saying calling it a fantasy is demeaning because its a reasonable desire

pikakaeru posted...

I'm just saying calling it a fantasy is demeaning because its a reasonable desire

Let's say I want to be a successful actor.

If I do absolutely nothing while daydreaming about it that makes it a fantasy.

If I am taking acting lessons and going to auditions that is now a goal that I am actively working towards.

A 'reasonable desire' is something that can be realistically accomplished. Wanting a relationship and person that hit very specific criteria while doing absolutely nothing to meet that type of person never mind get into a relationship with them means doesn't sound reasonable to me.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Let's say I want to be a successful actor.

If I do absolutely nothing while daydreaming about it that makes it a fantasy.

If I am taking acting lessons and going to auditions that is now a goal that I am actively working towards.

A 'reasonable desire' is something that can be realistically accomplished. Wanting a relationship that hit very specific criteria while doing absolutely nothing to meet that type of person never mind get into a relationship with them means doesn't sound reasonable to me.

its reasonable from a personal perspective, not from an opportunity perspective. there are still a lot of nerdy girls who arent super attractive that might be viegos

pikakaeru posted...

its reasonable from a personal perspective, not from an opportunity perspective. there are still a lot of nerdy girls who arent super attractive that might be viegos

How many do you personally know?

pikakaeru posted...

its reasonable from a personal perspective, not from an opportunity perspective. there are still a lot of nerdy girls who arent super attractive that might be viegos

Unlikely they are. And the few that are virgins have probably had a ton of experience hanging around with nerdy men and weren't interested. I think that is why my wife took a liking to me. I am nerdy, but also not.

Once again, most who lose their virginity later in life lose it to a non virgin, regardless of gender.

It is fine to desire it, but if it is a requirement, that is ridiculous.

maybe im just saying its not a messed up desire

pikakaeru posted...

maybe im just saying its not a messed up desire

But is it a requirement? I have desired lots of things I never expected to get.

pikakaeru posted...

maybe im just saying its not a messed up desire

I never called it a messed up desire. I called it a fantasy.

People can want a 40 year old nerd woman virgin all they like. Sure maybe some exist out there. But do they live nearby? Why are they a 40 year old virgin and why would they go for a 40 year old virgin man? How are they going to meet?

People and relationships aren't some checklist that someone is going to just magically appear and live up to. These are people who have their own lives, wants, desires, shortcomings etc. If you are someone who absolutely cannot compromise over anything or get anxious over the most basic social tasks then chances are the hopes for a relationship are dead before they have even started.

Because this hypothetical person isn't a goal or a realistic standard. It's a fantasy for someone who fantasizes about getting into a relationship with someone who has the exact same hobbies and shortcomings so they don't need to do anything to improve as a person or give any effort. The reality is a relationship is constantly about compromise, improving and trying.

Punished_Blinx posted...

It's a fantasy for someone who fantasizes about getting into a relationship with someone who has the exact same hobbies and shortcomings so they don't need to do anything to improve as a person or give any effort

Damn. Respect.

pikakaeru posted...

sterolizer why do you seek to "help" virgins? i think it comes from a place of perceived superiority

I know you weren't talking to him but I like to help virgins too so I'll answer, for me it's because I was one until 28 so when people think I don't understand, I really, really do.

It's definitely not a superiority flex or any of that bullshit its wanting to make other people realise that it all isn't as impossible as it may seem at the moment.

And I think hiring an escort is not as daunting as it seems. They don't sit there looking at their watch while you figure out how to put a condom on, to give an example of what I thought the experience might be like (and so was too scared to try it out)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h2WyPLZmvf8&pp=ygUQZmxhcGphY2sgc2t5bWFpZA%3D%3D

I have no desire to hire an escort so much can go wrong

pikakaeru posted...

I have no desire to hire an escort so much can go wrong

Agreed.

pikakaeru posted...

bsp77 posted...

But is it a requirement? I have desired lots of things I never expected to get.

Are you going to respond to this? Or to Punished's excellent post?

i would expect it to be 0 outside of those w/o sex organs...whatever that's called. if it's that hard for someone find legal prostitution.

I didn't realize I'd spark such a conversation.

I know it's an impossible fantasy. How about I just throw that ideal away? I'll have sex with any woman as long as she is STD free and not a prostitute. I'm still not going to meet or date anyone any time soon. I don't have a car. I don't have money. I don't have a job. I don't have my own place. I don't socialize and don't like to socialize. I have no friends. I don't like being out in public. I don't have nor will ever get on social media/dating apps. I personally think I am ugly as hell. I've been between 105-125 lbs my entire life. I have no self confidence. I have no self perseverance. And for the cherry on top of this poop cake, I don't have any desire to change any of these things. I honestly believe this is who I am. I know very well this is a sad and pathetic way of living. I've been told this hundreds of times over the last two decades. I get it.

I've been living like this my entire adult life. So while I would LIKE to have sex someday, I don't necessarily care or want to try to meet someone for it. I would also LIKE to win the lottery someday but that isn't happening either. That's what I compare it to.

TuxedoCyan posted...

I didn't realize I'd spark such a conversation.

I know it's an impossible fantasy. How about I just throw that ideal away? I'll have sex with any woman as long as she is STD free and not a prostitute. I'm still not going to meet or date anyone any time soon. I don't have a car. I don't have money. I don't have a job. I don't have my own place. I don't socialize and don't like to socialize. I have no friends. I don't like being out in public. I don't have nor will ever get on social media/dating apps. I personally think I am ugly as hell. I've been between 105-125 lbs my entire life. I have no self confidence. I have no self perseverance. And for the cherry on top of this poop cake, I don't have any desire to change any of these things. I honestly believe this is who I am. I know very well this is a sad and pathetic way of living. I've been told this hundreds of times over the last two decades. I get it.

I've been living like this my entire adult life. So while I would LIKE to have sex someday, I don't necessarily care or want to try to meet someone for it. I would also LIKE to win the lottery someday but that isn't happening either. That's what I compare it to.

This me when I was in a psych ward...I lost hope except I was not accepting myself or the situation I was in denial. I got In the psych ward and I was thinking i was dreaming well more accurate a nightmare. It took me 2 weeks to accept my fallen situation and after I was deemed more mentally sane I got my smartphone back with concerned texts asking from school friends.

I ignored some and only talked to my close woman friend and I only direct text her out of fear. I trust her sincerely and little other of my friends.
I was so good masking my emotions I scared myself reading them back on facebook messenger kept there as a statement to not falll as far again. I was quite fake af sounding.

Through this life experience I saw no improvements I just got good at masking and I got let out.
Then my mindset changed through my girl friend still talking and getting help from therapist.
Are you actually OK with yourself? I wasn't. People need social connections besides just parents. I still feel unqualified in the back of my mind saying this but I just don't see people enjoying life like this no matter their expressioned thoughts

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e9c29480.jpg
She checked on me when I was fine mentally and it just even though I don't sexually love her she's so valued to me. You need to meet people! It's eye opening when you meet genuinely kind people. I could have got hurt without her concern

Yeah, having friends you can turn to is crucial, and essential (for most people) before losing your virginity

bsp77 posted...

Yeah, having friends you can turn to is crucial, and essential (for most people) before losing your virginity

I yes but I mean mental health healing here specifically. You talk to nobody you're gonna start loathing yourself other peers or both

super_felicia posted...

Are you actually OK with yourself?

I am a lot happier now than when I was in school (grade, jr high, high). I absolutely hated myself when I had to go to school and be around people. I hated when I got a job at the grocery store. That was the most miserable experience of my life. After I quit working and I was done with high school, I just felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to work anymore. I didn't have to go to school anymore. I didn't have to do anything anymore. For the first few years I did get bored and depressed but I still preferred doing nothing with my life over having to be an adult.

Now I live life the way I want to and I do truly enjoy it. I wake up every morning, eat breakfast, watch some tv. Then I do my daily exercises, pushups, crunches, weights, then jump on the treadmill. Then I spend the rest of the day gaming / watching anime / watching youtube. Then I end my night watching more TV. I've been doing this for 24 years. (well the exercising daily routine didn't start until 2019, but I've kept it up to now, every day)

I'm proud to say I've put well over 600 miles of use on the treadmill and I can do over 100 pushups in a single set now. My cardio/stamina is much much stronger/better than it used to be. Back when I first started, I couldn't do 5 pushups and doing any kind of minimal physical activity tired me out. The exercise has moved the needle ever so slightly on my confidence meter. But it's like going from 0 to 1 on a scale of 100.

So when you ask if I really feel happy? I honestly do. I don't need a companion. I would like one, but I don't need one.

This is the question that I hate to ask but is a real concern - what happens when your parents are gone?

PS - I wish I could do 100 pushups at once

bsp77 posted...

This is the question that I hate to ask but is a real concern - what happens when your parents are gone?

PS - I wish I could do 100 pushups at once

No plans. I'm just going to inherit the house and then live off whatever money my parents leave me with and then once I have no choice left, either get a job or something something.

TuxedoCyan posted...

I am a lot happier now than when I was in school (grade, jr high, high). I absolutely hated myself when I had to go to school and be around people. I hated when I got a job at the grocery store. That was the most miserable experience of my life. After I quit working and I was done with high school, I just felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't have to work anymore. I didn't have to go to school anymore. I didn't have to do anything anymore. For the first few years I did get bored and depressed but I still preferred doing nothing with my life over having to be an adult.

Now I live life the way I want to and I do truly enjoy it. I wake up every morning, eat breakfast, watch some tv. Then I do my daily exercises, pushups, crunches, weights, then jump on the treadmill. Then I spend the rest of the day gaming / watching anime / watching youtube. Then I end my night watching more TV. I've been doing this for 24 years. (well the exercising daily routine didn't start until 2019, but I've kept it up to now, every day)

I'm proud to say I've put well over 600 miles of use on the treadmill and I can do over 100 pushups in a single set now. My cardio/stamina is much much stronger/better than it used to be. Back when I first started, I couldn't do 5 pushups and doing any kind of minimal physical activity tired me out. The exercise has moved the needle ever so slightly on my confidence meter. But it's like going from 0 to 1 on a scale of 100.

So when you ask if I really feel happy? I honestly do. I don't need a companion. I would like one, but I don't need one.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/da70bc81.jpg

OK we have variables on the need for socialness
Well if you're adamant you're not coping in denial like I was then I guess there is little for me to continue saying. I hope you can live on how you are and be.... well is content the right word? because you did say you have somewhat interest in women.

I used the image cos of how obsessed i am she delivered the line with extreme sadness in her voice I don't mean to be a jab at you despite the context of the game

I will say well congrats on the fitness I hate excercise at the gym very much. I walk places for excercise benefits inconsistently but it's not good enough but nice for you

TuxedoCyan posted...

Now I live life the way I want to and I do truly enjoy it. I wake up every morning, eat breakfast, watch some tv. Then I do my daily exercises, pushups, crunches, weights, then jump on the treadmill. Then I spend the rest of the day gaming / watching anime / watching youtube. Then I end my night watching more TV. I've been doing this for 24 years

god that sounds amazing

i wish it was feasible for anyone who wanted to, to just retreat from life

every day i fantasize about being the last man on earth. peace and quiet. just me and the birds

Dungeater posted...

god that sounds amazing

i wish it was feasible for anyone who wanted to, to just retreat from life

every day i fantasize about being the last man on earth. peace and quiet. just me and the birds

That sounds awful!

bsp77 posted...

That sounds awful!

That sounds potentially cool for 1 year and then it's awful

bsp77 posted...

That sounds awful!

no obligations. no phone calls. no work ringer constantly going off. no waking up early. no getting stuck in traffic. not having to maintain relationships. no bills to pay. not having to worry about housing or food

i want it so badly

super_felicia posted...

That sounds potentially cool for 1 year and then it's awful

i could do it for a lifetime

Dungeater posted...

no obligations. no phone calls. no work ringer constantly going off. no waking up early. no getting stuck in traffic. not having to maintain relationships. no bills to pay. not having to worry about housing or food

i want it so badly

No friendships, no shared laughter, no sex, no new experiences

Dungeater posted...

no obligations. no phone calls. no work ringer constantly going off. no waking up early. no getting stuck in traffic. not having to maintain relationships. no bills to pay. not having to worry about housing or food

i want it so badly

i could do it for a lifetime

What job do you have? Wanna swap bodies? You have a boyfriend I don't know anything about anything but you could be a shut in like I am now because of my British living and how British government is like giving money to mental and jobless people so easily.

bsp77 posted...

No friendships, no shared laughter, no sex

thats fine. im my best friend, my favorite comedian, and i can live without sex

bsp77 posted...

no new experiences

huh

i can do whatever i want in this scenario. ofc ill have new experiences

ill hook up my ps5 at the movie theater

ill make car city

ill try cooking new recipes every single day

like, there are infinite things to do

I left the real messages up far far too long without realising my first name is visible

am I a bit daft????
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7549afc5.jpg

pikakaeru posted...

I have no desire to hire an escort so much can go wrong

Like what?

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Like what?

Yes I am reminded of this topic where my name was visible and Im bothered despite how my name is a basic common bitch name
I love my first name I just wish my obnoxious af multiple middle names that reference to stop it get some help man and a word that rhymes with Fuck
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8c9b2637.jpg

super_felicia posted...

Yes I am reminded of this topic where my name was visible and Im bothered despite how my name is a basic common bitch name
I love my first name I just wish my obnoxious af multiple middle names that reference to stop it get some help man and a word that rhymes with Fuck
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8c9b2637.jpg

Did you mean to respond to me? I don't fully understand your post

I'm 37, so I'm getting there.

I'm diagnosed autistic, and have body dysmorphia issues, but I mostly credit it to never trying whatsoever.

Hornswoggled posted...

I'm 37, so I'm getting there.

I'm diagnosed autistic, and have body dysmorphia issues, but I mostly credit it to never trying whatsoever.

So my disabled client, the one from page 1 that started this conversation really into gear, is autistic too. I didn't want to mention that as I didn't want to imply it had anything to do with the ability to date and stuff, but the... Lack of understanding of certain nuances in social situations and communication has held him back a lot. It's a tricky one to tackle

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Did you mean to respond to me? I don't fully understand your post

Oh I quoted you but cos the bump made the topic visible I saw it again. There was a message of my friend being concerned about me with my first name visible I deleted after hours and Im stressing. But not really its a joke

There are dating websites and I believe also dating agencies for people on the spectrum. But it would also depend on how popular it is in your area and where you live.

It's something that definitely makes it trickier but there are people out there willing to help.

I have no experience at all with that at all myself. I don't think GameFAQs in general is probably a good place if you want to try and find connections out there as I think a there's a vocal section of people here who prefer to be in a rut. Local Facebook groups and stuff like that could be a potential option to. But if you want that you'll have to go looking on your own. Nobody can make you try.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

So my disabled client, the one from page 1 that started this conversation really into gear, is autistic too. I didn't want to mention that as I didn't want to imply it had anything to do with the ability to date and stuff, but the... Lack of understanding of certain nuances in social situations and communication has held him back a lot. It's a tricky one to tackle

Girls have tried flirting with me in the past, but I never pursued it. I have no will to pursue social relationships. I've kinda gone beyond autism and into Schizoid personality disorder. I'm a pretty extreme loner.

Hornswoggled posted...

Girls have tried flirting with me in the past, but I never pursued it. I have no will to pursue social relationships. I've kinda gone beyond autism and into Schizoid personality disorder. I'm a pretty extreme loner.

Remember the girls flirting and how you felt honoured how they showed interest in you or something. Doing that myself pushes me now to be more social because being self aware of how you felt interacting with people and embracing the feelings made me willing to start up my course on college. The driving force of me going college is overwhelmingly social driven which would make my past self crazy thinking of willingly putting myself through school instead of an attempt at a solitary online job like i wanted as a kid. Behaving as consistently as you usually behave like your a nuanced character who has a small role to play in a rigid story is wrong af

Well,I'm not really looking for advice on how to change my life. Just using myself as an example that this type of person exists.

My life has it's benefits. I don't have to work, because I get disability. I like that.

Hornswoggled posted...

Well,I'm not really looking for advice on how to change my life. Just using myself as an example that this type of person exists.

My life has it's benefits. I don't have to work, because I get disability. I like that.

Ok then. I guess I am just a person who thinks he needs to be improving because of how hard I regressed in teenaghood

Behaving as consistently as you usually behave like your a nuanced character who has a small role to play in a rigid story is wrong af

This is interesting, as on the whole I'm sick of dating people who think the opposite of this (main character syndrome is totally a real thing and I'm getting sick of encountering it) but in the context of your post I fully agree with you. Just accepting love "isn't meant for you" is horrible and I'm probably gonna look a bit differently at this moving forward

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Behaving as consistently as you usually behave like your a nuanced character who has a small role to play in a rigid story is wrong af

This is interesting, as on the whole I'm sick of dating people who think the opposite of this (main character syndrome is totally a real thing and I'm getting sick of encountering it) but in the context of your post I fully forget it. Just accepting love "isn't meant for you" is horrible and I'm probably gonna look a bit differently at this moving forward

You think I am throwing out bangers of a quote or am I misreading?
im proud of how I come up with it relative to how I used to be so damn conscious about haters at school telling me how I behave confidently one moment and then shy as fuck the next. I took the words to heart. Then I realised the idiocy! Its So rude how if you change behaviour people notice like youre bad despite it being a mask I was doing to myself. I tried being overly talkative but I changed perspective and now Im 21 Ive changed again to want to talk more. Its evolution of your brain being stunted if you think like this imo am I correct?!

super_felicia posted...

Ok then. I guess I am just a person who thinks he needs to be improving because of how hard I regressed in teenaghood

My only real "goal" in life is to avoid aggravation. No easier way to do that than to avoid relationships and employment.

super_felicia posted...

Remember the girls flirting and how you felt honoured how they showed interest in you or something. Doing that myself pushes me now to be more social because being self aware of how you felt interacting with people and embracing the feelings made me willing to start up my course on college. The driving force of me going college is overwhelmingly social driven which would make my past self crazy thinking of willingly putting myself through school instead of an attempt at a solitary online job like i wanted as a kid. Behaving as consistently as you usually behave like your a nuanced character who has a small role to play in a rigid story is wrong af

Im repeating this joke quote from a game no one here played as far as Im aware heh
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/84a7eb3c.jpg

super_felicia posted...

You think I am throwing out bangers of a quote or am I misreading?
im proud of how I come up with it relative to how I used to be so damn conscious about haters at school telling me how I behave confidently one moment and then shy as fuck the next. I took the words to heart. Then I realised the idiocy! Its So rude how if you change behaviour people notice like youre bad despite it being a mask I was doing to myself. I tried being overly talkative but I changed perspective and now Im 21 Ive changed again to want to talk more. Its evolution of your brain being stunted if you think like this imo am I correct?!

I think it's a banger of a quote! Unfortunately the last two people I dated had BPD and Bipolar and both made me feel like my insecurities were small potatoes compared to theirs. I felt like they were gatekeeping trauma. It really made me think twice about how I've viewed mental health. I felt like I was used by both of them for free therapy.

But at my core I'm someone who has a lot of empathy for mental health issues and your quote made me realise I shouldn't forget that, I guess

Hornswoggled posted...

My only real "goal" in life is to avoid aggravation. No easier way to do that than to avoid relationships and employment.

Im greedy af though I think. I want changes sometimes and I like things not being like a Groundhog Day situation. Meeting people and talking is keeping things spicy to me I get on super well with 3 of my teachers atm I genuinely love talking to them and seeing their opinions

haloiscoolisbak posted...

I think it's a banger of a quote! Unfortunately the last two people I dated had BPD and Bipolar and both made me feel like my insecurities were small potatoes compared to theirs. I felt like they were gatekeeping trauma. It really made me think twice about how I've viewed mental health. I felt like I was used by both of them for free therapy.

But at my core I'm someone who has a lot of empathy for mental health issues and your quote made me realise I shouldn't forget that, I guess

Ugh Im aware of that seeing as my mother is bi polar. I have 0 signs of random unnecessary aggressions I think I have good reasons to emote my anger when Im mad. though I just post weirdly when Im bored sometimes.
she hates my nana for adopting me sometimes. Oh seriously?! You cant have raised me cos of your bpd my dads mother is the best solution for this situation. She skips visiting me so often when she wants to visit and never shows. She gaslights people too much like my half brothers who told me she got people to attack them.
shes great 10% of the time her life but shes crazy gibberish too much.
maybe when people call me out on my gibberish sounding i feel offended so much cos of the reminder of how gibberish people like her can be. She really does have crazy laughs and creepy smiling.
i have bad punctuation I dont think its the same. Im quite logical ngl